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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by miracleorange@beehaw.org to c/betterment@beehaw.org

So, to get this out of the way, I'm a cisgender white man from a well-off family in a fairly affluent town. I'm making this post because I want to hear perspectives from those who are different from and likely significantly more knowledgeable than me. (Literally as I was writing this post, I came to the epiphany that I should probably more properly educate myself on socialism.)

TL;DR: What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?

I like to consider myself socialist/progressive in thought---in favor of wealth redistribution via various methods, live and let live, freedom for everyone as long as you're not materially harming anyone, etc.---but I grew up in a fairly conservative household (more socially than fiscally, but even then). Being in a rich area, I never really saw houseless people around unless I went to one of the nearby cities, and the general policy was keep walking and don't look. My parents definitely raised me to be kind and generous, but more in a detached "give to charity" way.

Rather recently, I've really embraced this idea of being socialist, and I've become very free with giving my money in particular (though I'm aware I could do more, like join a DSA branch or somethin'). I love giving to non-profit organizations when I can, I support creators I like on Patreon. I've even started giving to people on Fedi who I've seen need money for whatever reason. Spread the wealth, right?

Now, things have changed where I live, and even in my rich lil burb, you can usually find at least one refugee or houseless person when you go out to a grocery store or something. I just saw a guy who was standing outside a grocery store asking for spare change, and it was a rare occasion that I actually had cash in my wallet. On my way out, I gave it to him. Simple.

But I feel weird about it. I have all these ideas in my head from White America saying that they'll just buy alcohol or drugs with it or that they're scamming me or anything else like that. Then on the other hand, I think that it's just as likely (if not more) that they're going to spend it on things they actually need to live and how it's not my job to police how they use their money. And then on the third hand, I think that maybe it would be better to donate money to organizations that help out houseless people than just giving money to random people. Then on the fourth hand---you get the idea.

For those of you who actually read the whole post and didn't stop at the TL;DR, I have a few questions:

  1. Why in God's name did you actually read this whole thing?
  2. Are these feelings normal or am I just a self-centered prick?
  3. What are your opinions on giving money to houseless people you just randomly meet?
  4. As a bonus question for the socialists out there: Any recs on socialism learning resources for someone who likes reading, but doesn't like reading books?

For those of you who made it all the way to the end, thank you for reading my neurotic ramblings.


EDIT: I didn't really expect this to blow up... but thank you all so much for your perspectives on everything. It was exactly what I was hoping for and exactly what I didn't think I was going to get. I tried to read everything and I feel simultaneously less conflicted, but definitely more... not confused, but maybe full of ideas?

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[-] Thorned_Rose@kbin.social 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

.1. I like reading and I find different perspectives interesting and I like to stretch my thinking into someone else's shoes - it helps be more empathetic and less rigid/extreme.

.2. These feelings are very normal when you consider societal conditioning tells us poor people are poor because they're lazy or something and giving them money is a BAD IDEA BECAUSE THEY'LL WASTE IT ON DRUGS!!!1!1!.

.3. I'm poor. Like poor poor. Below the poverty line poor. I'm disabled and can't work. My spouse is my carer. We make do and we're OKish. Certainly better off than some, that's for sure. Anyways, money has a lot more value to us because even small amounts can make a big difference. But I will still give money when I can, even if it's a few bucks. But most of the time, I give an amount that's still significant (in terms of what we can afford). I most often encounter folks who need help outside a supermarket so my go to is to always ask them first if there's anything specific they need. Most of the time they ask for something to buy. It could be a staple or it could be a treat. I don't care, I buy them what they ask for. None have ever asked me for anything ridiculous. If in the future someone does, I'll be straight up that I can't afford it and ask them if there's anything cheaper I can get. I also always get out cash and give them that as well. Very occasionally I get some saying they don't need anything, they've never asked for cash instead but I always say that I'll bring them some back.
Sorry, I realise at this point I need to explain that in my country cash isn't that common to carry around. Most people pay for everything by card. So I always have to get money out to give to folks.

Why do I do this? I used to think, "Don't give homeless cash, they'll just waste it on booze or whatever.". That changed to "Only give food because that will actually help rather than wasting it on shit they don't need". To, "I can't always know what someone needs so maybe I should just give money and let them choose. And hey, they have a pretty shitty and hard existence so who am I to judge them for wanting to take the edge off that. I do that myself too sometimes.". My stance changed over time as I talked to people directly about their circumstances, talked to people who provide aid, talked to people about socialism and philosophy, read more on harm reduction, etc.

