Spaceballs! When I was maybe 8 or 9.
I asked my mom "What's a 'virgin alarm' and what does it mean that it is programmed to go off before you do?" and she said ask me again in thirty years.
Reminds me, I forgot to ask her.
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Asklemmy
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I miss the days when silly slapstick was mixed with subtle adult humor to make a family film for all ages.
My youngest introduction to Mel Brooks was Robin Hood: Men in Tights. I never fully understood the chastity belt bits at first. Call the locksmith!
Your family's name is Latrine. We changed it, it used to be shithouse!
That's a good change. π That's a gooood change.
The Big Lebowski. I wasn't a teenager yet, barely understood why anything was happening but damned if it wasn't the hardest I'd seen my dad laugh.
This one ^
The physical comedy alone is gold, Also you won't leave their parents dealing with the nightmares like some of these movies...unless they really fear someone breaking in to piss on their rug.
Generally agree though I suppose it depends on how the parents feel about swearing and how likely the youngins are to repeat the approximately 700 fucks in the movie.
"Do you have to use so many cuss words?" "The fuck you talking about?"
That nightmare really tied the room together, man.
Probably Monty Python's Life of Brian
I was one of those Holy Grail kids, I loved the movie and memorized the lines. Wanting more, I looked up other Monty Python works
I was in 7th grade or something, raised in a very religious home. I was not expecting what Life of Brian was, and I know I wasn't old enough to understand all of the jokes they made
Hilarious movie
Nightmare on Elm Street. Don't think I was quite 10 yet.
Same, asked my mom if Freddy Krueger was real and she said " I guess he is..." She had no idea who that was and I lost my sleep for who knows how long :D
Same age, buying a Freddy glove for Halloween, asked my dad if we could rent it and he said yes. I was scared when the boyfriend pranked them in the backyard, but I thought the scene where she got cut to shreds and floated was awesome. I wanted to rewind and see it again and this time Dad said no. Wisely.
I thought Nancy was so hot!
Gremlins! Loved that movie as a kid haha π
I second this. Itβs lightly gory and morbid but mostly a comedy. And a cult classic that will help them feel βinβ when itβs referenced. But not too inappropriate for kids that age, in my opinion.
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Pan's Labyrinth
I saw Event Horizon on my 13th birthday in theaters with some of my friends.
Damn, that would have been a hell of film at that age.
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Way too many to list. It was the era of VHS and my father had a very large tape collection. I definitely saw movies I was not supposed to see.
Let's try a short list...
Emmanuelle
The Story of O
The Empire of Senses
Black Rain
The Rambo Trilogy
The Alien Trilogy
The Predator (1 & 2)
The Bridges of Maddison County
The Blue Lagoon
That will do....
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Re: Shining
Mom dropped me off at the movies to see Star wars (again). As I walk in the screen showed elevators doors open and a waterfall of blood pour out. I found an usher because I thought I was in the wrong room.
Trailers, man.
They put that scene in the trailer? Man, way to blow your load early trailer people.
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RoboCop, the Alien movies, Hellraiser. Honestly a lot of the old Jean Claude van Damme movies are fairly hardcore for kids, looking back. Probably a lot of movies because I was allowed to stay up until whenever on weekends from pretty young.
I didn't realize it until now, but same for me. That scene where the toxic sludge man disintegrated after being hit by a car haunted me. Actually, it was how he was calling for help that did it. I realize this is counter to OP's question, haha.
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I read the Godfather when I was about 10. My shoebox diorama was the horse head on the bed. It was frowning because it didn't like having its head cut off.
Trainspotting. I do feel like it kept me away from drugs though.
Choose a life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... Choose DSY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away in the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself, choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
"It's shite being Scottish. We're the lowest of the low. Some people hate the English. The English are just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonised by wankers. We can't even find a decent civilization to be colonised by. It's a shite state of affairs and all the fresh air isn't going to change any of that, Tommy."
That was from memory, let's see how I did!
"It's shite being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low! The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash, that was shat into civilisation! Some people hate the English, I don't! They're just wankers! We, on the other hand, are colonised by wankers! Can't even find a decent culture to be colonised by! We're ruled by effete assholes! It's a shite state of affairs to be in Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!"
Not too bad after a few decades.
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Trainspotting at 11
I won tickets from the radio to see the premiere of Seven when I was 12. Glad I saw such a high quality high impact thriller so early. Watching Pitts character struggle with his decision at the end and trying to work out if his choice was right. Or consider the possibility there was no such a thing as a right choice. Amazing experience.
That being said, I wouldn't recommend that 12 year olds go see Seven.
I was gonna answer Grave of the fireflies, which I watched in my twenties. Then I read the 'but you're glad that you did' so I can't say that movie.
But maybe Fullmetal Jacket? Tough movie for a 14 year old
I watched Full Metal Jacket this year at 34 and it was still pretty rough.
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Hellraiser? Phantasm?
Killer Klowns from Outer Space. I was in kindergarten and had a very inattentive babysitter.
Boy, that movie will seriously stick with you when your typical fare was Barney related. It's really the grounding for me having any memories of that period of my life at this point, lol.
Terminator 2 was fucking sick. I was like ten. It raised my standards for how cool a movie could be.
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It depends on the 9 and 11 year old, but I saw Interview With The Vampire when it came out when I was 10, and I read the book at 12...
Are the nieces interested in spooky shit, or scifi, or fantasy? That might help you refine your picks.
Good recc! Yeah they're both pretty morbid. The older one is going to have a goth phase, no doubt. The younger one wants as many details as she can get on whatever true crime stories I know. Which is a lot.
I had to hide my EMT training book from her because she was so curious about the pictures. She wants to be a cop.
I can't believe I forgot about that gay goth masterpiece. They'll love Interview With The Vampire.
Wednesday might be a good show to watch with them, if they haven't already seen it.
They LOVE Wednesday. Used that to show them Edward scissorhands etc.
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Saving private ryan at 13 was a bit horrific. The slow knife scene....
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[off topic?]
Ever seen 'Time Bandits?' The original, not the one with Kudrow
There's nothing particularly nsfw in it, but I think a couple of young girls would find it very cool.
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