I feel you. I hate that feeling. To me the worst is if you make a joke or suggestion and the reaction is silence, but if someone else says it they get laughter or praise.

I don't know your exact position, but getting louder the second time is an option that can help. But if your colleagures are just assholes or bullies I can only say just hang in there.

Talk directly to people, say their name. Also, assume they have brain damage.😅 They're probably not doing it on purpose, they probably just don't have an answer and are leaving it to someone who does.

There's a move you can try, I picked up from a pretty charismatic guy I met couple years back. What he'll do is point at people, kinda rudely, but once he has their attention he spreads his hand open widely in almost a "just playing" manner. And it kinda dissolves any tension. Pretty useful for singling people out. I'd use it sparingly unless you wanna make it part of your image. He makes it work for him.

It sucks when this happens, unfortunately it happens to everyone, I'm sure, from time to time. It happens less frequently if you're more assertive, but it happens to everyone. You're not alone.

Yeah, happens to everyone from time to time. More likely to happen the bigger the group, because they think 'ah, someone else will answer that'... Then nobody does, and then it becomes awkward to reply. A good person replies no matter the awkwardness, but a lot of people have very tight and egoistic senses of self.

It also is more likely to happen if it's a tough question/a question that will require actioning. It's one of those annoying phenomenons. No one blanks a personal 'hows it going!' - lots of people blank a group directed 'can someone check the stock room for a stapler?'

It also could've just been coincidence. Everyone was thinking about something else in their heads.

this happens all the time post transition, im pretty sure i can get away with murder

If it were just once I would say that's not uncommon, but you waiting politely for a natural lull, making deliberate eye contact and being ignored again makes me think something else is up.

Maybe it'd work to have an "attention getter" before your request? Like "hey y'all (pause until some heads turn) Does anyone have this resource I can copy?".

I think most people need to register that there's talking, and that the talking involves them, before they can really clue in on the content.

I tend to be pretty anxiously observant about my surroundings, and I don't think that's typical. Most people don't really have their antennae out at all times.

Idk, tho. I wouldn't be very comfortable in that position.

I think it's entirely plausible that they weren't being obtuse. It's hard to interrupt a conversation with words. Also, especially in a work environment, the lull in the conversation might be coupled with people taking a breath, dissociating, and thinking about some task looming over them.

You know how it's not just what you say, it's how you say it? Body language and the like? If people are having a conversation that I need to break into to ask something, I'd make sure that it's something that's jovial or at least less pressing than my problem and physically be seen and touch their shoulder to get their attention. I'd straight up think of interruption as a melee skill as opposed to a magic spell like speaking over them. If not physical touch, I'd take my elbow at least 5cm away from my ribs and wave my hand.

I think it's a quirk of feeling ignored that makes you so receptive to others who want to be heard. It's like how broken people smile the hardest.

Yeah, I'm luckily so shameless that I'll usually follow it up with "no? Nothing? Okayyyy..." But it does happen. If I do it to someone else it's either because i totally zoned out (oop sorry i know it's rude) or because the person said something where my only reply would get me in trouble (chud saying something at work where i want to tell them to go fuck themselves and die)

Do they know each other better than they know you? Is there something they all share in common that you don't? Is there an age gap? Seniority gap? Do they all go to the same church? Have they clocked your politics? Are you new to the area? Are they a clique? Some groups of people just won't talk to you unless you are socially relevant to them or unusually charismatic. If you're neither of those things it can be hard to break in.