Now I'm at the point where I practice radical unconditional compassion - if I am to truly respect everyone's fundamental human rights, I cannot make judgements based on my own personal perceptions and beliefs. Because they are just that - mine. I cannot pick and choose who has rights, which rights, and who doesn't. Human rights are for everyone. If I expect people to respect my rights unconditionally, I have to reciprocate that.
Now, unconditional compassion can be bloody hard to practice at times. How can I have compassion for murderers or r**ists?? How can I have compassion and uphold the rights for those who have taken other people's rights away?? First, because I can have compassion and empathy for people without having to believe the same things as them or agree with their actions. I can respect fundamental rights without agreeing to the ways others are breeching them. Second, because I realise that we are ALL products of our upbringing, society, genetics, conditioning, experiences, good choices, bad choices.... There is no such thing as an evil person. There's just circumstances and society that either supports us to make good decisions or ones that allow us to fall through the cracks and make bad choices. We as a society and a species need to look at ourselves collectively and understand where we are going wrong that we have 'allowed' people to have so little personal responsibility, that we have let people fall so far that they are ok with taking away the rights and lives of others.

And yes, absolutely there is personal responsibility. I would argue that a lot of society's ills come from lack of personal responsibility (i.e. fobbing blame off on someone or something else and not owning and learning from mistakes). But I also know that lack of personal responsibility doesn't exist in a vacuum - that came from somewhere.

Anyway, getting a bit off topic now lol. The TL;DR of it is that I want to uphold everyone's basic and intrinsic rights without limitation and to do this I cannot pronounce judgements down on others. So yes, I give them cash even when some of them (likely a small minority from what I've observed) may 'abuse' my kindness. I'm ok with that. I would rather give to all and have some take advantage, than give to none. Treat others as you would have them treat you, ya know?

.4. Not reading, but I do enjoy Second Thought on YouTube and Nebula. I feel it gives a good summary of ideas and issues. :)

If you got this far, thanks for reading my dissertation 😅

[-] hazeebabee@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 year ago

I really like the way you phrased the mental shift from judging "what a person needs" to respecting their right to make a choice about what they need.

I agree that most people dont abuse generosity, & beyond that it kind of doesnt matter if they do. Better a chump than a scrooge.

[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago

I appreciate the dissertation, and I read every word of it. 💕

[-] VoxAdActa@kbin.social 26 points 1 year ago

I was leaving the Wal-Mart parking lot about a year ago and there was a man with a cardboard sign at the traffic light. I was about to ignore him, and then I thought: "I just spent $50 on a toothbrush. I spend $5 on this guy."

After that point, I started thinking. I'd always been told these guys would "drive away in a BMW at the end of the day" and/or "they're gonna buy drugs", and I never really thought about those claims.

The BMW thing turns out to be a Bigfoot story; everyone "knows a guy" or "has a cousin" that saw that happen once, but in a world where everyone's got a phone in their pocket and a camera on their dash, I have yet to see such an event being documented. God knows the insufferable pricks who trot that line out would die happy if they could make that kind of evidence go viral.

And the drugs... I mean, maybe? I guess? But then again, I could give my kid money for his birthday and he might go out and buy drugs with it, too. I have no way to know that. I shouldn't give anyone money ever, I guess? Fuck, as far as "giving out money" goes, I'm giving Wal-Mart money that they're going to use to increase poverty, fuck the environment, and lobby Congress for bills that will inevitably have an actual body count. Giving money to a guy who's looking to score a joint doesn't even rate on that scale.

Not to mention that, as far as I know, there's an equally likely possibility he's going to take that $5 bill and use it eat something for the first time in two days. So yeah, that's a gamble I'm willing to take.

And why are we more likely to give money to a guy shittily playing a guitar with a hat on the ground? Because we feel like he's working for it? What a shitty way to think about people. Entertain me, poor person, and if you're good enough, I might give you a pittance.

Or maybe it's because you can just drop some change in the hat and don't have interact. As an introvert, that does kinda sound like a selling point. But I'm cynical, so I'm pretty sure it's more the previous thing.

If I've got more than an insultingly small amount of cash on me (that is, I'm not going to grab a couple of quarters out of my cupholder), and the circumstances line up so it doesn't put me in any danger or at risk of any real consequences, yeah, I'm gonna give someone cash.

[-] Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org 20 points 1 year ago

What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?

I live in the PDX area and so run into a lot of houseless people. For me, it varies. The houseless are not a monolith. There are many, many different kinds of houseless for how they got there and why they're there now. Many just need a bit of help to get back on their feet, many others don't want help. You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I've had many conversations with them on the train and there's a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break. I don't give to every one of them, but the ones I know it will help I try to when I'm able.

