Blåhaj Lemmy and its communities have certain rules regarding respecting of one's identity and their chosen pronouns. This extends to identities and pronouns you might not agree with. Those are the rules of that space. You broke the rules. The consequences followed. This is just basic stuff.

On the other hand, if you believe certain people to be trolling with their neopronouns, then engaging with the matter in any way, is kind of "falling" for it. So, just ... don't engage? This is the internet. People get to be (more or less seriously) humanoid animals, fantasy creatures and races, and if you can't get along with that, you can expect to get thrown out of a space that explicitly welcome anyone regardless of their identity or pronouns.

Why is it powertriping if you clearly broke the stated rules.

That’s like agreeing to a contract without any comolains and then complaining the contract is unfair if you break it.

Blahaj was never intended to be a free speech zone, it was intended to be the one place on the internet trans people feel safe, so they really don’t care what you think, it isn’t made for you.

That's what that post was about? The dragon fucker dude? I blocked him within a week of him existing because he was such an annoying person. I'm as much of a furry as any other socially maladjusted child raised by the internet but have some self control, dude.

“Gatekeeping” is an especially funny thing to accuse people of while you are gatekeeping.

YDI.

The post clearly said “respect people’s pronouns, this rule will be enforced” and everyone getting mod action clearly states in response that they have read and understood the rules, but fully intend to break them.

There are absolutely ways to say “hey Ada, I think your judgement of this particular user is wrong and I am concerned about the damage drag does by engaging in trollish behavior” without also saying “but I plan to misgender people anyway.” The ones getting banned here fail on both counts.

Now that everyone has had a chance to argue all day about this, I'm gonna lock this post so you can go touch grass.

I agree that Drag is a massive troll and that user has been banned from many instances over the past few months, including this one.

Maybe try leaving it up to the folks at blajah to decide what they want to be called and maybe just play along with it, even if you find it weird. "Normal" is so fucking boring anyway. If you really can't cope with occasionally coming across an unusual pronoun and being asked to simply accept it without having a meltdown, you probably don't belong on blajah anyway. Just move on.

The "gatekeeping" bans seem like a BPR to me given the context in which it was posted. Having said that, I don't entirely understand the rationale for blajah's rule, since the effect seems to be that you either need to be 100% behind fantasy neo-pronouns and identities (including drag? dragonfucker??) or cop a ban, but if that's how they want things then that's up to them. Not every space is for everyone, and diversity of communities and instances is mostly a good thing.

As far as our instance (dbzer0) goes, malicious/intentional misgendering of users is not permitted, similar to blajah. However, like others in this thread have argued, I agree that someone who literally identifies as a dragon fucker does not deserve to be taken seriously about anything, and it's entirely reasonable to simply assume the choice of pronouns is just another form of trolling. The context and drag's extensive mod history (along with previous alts) are important factors here too.

It's also concerning to me that people are being attacked and reported for being "bigots" or "anti-trans" in the comments just because they have hesitations over what are effectively contentious edge cases involving neo-pronouns and an infamous troll. I know for a fact that many of the commenters in this thread are very supportive of trans people, trans rights and respecting a person's chosen gender pronouns. They just have a problem with this particular dragon-fucker, not because Drag is trans, but because Drag is a narcissistic troll and a community wrecker who thrives on all the drama.

I'm leaving the comments intact for the record, but will add a CW below:

CW: possible misgendering in comments below, at least if you agree dragon fucker is a gender

I suppose I should thank everyone in this comment section. I was initially feeling a little like I might have overreacted to an admin making a decision that no one in their right minds would actually defend when I sadposted on 196 about leaving, but seeing the wellspring of support for dragonfuckergender, I now feel comfortable in that leaving Blahaj is, indeed, the correct choice.

I'm gonna be honest, y'all kinda fucking dumb lmao.

Let's say drag is a troll. If so, then drag's wanting you to do exactly what you're doing now. You have taken the bait, hook, line and sinker. Congrats! You're helping drag cause problems! To avoid taking the bait, you gotta use drag's pronouns. Do that, and there'll be no drama for drag to stir up.

If drag isn't a troll, then you're just being a dick and intentionally causing drama when you could just use drag's pronouns. By doing so, you'd make drag feel happy and accepted; which would be very progressive of you.

Soooooo..... By posting this, at best you're just feeding a troll and making other trans people question whether or not their pronouns will be respected (no, really, when cis people start drawing lines for trans people, I get extremely uncomfortable; it's not your place to do so, fuck right off), at worst you're being a piece of shit.

Edit: the fucking entitlement of cis people telling trans people how to run their spaces is sickening. I thought Lemmy was supposed to be fairly progressive, yet once again I'm being shown that cis people believe they deserve a voice in something that has nothing to do with them. You don't get to call yourself an ally when you question someone's validity.

You disgust me.

It'd be one thing if this admin said, 'because this is a hard line to draw, we're not going to, just roll with it.' But no: some extreme cases are promoted as obvious and unquestionable, to include emojis as pronouns, and - literally and unironically - "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter." That is among this admin's chosen positive examples.

It'd be one thing if questioning this do-it-or-else policy was limited to meta threads. But no: this is an admin thread, in their meta community, specifically about how this rule is contentious. It is not the first such thread. It is not even the first such thread specifically about a user everyone agrees is kind of a douche. Previously, the user in charge of Liberty Hub was removed and punished for not capitalizing some known dingus's pronouns, in the ban message.

It'd be one thing if any of this was limited, in any way. But no: it's every community, forever.

For responses walking on eggshells, trying to convey - maybe there's a reason this remains an issue. Maybe gender being a spectrum and a construct doesn't get everyone on-board with erasing comments for not calling someone a unicorn. Again: actual example, presented without irony.

Being told you're not allowed to address someone as "you" is a big fuckin' ask, in English. Being told you're not allowed to treat someone as human is just bewildering. But even that, you could get away with pushing, if your push was not straight off a cliff.

ShitJustWorks feels like the only instance that learned anything from reddit. Short bans change people's behavior. Long bans change people's... usernames.

Mod is definitely a dragon. We need to alert the elders

PTB. This has very much soured me on Blahaj Zone, unfortunately. Not a big loss for them, since I only occasionally posted there, but very saddening to me.