Locking this thread as some of the comments in here are absolutely rancid. No, femmes to not need to risk their safety and accommodate violent misogynists that only want to control and abuse them. It's the responsibility of men to educate themselves and learn the art of truly loving.

A LOT of people in this thread need to join the bell hooks book club on The Will to Change and actually engage with some theory instead of telling women who feel unsafe around incels that they're bigots ackshully for not accepting these poor lonely violent smol beans who are just soooooo oppressed. This shit is why minorities do not feel safe on this site. Yall need to do better.

This thread is a perfect example of incels refusing to take any personal responsibility for an extremist ideology they clung to and one that has lead to multiple mass shootings and killings of minorities.

Yet again men refusing to take ownership or pay the price for their mistakes.

If women had a hate ideology that lead to mass shootings we'd be expected to publicly self and crit and beg for forgiveness.

Literally just classic male entitlement and different rules for them.

Cringe this website allows incels to mask off and play the victims like in this thread.

Wonder how many women have left or made new profiles to hide themselves because of embarrassments like this?

We wouldn't give nazi's, transphobes, fascists, libs space to mask off like this, so why incels? Why do women and enbies have to pay the price again for men's fragility and ignorance?

I deleted an account I made over how fucking uncomfortable the comments in this thread made me feel but why should I be scared away from an apparent safe space by incels with a chip on their shoulder?

And you try to explain it from your position of lived experience and being a literal victim of this and it's either unhinged tantrums, accusations of ableism (because being a misogynist is apparently intrinsic to being ND) or i have to listen to reddit "both sides" smugness, faux intellectualism and accusations of lacking material analysis from some dolt man who thinks letting abusers into their victims spaces is praxis.

Fuck that. Do better hexbear or ban me, both work.

Edit: I've noticed a lot of the incels in this thread have they/them in their names. I have used terms like men and male brained a lot here. I'm really sorry if that offended anyone. It was not my intention to misgender anyone if i had. Guess i didnt think people who disconnected from the gender binary would expect women to be their sex coaches and cry victim over an extremist ideology 🙃 either way I'm genuinely sorry if that has misgendered anyone, also sorry your views are fucked.

The rise of "inceldom" as a social phenomena was inevitable with the destruction of non-transactional social spaces and general alienation brought about by capitalism.

It's tempting to think that these people are struggling exactly because they're horrible misogynists, but historically tons of misogynistic people have still had sex and relationships. Bluntly, even the Golden State Killer was married at one point, and had children.

Life is materially and socially worse for a lot of people. I've made this same post basically every time this comes up, but where are the places where people can just hang out publicly, without being harassed by the cops or expected to spend money they might not afford to spend, just to socialize? If you cannot meaningfully socialize, you have little hope of getting a relationship or even just sex.

For many USians at least (can't speak for other countries) dating starts to suck waaaay more ass once you're out of school. The post-school options people are generally aware of are: Dating apps (which suck ass and seem to be a potent vector for extreme mental illness), bars and clubs (which cost money and suck if you don't drink or you have anxiety about being compromised around strangers), and that's basically it.

Lack of social spaces necessarily produces lack of sex and relationships. It will get worse before it gets better.

I'm not keeping a weirdo with bad energy in my circle when I've spent nearly half my life trying to purge myself of patriarchal brainworms; especially not when said weirdo repeatedly rebuffs my attempts to get him to see right. Like, you can only burn your hands on a hot stove so many times before you decide "y'know what, nah, I'm over it; have a good life-- or as close to one as you can ig". You are who you chill with; and I'm not tryna wake up with fleas.

The only people I keep around me are those tryna grow and self-improve. If an incel actually wants to get on that motion, cool, more power to him; but I'm not wasting breath or effort on somebody who's gone out of their way to either rebuff or outright denigrate my viewpoints.

IMO this just comes across as Feminist tailism. Are incels (as in the original definition of incels, not Tate adjacent men) failed by the patriarchy? Yes. Is it correct to still reject them, keep them away due to the danger they pose? Also yes. To any degree to which incels have ever organized with each other as communities of men who are frustrated with being denied their slice of the pie, they're a reactionary force and opposing them has been the right move.

Incels represent a crack in the reality of Patriarchy. They are a reactionary departure from its logic. In rejecting the project of claiming women, abusing them, and upholding their place as men, they negate patriarchy, yet they are far from a progressive splinter since they still define themselves in the shadow of what they actually expect masculine self actualization to mean, doing those exact same things. The negation of the negation of the original incel is the current incel, the Tate adjacent types, that actually come back to hegemonic masculinity with redoubled force, the "sigma males" who are even more antisocial than the prototypical patriarchs the original incel failed to become.

If the feminist movement attracted incels through its promise of abolishing the patriarchy, they would have to abandon the label and radicalize their view of gender. It's on them to catch up; slowing down and trying to make space for them inside feminism is putting the cart before the horse.

This is what i feel about you sex havers

I think nowadays the term incel has long been divorced from the literal "involuntary celibate" definition

People like Andrew Tate and Destiny gives off so much incel energy despite probably having a higher body count than 99% of men

I'm guilty of saying "I have a bf" as a knee jerk reaction to random guys invading my space like inviting themselves to sit with me or something ngl.

But just as much I don't bring my bf up around guys who give off a particularly energy. I'm scared they'll lash out if they find out I'm "not theirs for the taking" and instead i just get away as quickly as I can.

Every friend i have who dates men has a story like this. (god I realise that sounds like him lmao)

Don't know how I feel about having to engage and teach feminism to the later group when I'm scared to even be honest around them.

Not a bad article. It's important to make the distinction that, while some people are misogynists and don't have sex, those traits aren't exclusively found together. Some people who are technically incels are otherwise normal, and a lot of misogynists are in relationships. Belittling a man for not having sex reinforces patriarchal ideals that not having sex as a man makes you a failure.

All that said, there are a lot of very loud misogynist incels online, and they deserve what they've brought on themselves. It's just good to target your insults in such a way that their misogyny is the focus.

I'd be lying if I said I was never an incel, dating can be extremely hard for an introvert. I was never the misogynistic type though even if I was frustrated and wondering what's wrong with me. Misogynists will hate women whether they have sex or not, and they deserve equal hatred. It's also very true that the sexual activity and dating life of men is sadly correlated to their value as a man by the patriarchic system. It's perfecly valid to have difficulty in dating or not wanting to date at all as a man.