[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 14 points 1 year ago

You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I’ve had many conversations with them on the train and there’s a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break.

I wish I were the kind of person who does that. I'm definitely a big introvert and don't really like talking to people outside of controlled social situations. Honestly, I feel like maybe being that kind of person would make this whole situation easier, but... yeah.

Thank you very much for your perspective, though. It helps.

[-] Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago

For what it matters, I think the most important thing to take away from what I said is that the houseless are not a monolith. As soon as somebody says "all houseless do X" know that they're talking out of their ass. All houseless people do not do any one thing, because they're all individual people with their own wants and needs.

I think it's great you're questioning those feelings you're having though and wanting to help more. That's where I started. Even if the progress is slow, as long as you're moving forward in that direction it's a good thing. Best of luck to you 😊

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[-] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago

I was what you'd probably call a late bloomer and didn't get my first steady job until I was 21 (and not because I was in school). With my first full paycheck, I stopped at a Wendy's on my way home and enjoyed a meal that I bought with my own hard earned money. Sat down in the restaurant and just enjoyed it. I sat across from a window that I could see a man across the parking lot asking passersby for change. Sat there and ate my meal watching him the entire time thinking how fortunate I was. Finished my meal, bought a burger and fries and brought it over to him. The look on his face when I gave him this meal is burned into my head.

I give money to panhandlers somewhat frequently. I don't care what they spend it on. I hope they use it for something they really need, but that's none of my business. I spend money on a lot of wasteful things, if I'm being perfectly honest, and I have no moral high ground to judge what they want to spend their money on (because it is theirs the moment I give it to them).

I literally cannot imagine being homeless or a vagrant. I have been fortunate enough in my life to never even be close to it. I live in a place that has very cold winters. My heart breaks every time I see people out panhandling in that shit.

[-] off_brand_@beehaw.org 19 points 1 year ago

So this was recently pointed out to me, and it really changed my view. You've seen how tv treats withdrawal, right? Try that on the street. Try that when you have to beg for the cash that feeds you, and without a lock on your door to keep your things safe.

In an ideal world, if you're suffering from addiction on the streets you'd be able to get treatment. But harm reduction programs like that aren't always available, and they are basically never popular or well funded.

Untreated withdrawal can be fatal without being homeless. But if you're already in such a precarious situation, it seems so much more likely that you'll die.

I live in the city, and when I start asking myself what they're doing with the money I remind myself they're already willing to endure panhandling. If they're willing to endure harassment from cops and people who hate them for like $20, I'm sure whatever they need it for is valid.

[-] Butterbee@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago

My opinion on it is, I don't particularly care if they spend what I give on drugs. If I have money to spare and give it to someone who's asking for it on the street, they are a human in need and this is the most direct action I can take to make their day better. If what they really need is a hit of whatever, that's not my business. I do hope they are getting help from organizations as well. I do hope they are able to find a way out of their situation. But once the money is out of my hands and into theirs, it's THEIRS to do with as they see fit.

[-] StrayCatFrump@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Don't be paternalistic. Homeless people know how to spend money just like anyone else, and will spend it on the best thing for themselves because they are the only people who can validly make decisions regarding their own lives. If they need to self-medicate ("spend it on drugs"), who exactly are you to decide that is an invalid decision? And most likely they will spend it on things like food and clothing anyway.

Choose to help by giving someone some money or don't. It's a small individual action that may help someone else a bit. That's all. If you care to make larger systemic change, you should really move on to organizing with homeless folks anyway; building networks of solidarity and helping to defend communities against the violence of the state and other bad actors. So maybe give someone a $20 but then sit down and have a conversation with them, and don't think the one act of charity alleviates your social obligation to act with solidarity and help change society.

EDIT: PS - Your feelings might be "normal", but that is only because they reflect the typical liberal propaganda perpetuated in society: that homeless people are somehow less human and less capable than everyone else and deserve their situation, rather than that they are simply victims of the capitalist economy that liberalism itself serves to uphold. These feelings shouldn't be normal. So help work on them in yourself and in others. We all have things to learn and growth to do. Undo the conditioning this shit system has pushed at us since birth. Kill the cop in your own head. Then we can move on to the other ones.

[-] marco@beehaw.org 17 points 1 year ago

I feel this way a bunch.

