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There's a quote attributed to William Levitt, a guy who is also credited as "the father of American suburbia", that goes like this: "No man who owns his own house and lot can be a communist. He has too much to do."
Here is a source I could find on the quote: https://time.com/archive/6598189/suburban-legend-william-levitt/
(though warning, from what I skimmed of it, it seems to be one of those overly flattering bourgeoisie portrayals)
I feel this deep down.
My family and I live in a subdivision in suburbia. Single-family homes with ridiculous setback requirements from our sidewalkless road. We know our immediate neighbors and that’s about it. There’s the old lady with the tiny dog, whose son’s family lives down the hill and complains that she sees us more than them. And there’s the retirees who use the house as their “weekend house” while taking long bike rides around the area. And then there are people in our subdivision I have never seen, outside of them mowing their lawn and at our annual HOA meetings — which is its own cruel joke of an organization.
Most suburbanites are fearful people. I may not see my neighbors outside, but they make themselves seen on our neighborhood Facebook group. “Did anyone hear that loud boom?” “I’m at home with the kids and there’s TWO DOGS OUTSIDE” “This package was delivered here. If it’s yours you can pick it up from our porch.” The weirdest posts are the ones that assume our neighborhood has a community identity. Like the time a huge construction dumpster was placed outside of someone’s house instead of to the neighborhood that has a similarly spelled name, “Lol this could only happen in our neighborhood 😂😂😂” Call our neighborhood a community all you want. It’s not going to change the fact that you drive your car around the loop to visit the other wine moms.
We have a pond in the middle with a path that I maintain between visits from a contracted landscape company. When we moved in years ago an old guy did most of the maintenance. He was nice and I liked helping him out, but he moved away. No one really complains about the path when I don’t have time to mow it or trim back bushes. In fact sometimes other people mow it on their own. Most of the time they tear ruts into the mud or mow it as short as a golf course green, all of which makes walking on it difficult for awhile. They could reach out to me about it, and I could reach out to them. But it never happens.
I’ve sent emails to see if anyone wants to help out. I’ve tried to organize clean up days. Enthusiastic responses every time. Zero turn out. It’s fine though. I don’t mind doing it, neither does my partner. The community garden the developers of the neighborhood built is basically my second garden. And if someone’s gotta eat the black berries and mulberries along the path it might as well be me.
Sometimes I honestly feel like we’re the only family who goes outdoors. I’m sure when our neighbors drive by and see my family and I hanging out in the front yard on lawn chairs with a kiddie pool and sidewalk chalk and toys everywhere they think we’re Cousin Eddie.
Your last part reminds me of my childhood friend where my group of friends and I used to high out at in high school. He lives in a ridiculously large villa in a post neighborhood. We were outside playing some soccer and we had the cops called on us lol. Someone reported a disturbance in the neighbourhood.
I tell you what, the cops never showed up when dealers and crack heads terrorized my hood lol.
Be outside. It is good for you and your family.
I probably shouldn't be comparing the situation here in Europe to the USA, because even our worst suburbs here are probably not as bad as US ones, but i recently moved from a small suburb (what we would call here a village, but really it's a residential suburb just outside of the city) to the city and it was the best choice i ever made.
I immediately felt this immense liberation. I'm finally within walking distance of grocery shopping (the only shop i had nearby before was a bakery since those things are basically mandatory in this country) and pretty much everything else i need as far as services. Not needing a car anymore for every little errand feels great, and so does having good public transportation just around the corner (if only it wasn't so expensive...). Of course there was some public transportation in the suburbs because this is still Europe after all, but it was not great; i'd have to take a not-always-so-reliable bus into the city itself to get any useful connections...
Plus, i'm now surrounded by people who are predominantly of immigrant background and i have never felt more comfortable. It's not the most well off neighborhood but i don't feel unsafe in any way, even at night (i like to take walks around the block in the evening and it's mostly pretty well lit). And my new neighbors are some of the nicest people i've ever met.
Where i lived before it was full of petty bourgeois and upper middle class NIMBY type assholes who could never mind their own business and would constantly treat you like an outsider, you'd feel like they were always looking out their window about to call the cops on you as soon as you trimmed your grass or parked your car the wrong way.
And the biggest surprise of all, even the rent and other costs of living like utilities (especially heating and water) are cheaper for me now, and that's with basically the same size apartment as before. And there's a ton of great and reasonably cheap takeout places just a ten to fifteen minute walk away. So yeah, fuuuck the suburbs.
Only thing i'm missing is some nature, since there was a forest just at the end of the street i lived on before. But i know there's a nice big park on the other side of the city i've been meaning to go to.
Oh, and the parking is a pain the butt, but that's a small price to pay. More incentive for walking.
Yes it sucks
Rural living gets you space at the cost of access
Urban living gets you access at the cost of space
Suburban living gives you neither space nor access
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
In the same boat, I'm stick here even though I'm miserable here, suburbia is awful on so many levels
I'd like to move to a city some day because I like cities but I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to afford to move away from here
You've communicated well and are understood, comrade.