this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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badposting

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Banning all people from all bathrooms anprim-pat

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[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Banning gender neutral bathrooms would be the funniest way to instantly kill tons of small local businesses across the country. The kinds of businesses who have only one bathroom because that's all they have space for. Imagine the government forces them all to install a second bathroom just to comply with this ridiculous mandate that bathrooms cannot be gender neutral. Most of them would just shut down.

Alternatively make every bathroom single stall with a sign on the door corresponding to a list of genders. You just select the gender you want that bathroom to be for before entering. Technically not gender neutral anymore! It's a gender fluid bathroom!

[–] axont@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah I could see businesses doing stuff like during prohibition where you'd be brought a sandwich that was prepared days ago and then it's taken away after 3 seconds just so the bar qualified as a restaurant instead. Maybe a spinny sign? Maybe depending on how a ban would be implemented there's like a curtain three inches from the door that you open that would technically separate the bathroom into two rooms.

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

Banning pissing

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But who’s going to keep this one wet? bathroom

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Loudly declare, "this is not a toilet" as you piss on Thatcher's grave to own the prescriptivists

[–] SovietBeerTruckOperator@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Just shitting your pants like in Harry Potter

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Or Alan Shepard!

[–] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

As a janitor, my expert opinion is that public bathrooms should be banned altogether.

Every fucking Monday, I come to work and people have sprayed diarrhea fucking everywhere except in the god damn toilet. Every fucking week, someone breaks a seat because they seem to actually stand on the ring and hover their asses over the toilet when they shit.

Just please, don't use public toilets. Why can't you just think ahead and shit at home before you go out?

Also, stop throwing wet wipes in the toilets.

[–] The_sleepy_woke_dialectic@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Counterpoint, bathroom cops who inspect the toilet after you and if you destroyed it you have to go clean it yourself. They also make you wash your hands.

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sounds like something yeonmi-park would make up about the DPRK

I would unironically support handwashing cops

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] REgon@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

hst-gun Is that a shit in your pants?

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

I'm all out cap'n

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

As an urban planner I am of the opinion there is not enough public bathrooms. Nor are there enough janitors. When I become Stalin this meme will be reality
wojak-nooo "I thought I was gonna write poetry" xi-gun "get in ~~mines~~ janitorial mech"

Also anyone who throws wet wipes in the toilet is sent to the gulag

There will also be a dedicated toilet for wall-shitters and if you shit on a wall you are only allowed to use that toilet. And when I write "a toilet" I do mean one

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

I would like to personally apologize for this. I don't hover, but one time I didnt make it in time and my ass exploded before I could press flesh to porcelain

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Anarcho-primitivism, but only the parts that involve public defecation

[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

public bathrooms are communism. the government is telling small businesses who can use their toilets. we need to ban public bathrooms and allow private citizens to enter into mutual contracts of exchange. the culture war issue is just a red herring for the issue of individual liberty.

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

I put a quarter into my ass and shit

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Banning people from using bathrooms corresponding to their gender identity, but it applies to cis people too

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah I didn't know how to phrase it

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Consider your pants peed

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

american ruling class forcing us all to piss ourselves and get infected by a dozen diseases

Soviet futurists in control, ubiquitous skafandr wearing by 2030 cyber-lenin

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

https://document.wikireading.ru/hFtWPSQLTA

Spacesuit with interesting etymology that gets translated poorly by Google Translate

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

Bathrooms should be for silent contemplation, crying, browsing hexbear and NOTHING ELSE. NO POOPING NO PEE