One thing I'd like to add is that there is this essay by Australian moral philosopher Peter Singer, called "Famine, Affluence, and Morality", where he argues that we are all quite immoral for not giving all our extra spending money to starving people. Since its release in 1972 nobody was able to really to find any major flaws in his arguments. Knowing this won't make you feel better, but at least it's not just you ;)

My approach: I volunteer at a local food bank, whenever I can. I know that nobody who is hungry is turned away, even if they don't live in the official service area, or where here a few days ago. I donate to this foodbank, when I have some money to give. Not because I don't trust individuals to make the right decision with money, but because I know it will reach and help more people that way. Also, I never carry cash.

As a dear friend likes to say: The medicine for fear and anger is Community, Action, and Compassion. Good luck!

[-] BuxtonWater@beehaw.org 16 points 1 year ago
  1. I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn't a pain to read.
  2. Yes they're normal, you're just trying to judge who you feel is most in need of what you can give.
  3. If I have the money on me and can spare it then I'll do it, but that very rarely happens as I don't carry my wallet most of the time.

Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what. And that is worth the short term damage of them potentially using it for drugs, it gives them another period of time (days, weeks, etc) to choose to change for the better. It's a very painful and embarassing thing to ask another person for money for drugs (subtly or non-subtly), very painful.

But it's better than resorting to theft or dying depending on what you're addicted to. Withdrawal is absolute hell and I would if the situation arose give an addict in active withdrawal money to get out of it without much hesitation.

[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what.

That's definitely what I was thinking: even if they're going to buy drugs, maybe they'll be able to do it safer. I love the idea of harm reduction and am aware of the studies that say how it helps. And congrats on kicking your addiction!

I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn’t a pain to read.

I tutor English for a living and constantly stress to my students the importance of breaking things into paragraphs. As someone with ADHD, I write the way I'd like to read, so thank you for that comment lol

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[-] Gabadabs@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

If they want to spend any money you them on drugs/alcohol... So what? Like, I can guarantee you that if I had to sleep on the street whatever gets me through my day or helps me sleep does that. Giving homeless people food is kind, but honestly it's very common already and they have other needs. I give them money, because I've almost been there a few points in my life.

[-] Entropywins@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

Absolutely no one needs to be given money for drugs/alcohol. I was a homeless drug addict and the amount of mental illness and trauma that's out there is beyond your imagination, if you haven't lived it, I can't blame you for your thinking. But please don't enable people, there is so much trauma out there and helping to perpetuate it is no good deed. The things I've went through and witnessed is down right awful stuff and it's happening right now in the homeless drug circles and I'm not talking theft, it gets much much worse. If you feel for the homeless your best bet is donating to outreach and homeless shelter or volunteering your time and being a kind ear to listen and maybe show them they are worthy of love and a better life.

[-] ondoyant@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

i don't want to invalidate your experience, but harm reduction research suggests this is a flawed perspective. somebody should be getting drugs for people who need them. quitting some drugs is difficult, if you do it wrong you can die, and if people can get drugs without doing dangerous shit, they probably will. there are cogent arguments to suggest that giving people drugs when they ask for them, providing them with resources that make taking those drugs safer, and giving them a place to live might really make it easier for people to quit, because you are giving them stability they can't provide for themselves. certainly providing rehab resources freely is part of it, but if you remove the need to pay for drugs, alot of the incentive to do bad stuff to get drugs disappears.

[-] StringTheory@beehaw.org 14 points 1 year ago

My opinion is biased by having been homeless and hungry as a kid.

We did not beg, so we didn’t get money to spend. The help we got (food and clothing) was donated from charity groups.

From a child’s perspective, it was a dangerous and desperate time with no options. So as an adult I’m focused on how to reach the quiet suffering ones. I donate to community charities, who can get the most out of my money and give help to the people who don’t stand on street corners.

[-] Tastyzero@beehaw.org 14 points 1 year ago

I work in mental health and addiction. People are good at finding ways to pay for their addictions. Any extra money often goes to food, housing or health.

I don't give people panning money in my own city because I'm often working with these folks. I will in other cities. If you have money you should give it directly to people. It works better than any other service delivery. And it makes them feel good. And it makes you feel good.

[-] iamhazel@beehaw.org 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I have a pretty similar background except I'm a trans woman and for the past decade I've lived and schooled and worked in a downtown area - about 80k population in the city.

My instinct used to be they will use it for drugs or are a grifter, many years ago. My current position is, if I have the money to spare then I should help with absolute disregard for my old thought patterns. If there is a chance this human won't be able to eat today, and I have a chance to help, then I will try, though I almost never have cash. I will offer to buy them a meal if near a restaurant.

Today my roommate and I were coming home from urgent care and they keep a package of bottled water in the car, and we had picked up food, so we offered a burger and two bottles of water and the person was grateful.

