Anon has an idea to get laid : greentext

[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 198 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Don't end it Anon, you just struck it rich my dude. The police tear apart your parents home looking for a nonexistent meth lab run by a nonexistent student and a photo as evidence which is a top search result?

The police union basically just handed your family 10 Million Dollars after a brief lawsuit against the city.

[-] bassomitron@lemmy.world 132 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Man, that might happen for a high profile family/person. For average people in many places in the US, they'll be lucky if the police even pay out to cover damages to property, nevermind anything else.

Edit: and yes, I know this is just a green text and not a real story.

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 55 points 4 weeks ago

They'll be lucky if the police don't kill them in the raid.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 57 points 4 weeks ago

Very easy to tell whether they will get killed during the raid, simply follow the Standard Police Academy Appropriate Force chart:

[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 29 points 4 weeks ago

There are tons of examples counter to your claim.

A lot of the settlements probably don't even get reported on at the request of the city in question.

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

While true, your hypothesis doesn't take into consideration how often the police fuck up.

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[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, 10 million might be a stretch. But the city I used to work in would immediately settle for 250k for something like that. Lawyers are expensive, and losing is more expensive

[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

10M was a stretch for sure, but a family in Jolliet recently got 2.9M USD for the police raiding the wrong house and quite a while back Dr. Lawrence Crosby got 1.25M USD for the police arresting him for the theft of his own car based on an anonymous tip.

[-] Szyler@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Those are accidents vs the op which was not an accident. It was legit the right place and searching for the right thing. They had some evidence to do the search legally. So your comment and this hypothetical aren't quite the same.

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[-] yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 4 weeks ago

And anywhere outside the US, home searches are nearly always legal since they must be signed by a judge. And judges rarely rule against their own.

Over here in Germany, where the inviolability of the home is in the constitution, the suspicion of any crime suffices for getting your home searched. This includes filesharing, spraying graffiti or insulting someone on the internet by calling them a dick. Plus, any resulting damages are only paid if you are found not guilty.

[-] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 9 points 4 weeks ago

calling someone a dick is a crime??

[-] yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

https://archive.is/RsyNC [unpaywalled Washington Post link]

Some reactions:

The text above reads: "Special Police Unit Wall and Color"

The text below: "Andy, you are such 1 dick."

Later the police arrived:

But again:

And the cops came back:

But finally:

By the way, the case was finally dropped. Only because the outrage made them not pursue it though. Courts would have likely ruled this was an insult.

[-] bassomitron@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

That's wild that insults are a crime there, I never knew that. Quite funny back and forth, though. I laughed at how the writing got more and more chaotic haha

As for your other comment, the US also requires a judge to sign off on a warrant for raiding/searching someone's home. Some judges are more strict about it than others, and the more high profile you are, the more the judges tend to be stricter with approving them.

However, if you're in a poorer area and you're not rich, it's not unheard of for home raids to occur quite liberally. Hell, one of my old coworkers got raided a few years ago due to the police going to the wrong address (the intended house was across the street). And no, the police didn't give shit for compensation and his family couldn't afford to take it to court. He also just didn't want to deal with potential repercussions of the police harassing him afterwards since he's an immigrant (here legally, but yeah, lots of people here don't care about that...).

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 37 points 4 weeks ago

I don't think cops are liable for damages even in a case like this.

Probable cause is a whole ass bitch.

[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago

10M was a stretch for sure, but a family in Jolliet recently got 2.9M USD for the police raiding the wrong house and quite a while back Dr. Lawrence Crosby got 1.25M USD for the police arresting him for the theft of his own car based on an anonymous tip, which is about as much "probable cause" as this case.

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[-] RegalPotoo@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

Plenty of places would happily pay a couple of million not to find out

[-] sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 weeks ago

A brief lawsuit that will only exist if you are wealthy or can find contingency representation.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe, but it may take a couple years to see any of that money...

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 106 points 4 weeks ago

"Hmm yes let me talk about a very illegal schedule I on an app that has access to my exact device location 24/7"

Most intelligent greentexter

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 63 points 4 weeks ago

To be fair. Joking about committing a crime is not illegal.

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 37 points 4 weeks ago

Pretty sure it doesn’t have to be illegal for the cops to turn your life inside out.

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 19 points 4 weeks ago

Absolutely, but i would call that the problematic behavior rather than the student committing a edgy joke.

[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

I mean, it seems like reasonable enough suspicion for a search warrant.

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 8 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

A wellfare check by a social worker maybe. Can be at school if they fear the home to be dangerous.

Combined with some extra patrol in the street because they HAVE to take things seriously.

The potential damage such a raid can do (shoot your pet, ptsd) cannot be worth such reckless behavior.

On a side note, i actually expect this post is fake.

[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, it’s a green text of course it’s fake.

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Or your lungs.

[-] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 weeks ago

And the signs at aiports saying joking about bombs is illegal ? I can ignore them and crack on with my comedy bomb routine ?

[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

In that context the specific act of joking is a crime because it can cause huge panic to happen.

I would expand by saying that a joke about a realistic and immediate threat is not a joke at all and requires serious response to guarantee the safety of others.

A student advertising ok social media that they are looking for volunteers in a meth schoolproject is not a direct threat to others. Neither is it a believable scenario.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

yup, you can never "boy who cried wolf" yourself about possible and realistic emergency situations. Sure it sounds like a joke - but it either:

is, nobody does anything, and nothing happens

is, gets taken seriously, and some time and resources are wasted

or

isn't, gets taken seriously, and a disaster is avoided

isn't, nobody does anything, and people end up dead or injured

a small waste of time and resources is always a better outcome than possible death and injury

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

there's a difference, one is causing fear and panic.

Same as running into a movie theater and screaming fire.

[-] rooroo@feddit.org 8 points 4 weeks ago

Very much depending on where you are. Pretending to commit or to have committed a felony (idk the minutiae of translations; Straftat in German) is one in itself over here. Fake it and instantly make it, yay!

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

It is probable cause though.

[-] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 4 points 4 weeks ago

Anyone could have created the account for the joke. Police shouldn't take social media accounts seriously

[-] x00z@lemmy.world 16 points 4 weeks ago

This is why I first spoof my location to your house.

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Might as well spoof it to the police station.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Desoxyn is schedule II though. Still shouldn’t talk about manufacturing schedule II drugs illegally.

[-] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 81 points 4 weeks ago

I really thought anon had a plan here

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

I mean having a lot of rock will get you laid, but not with tinder hotties

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

If your standards are low enough, even a bump could get you laid. You'll definitely get a variety of STDs though, and maybe get robbed as well.

[-] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 70 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, everyone wants some drugs. The girls, the police, ...

[-] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 55 points 4 weeks ago

"The pd reportedly found 39 lbs of drugs at the premises, which took several trips to transport as the 35 lbs were found to be very volitile. So volitile, in fact, that by the time it had reached the locker, the 20lbs had decayed into 5lbs through natural breakdown. The department is looking to press charges for the 1lb they found, but it is unlikely that the defendants will see any prison time as a gram is not normally considered a serious crime."

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

No one talks about the half-life of drugs, shame

[-] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

This is truly the dark souls of drugs

[-] TheKMAP@lemmynsfw.com 42 points 4 weeks ago

"idea to get laid"

"can't follow up, settle for chatting"

[-] LostXOR@fedia.io 10 points 4 weeks ago

Maybe Anon is so lonely that just chatting with women is all he needs.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

that's pretty much what half(or more) of people who wants to get laid really need

[-] don@lemm.ee 30 points 4 weeks ago

Anon always thinking behind

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 weeks ago

All drugs would be legal if we were free.

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