I am autistic and fwiw my therapist's take is that especially in big cities they are basically all grifters playing the tourists and to ignore them. I don't know what I think about that, but he would know a lot more than me.

Edit to add: I could not care less anymore what they use the money for. If there was a comprehensive functional model for helping people get off the street who want off, I'd feel differently, but then this would be an entirely different convo.

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[-] dinodrinkstea@beehaw.org 12 points 1 year ago

Mutual aid is one of the most direct, best ways to make the world a better place and practice praxis. It's not an either/or situation: give money when you can, but you could also volunteer with an organization that's horizontal and not one of those scammy, hierarchial ones with too much power. Also, if you give someone cash, it's theirs now, and wanting people to prove they're "worthy" beacuse they "really" need the money is antithetical to mutual aid. And also, i'm proud of you for wanting to do better than how you were raised✌🏻

[-] NetHandle@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

Hobos are still people.
They have their own agency.
They can make their own choices.
We can't just assume they're all hopelessly addicted to crack.
We can't assume we know why their homeless.
We can't assume that we know how they will choose to spend their money.
When you give someone money it becomes their money and how they choose to spend it is their choice. Freedom.

That said, you're better off donating to the foodbank. They get deals on food and make a dollar go a lot further and you can get a receipt and claim it as a tax deduction. It's the economical choice.

[-] LostCause@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I might out myself now in regards to where I’m from, but it seems worth it to talk about here.

In my town there is a project where houseless people can sell a magazine, which has stories about them and local charities and other relevant topics, say refugees or also LGBT cause a sad amount of people lose their home due to that. So it costs 3€ and 2€ goes to them and 1€ to the magazine writers and printing I think. They get like 10 of these for free a month and then spend the 1€ to buy more if they want.

I love this idea for multiple reasons, one of them being it humanises them and so I actually learned of some of their troubles and names by reading the stories and seeing their pictures.

It also makes me feel better to buy something and interact like a customer, than to just give money, that makes me feel uncomfortable a bit. Idk why either cause idc about the drugs or alcohol, maybe a classic capitalist conditioning lol.

So I buy this one a lot, a lot more than I should probably considering I‘m only a permanently renting working poor.

Downside, sometimes random people fish these magazines out of the trash and pretend to be official sellers, which is why they needed to introduce an ID for it. Some of them can also be quite pushy or unfriendly, but that is really a tiny minority! The vast majority are so happy to talk a bit and don‘t mind a no thank you.

I‘d wish this idea could take off more worldwide and it would probably make the world a tiny little bit better of a place. I mean, social safety nets and charities overall do more for that, but this is a good addon.

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 5 points 1 year ago

Those magazines are a thing in multiple countries, so I doubt you doxxed yourself with that.

[-] HidingCat@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago
  1. Because it's one of the top posts now and it's a topic that's familiar to many and resonates strongly? XD
  2. They're normal, you do want your money to go to doing maximum good after all.
  3. Probably not a good idea.

I'm going to come from a different perspective, because 1) I've done some time in non-profits as both staff and volunteer 2) I come from an affluent country that despite the high rate of home ownership and income levels, there're still some that fall through the cracks.

Firstly, the thing about giving random poor people money being a bad decision isn't unfounded in truth. I've talked to various social workers, volunteers and also people in the neighbourhoods who know those that ask for money, and my estimate is that 80% of the time, they're not accepting help, unable to utilise help effectively, or just have very poor money sense (gambling is the biggest vice here). So unless you know the person asking for help, the best way is to either direct help to them; I find that just sending them to the nearest charity isn't good enough, it's better to get the charity to them if possible; or directly help them with what they need at that point in time, be it food, clothes, or other essentials.

This reminds me of a personal story where I was happy to give someone money: There used to be an old man, who has passed by now, that played the harmonica at this street corner. He was not homeless, but due to circumstances he was barely getting by, and was living all alone. The gig he was doing not only gave him a little extra money to live like a human, but was also his only social outlet. Many in the neighbourhood were just happy to give him a couple of dollars every now and then, and talk to him for a few minutes.

[-] foxtrots@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  1. Head empty
  2. I think these feelings are normal... kind of. They are normal in the sense of, you did something that contradicts what you were taught your whole life. They are also normal because you're trying to weigh the pros and cons of a complicated issue that has no one-size-fits-all answer because every individual human is different. I can somewhat but not completely relate to these feelings, because I've lived in areas with very large homeless populations my whole life, so I don't really analyze it too much, but I get how it's different for a new experience.
  3. If you can do it, I say do it. No matter what they choose to spend it on, they need money to eat and have water and eventually have somewhere to stay. Making money when you don't have a job or an address or savings is nearly impossible; saving up, or amassing things to make life easier, are both also extremely difficult, since you can lose everything at any moment. So, yes, the person may choose to use that money in a way that hurts them... IMO that's their decision to grapple with. I just know that, without any resources, they will likely be in a worse position regardless.

I also think that anyone living in that kind of situation would really appreciate kindness and dignity, which are both sorely lacking in how most people react to a homeless person asking them for help. So, even if you can't help financially, recognizing your fellow human being is a start, miles above "look away and move on".

Don't feel bad for giving someone who needs money some money. Don't beat yourself up for being unsure how to proceed. Just try to be compassionate; asking these questions is definitely a move forward, IMO.

[-] foxtrots@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

Another thing that came to mind just now - while there are often organizations and government resources for homeless people, they might not always have access to them. Trying to get a psychiatrist who takes Medicaid took me 2 entire days of phone calls to find even one who would accept a new patient, and then another 2 months' wait to get seen. I've also heard from people in my last city that they wouldn't stay in shelters because they're too unsafe and they'd rather risk sleeping outside in the cold. So, when you wonder if it might've been better to donate to an organization, well, maybe, but there will always be limits to how many people they can serve and there will always be people falling through the cracks who need help. Just some more food for thought.

[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I know the struggle of mental healthcare on Medicaid all too well, and I also think a lot about how shelters and stuff can be so limiting or exclusive.

Also thank you so much for both of your comments. I think you touched on a lot of the things I feel personally but am too conflicted to really settle on, so to see your words was really reassuring.

[-] Wigglet@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago

I think you need to go talk to the familiar faces and get to know them. Ask them what they need and get it for them and a little cash if you can. You might find other ways you can help them like connecting them to other resources or giving them rides to things they need like jobs, clinics, shelters, support etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with giving people cash. Yeah, they might spend it on drugs. Addiction is a huge problem but you being just one more judgemental person in their life isn't going to be their turning point. Be a good listener, show them they matter, and bee kind. It sounds like you know that guilt of giving is misplaced so thats a great start.

[-] davehtaylor@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago

It's such a popular myth that people asking for money are somehow scamming people, or that they're making more money than having an "actual job", or whatever. The "yeah I guy I know said he saw a panhandler pack up his stuff and hop in a BMW and drive off" urban legend is pervasive.

I think so many of these ideas are ways for people to assuage the cognitive dissonance of living in a so-called "rich" country, or "best country in the world" or whatever, and then seeing people suffering. They don't want to believe that circumstances out of one's control can cause people to end up like that. They have to believe that poor and homeless are either faking, scamming, or otherwise ended up there by their own stupid/irresponsible/ignorant/whatev choices. Otherwise it shatters the illusion of paradise.

Thing is, regardless of what so many think, poverty and homelessness aren't the result of individual choices. They're systemic choices. They're social choices.

Sure, maybe Frank spent all his money on gambling and lost all of the rent money. Maybe Alice lost everything on some MLM that her friends said was a guaranteed win. Even so, why did they feel like they had to do these things? Because our capitalist society prizes money over everything. First, by the fact that you literally die without it. Second because it's a status symbol. It shows you've "made it." It forces people to do desperate things just to survive. They wouldn't be in those situations if our society didn't push them to it.

Also, who tf is going to pretend? Why would someone willingly stand out in the heat or cold, tear their clothes, rub themselves down with dirt, etc. and then beg from people who do nothing look down on them and scorn them? No one is out there pretending to be homeless raking in $70K/year.

So someone ends up homeless. Maybe they had a car before becoming homeless that they'd paid off, so they were able to keep it. They're probably living out of it. They might have also had a phone, tablet, or other personal electronics. Selling your car and your phone isn't going to net you enough to stay in your home when it comes down to the wire. And if you're facing having to live on the street, then why not have something, anything to hold on to. So even if the "panhandler got into his Beemer" myth were real, so what? People's circumstances change.

Which goes to another point: people expect performative poverty from the poor and homeless in order to believe they're "worthy" of help. "Well, if you have an iPhone you must not be hurting that bad" is such a common idea, and it's so, so completely wrong. When then follows along to the idea that you (the collective you), get to judge who's worth of help. You get to decided who needs it enough. You get to decide what they should or shouldn't use the money for. It's a punitive paternalism. And it dovetails also into the idea that so many people hold, that they cannot possible support universal healthcare, universal childcare, UBI, or anything like that, because someone, somewhere, might get something they don't "deserve." Which is a horrifying way to construct a society.

We regularly talk about "earning a living", without realizing that this phrase literally means that you don't deserve to live unless you can prove it.

I'm of the idea that you should never have to pay for the things that you would die without: food, water, shelter, healthcare. Those are literal human rights that should never be gatekept. And a society can make that happen. We have the ability and the resources to make that happen. And every day that we choose not to is an atrocity.

So, to bring it back around: if someone is asking for help, handing them a bag of goodies, or your leftovers from dinner isn't helpful. You don't know their needs more than they do. And cash is the best way for them to get exactly what it is they need. And if they spend it on drugs or alcohol or a lottery ticket or whatever other supposedly friviouls thing? Makes no difference to me. Maybe that's what they needed in that moment. That's not for me to decide. They need help, and if I can, I will.

We absolutely need to address the societal and structural issues that drive poverty. But NGOs and NPOs are only in it for themselves. They care about maintaining their organizations. Solve the problems, and then there's no need for them. That's not a world they want. NPOs cannot and do not help. Coming together to fight for a better world, getting involved in local politics, finding actual socialist candidates and supporting their campaigns, joining unions, finding ways to fight capitalism, those are the things that help. But in the meantime, the symptoms have to be treated as well, and that's were mutual aid comes in. Helping each other and lifting each other up as best as we can.

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[-] exohuman@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

There was a point in the past in which all of the public mental health institutions were closed down. A large portion of the homeless in cities like Detroit are folks with outstanding mental health problems that have no support. They also may self medicate using alcohol or drugs. We need to support policies that put public mental health support back in place.

[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

Fuck Reagan. That is all.

[-] UngodlyAudrey@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

I think you're overthinking it a bit. Doesn't really matter too much, a dollar or two, in the long run. If I have cash on me(which isn't always the case), I'll usually give to them. If they spend it on vices, whatever. It's not really that much of a loss.

[-] realChem@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

I think there are already a lot of good answers to your question here, but I figure I can add my own perspective. For your reference, I've lived in several pretty big cities in the eastern US:

I'm another person who almost never has cash on me. I happen to end up with some cash kicking around maybe two or three times a year. Sometimes, though, people will ask for money for something specific. When that happens, if its something I can reasonably get for them – food, socks, a bus ticket, etc – I will. I'm not in favor of making myself judge and jury over what people should be doing with their money or anything, but since I rarely have cash to give in the first place it's what I've settled on.

When I do have cash on me by chance, I'll give it (as long as it feels like a safe situation to be pulling out my wallet in). Once when I told someone I'd buy them the bus ticket they were asking for they got mad and left, so it's certainly true that sometimes what people say they need the money for isn't actually what they were going to buy. But, I mean, that's not really that big a deal imo, the same could be said about teenagers asking their parents for money! I try to not worry about what they're going to do with it. Hopefully they won't use it to do something that's going to hurt them more in the long run, but I recognize that I'm not qualified to make that call for them. Even if they do buy drugs or alcohol with the money, maybe that's what they need to do to avoid crippling or (especially in the case of alcohol) deadly withdrawals.

Finally, I'll end with a question to the other folks in this thread: what do you do when you encounter people selling, for example, flowers or bottles of water from the side of the road? I used to see this very often in one of the cities I've lived in. I've been told that a lot of these people are actually being exploited, and get to keep almost none of the money they earn through these sales. Is that true? If so, do you know a good way to help these people out without having your money go to the people exploiting them?

[-] meteorswarm@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

One thing I do is to try to always carry a few singles, and keep them in that weird small pocket in my jeans. That way I can pull them out and give them with no issue of my wallet.

[-] GumReason@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago
[-] miracleorange@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

Not to give my life's story, but while I come from a decent amount of wealth, I live in a very high cost of living area. With my inability to work enough hours to move out, not to mention my wage being too low, I currently live my with dad, who's on a fixed income so I can at least pay off my student loans instead of paying rent. Was "poor" the best word to use? Probably not, but I'm very casual and flippant when I speak most of the time.

[-] chloyster@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I give money when I can, unfortunately I just don't really carry cash on me all that often.

But yeah I mean to echo some other stuff here, they will spend the money on what they feel is most necessary for them. I am privileged enough to have not experienced being houseless, so I don't really think it's my place to judge how they use what I give them. They definitely need it more than me, that's all I really know.

[-] Osvaldoilustrador@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Not always I can help, but I do try sometimes. Cuz I received help when needed, that changed many things in my life. I don't police what they gonna do with the money, I don't think I'm capable of judging that. But it's more about being human imo.

I think about that story about a little bird trying to stop a fire happening at forest by carrying water drops in its beak, and it says something about if everyone does at a least a small thing, a big change can be done. I'm not sure if I made my thoughts worth read, but it's how I think.

[-] natecox@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There is an awful lot of moralizing in huge essays here.

Homelessness is a complicated problem, and feeling confused, conflicted, or otherwise unsure is natural and probably wise. There is no clean, simple answer.

If you don’t want to give money to people on the street then you shouldn’t, regardless of what people here tell you. Instead, find a way to help that you feel more certain of. Maybe look for homeless shelters and programs local to you and go volunteer, that seems like a pretty safe option.

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[-] Leafeytea@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Anyone reading anything about San Francisco, especially in the last 10 years, knows that we have a massive problem with homelessness here so I won't bore people with the details...

That said, my view is simple: when asked, if I have, I give. End of story. It's not up to me to determine what, when, where, or how a homeless individual will spend money they obtain. There are literally entire legislative projects and tons of programs to help tackle those questions.

What I know is that for me as a human being, if I don't give help when help is requested, however small, I am not doing my part. So, when I pass someone asking if I can give them something, I do. I have also worked in social service non-profits for years, so contributing in different ways is just in my wheelhouse. No matter how awkward it feels, I remind myself that this person asking could be me at the slightest twist of fate.

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[-] kittenroar@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  1. Because I have transformed in a similar way and have wrestled with this exact issue.

  2. Those feelings are normal: capitalist social conditioning teaches us to dehumanize poor people, and since the voices which put these ideas in our heads are usually trusted entities like parents or grandparents, it's hard to shake them. The fact that you feel conflicted is good, it means you are unshackling your mind.

  3. Being homeless sucks. On the street, you are at the mercy of sociopaths, police harassment, and the elements. In shelters, you are constantly at risk of abuse and theft. If somebody feels they need to numb their mind to a life that has become a kind of hell, who the fuck am I to judge? Let's say I choose to give them food instead. What if they feel sick? What if they have a food allergy? Again, who am I to unilaterally decide what they should eat? The kindest thing to do is simply to give money, so they can get what they need, whether that's a cigarette, a tampon, some tylenol, a bottle of water, or whatever.

  4. I am partial to second thought. Richard Wolff is also worth watching.

Just want to add -- this post and the replies give me hope and make me glad I joined this instance.

[-] V699@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Even if you have money unless you have a job housing is hard to get. I'm currently living out of hotels because I'm unemployed and no one wants to rent to me.

[-] Los@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago

My family has opted to buy food on these occasions, maybe you should try that.

[-] Nougat@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

My brother-in-law has worked in homeless charity for a long time, not just on the front lines but as executive director, too. He told me that handing cash directly to someone on the street is something he never does, unless he knows that person personally from interacting with them at a shelter or in relation to some other support program. Folks can get so much more in terms of assistance and services if they're connected to a program. The programs run more efficiently, so your donations to a homeless charity will provide much more than a donation to an individual person. Finally, they want people to participate in these programs, so they can get people the support they need, not just in terms of housing and food, but mental health services, job training, all sorts of stuff.

You're right: make your donations to a charity of your choice, and go do some volunteer time, too.

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[-] Lionir@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago
  1. Why in God’s name did you actually read this whole thing?

I don't know

  1. Are these feelings normal or am I just a self-centered prick?

I think a lot of people hold these worries and prejudices so I'd say it's normal.

  1. What are your opinions on giving money to houseless people you just randomly meet?

I'm usually busy and don't have cash on me so I don't give money. What my grandpa used to do is that if someone asked money for food, he'd go buy the food with the person. This way, he'd be more likely to 'give' the money in an appropriate amount and he'd make sure that this person would not harm themselves with the money. It's something I've always been proud of from him.

[-] alottachairs@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Hello, I just want to add that it's not right to request the opinion of BIPOC people to provide information for you. If you want to know the opinion of BIPOC people, read the opinion of some, the resources are out there to learn and do the work. Why should we expect people, who can be repressed by a system to provide the burden of eduction of educating you about said system.

[-] N0_Varak@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

This is such an unapproachable take. Saying things like this really doesn't do anything to help, even if you believe it's true.

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this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
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Betterment and Praxis

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The community for cool things you've done out in the real world, or are doing in the real world!

Covers things like volunteer work, community gardens, political activism, organizing clubs and communities in your public circles, and all the information surrounding how to do that stuff. Also covers self-help and betterment, because to help your community it helps to help yourself!


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