Anon was (and still is) in a coma.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
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that lamp…
Anon's mom performed a git merge.
Anon kissed his mom
Looks like she rebased and changed the history
nah, a rebase would mean he got to the end of summer and started another summer back up again
Rebase would mean only one of those two things is real and true in the history, and it's whatever the last thing was. The other one has no SHA or commits in history anywhere anymore and is essentially erased whenever the gitlog does a gc.
Merging is correct I believe (at least in this context), as you alluded to. But a rebase means only one version of summer exists, not another summer. And there's no record of that first summer ever existing after a -f push.
It's some sort of a disassociative childhood trauma that we put up inside ourselves to either forget something horrible, traumatic or just generally depressive.
I grew up poor in my Indigenous family and everywhere I turned from the moment I was born, there was near constant tragedy and trauma. And if it wasn't happening around me, people were also remarking, remembering or recalling even more horrible things from the past. On top of that, I basically attended one or more funerals for friends, family or close relatives every single year of my life until I was 20 and left home. I saw funerals for old people, middle aged people, adults, teenagers, children and babies. Add to that the reality of knowing that as a kid, everything was kind of OK but I knew that as an adult I would be completely on my own and would have to do something while living in a world that probably didn't want me because I was just another 'Indian'.
By the time I was about 12 - 13 a switch went off in my head that basically said ... 'OK let's turn everything off and just run on auto pilot for a while' ... it's a coping mechanism to just forget and disassociate from everything and everyone and just go on living without really thinking about anything. I have entire years of my teenage life that are just black empty periods with no memory. I still have family and friends who come up to me to say 'hey, remember that time you did that amazing thing?', 'you jumped from a high dive at the lake', 'you did an amazing jump with a dirt bike and crashed and flipped a million times', 'you played hockey with so and so and you guys won a tournament' .... entire periods of my life that are just blank, empty and lost. Sometimes I think really hard and look back and its like trying to recall a TV show or movie I saw 30 years ago and just remember an image or two but nothing about what the movie was about.
I've never been diagnosed with anything or ever seen a doctor or psychiatrist about any of this ... never had the time or the money or the access to see one. By the time I could afford it all, I had pretty much dealt with my inner (and outer) demons in my life to be able to live with it all. Alcoholism was another problem I had to deal with and AA, NA, Al-Anon and years of being part of support groups really helped a lot. And I've seen the same thing with so many people like me that I grew up with and so many other young Native people I see today.
Huh, that description of a disassociated childhood sounds a lot like my memories of my childhood, growing up poor with a broken/drug addled family. Definitely would explain a lot...
Holy shit, that explains why I have a really, weirdly, strong memory but can't really remember much before being 20.
I'm in a similar situation. It gets to a point where time just deals with these things.
Good job on the alcohol. I never got that bad but got close a few times. Craving alcohol at 0630 was a wakeup call for me.
Your description of the disassociation you went through as a kid mirrors exactly what happened to me. Around the same age, I consciously just shut off. Stopped caring about anything or anyone. Then very slowly over the next few years intentionally but cautiously let things back in. I also have no memory of my childhood really. Just a couple flashes and images. If someone describes something, I can sometimes vaguely remember that it happened but no more details beyond that.
Thank you for sharing. I always really appreciate learning more about your life, because it has been so different from mine. Thank you also for your contributions to lemmy in general.
That's really interesting. I'm glad it sounds like the situation is better now.
I wonder if that was your brain going on auto pilot, or just turning off memory making? Like I wonder if you would have known at the time anything was different.
Memory is a liar. It feels when you're accessing it like it is reliable. It is not. Eyewitness testimony frequently has people who adamantly remember stuff that didn't happen. They tried it with those famous events where people always remember where they were when so-and-so happened. They got a population of people, found out where they were when the shocking world event had happened, and then they asked them a long time later and a lot of people's vivid memories of where they were, were just bullshit their brain made up for them.
You can actually create false memories in people that will feel completely real, if you know how to do it, and they'll remember both the process of you implanting the false memory, and then this fake memory that they 100% remember as if it had happened.
The brain just stores hints and mostly-important stuff, and for the rest it just makes shit up as it goes along so you can get on with your day and won't become upset because you don't remember. But it's like an LLM. It just makes up nonsense if it doesn't know the answer, and to you it feels 100% real.
Yep. Memory is really silly. It's why journaling is important. But journaling itself can be deceiving if one isn't recording truths or is leaving out critical components.
I often wonder what the world would become if we had technology that auto journaled and was immutable. Would we be still so easily be led astray or would we contort ourselves in some other way to cling to our biases and cognitive distortions.
Journaling is also incredibly subjective, but there is nothing to beat firsthand experience from the moment itself. I've got a terrible memory and always wish I had a better habit of journaling so that I could actually remember things that happen...
We're a self-replicating petri-dish neural network grown for millions-billions of years out of evolution from discarded bits of virus data, damage and sheer luck.
We come up with how we think the world works and our brains fill in the gaps to make it true. We had to create the scientific method because we're so intensely impressionable and pattern matching that we can't get shit right without rigorous checks.
We're even pretty sure we don't remember things as much as we remember the last time we remembered it and reconstruct that.
There was a whole "satanic panic" and a slew of "ritual child abuse" a few decades ago that was (almost?) entirely based on false memories caused by poor questioning.
People who vividly remember being taken to non-existent places and abused, while they were demonstrably elsewhere. And other people going to jail for it.
What if they only have false memories of being imprisoned due to the Satanic Panic though?
All correct, lots of interesting psychology articles on this and even a documentary about it iirc (like implanting getting lost in a mall as a child.) I teach confirmation bias in one of my classes and some of it is also just misremembering things to fit a narrative you want to believe.
What's funny to me while I learned about it is that I don't seem to do this fill-in-the-gaps misremembering stuff. I just don't remember shit. What I do remember is vague and undetailed, though, and kind of easy to prove in the sense that vague memories could be all sorts of things (like crying but not remembering why). It's like all a blur until college, lol.
My guess is my shitty childhood was traumatic, or I'm neurologically atypical (and given how weird I am, probably both). It doesn't help I get conflicting stories from parents though.
My memory is like that too, extremely vague. Have you heard of SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory)?
Good thought, but I'm not sure since I can imagine things pretty well in my mind if it's something from adulthood (and maybe a few from late teens). I think I just don't think about things enough to retain those neural connections, maybe. It's not like people are trying to implant memories, either.
The two are often connected (aphantasia and SDAM) but not necessarily so. It's also possible it's not related at all, but I just wanted to bring it up since your experience doesn't sound like what I usually hear as the norm from most people.
now that you mention it, i am similar to you; i cannot remember shit. i remember singular moments that are burned in, and the rest is like i watched a movie at 10x speed, like a smear. my childhood was traumatic too. my memories get clearer at about 21, but it's still just singular moments and the rest is mud.
That’d be kind spooky if it wasn’t all bullshit.
If its true my guess is it happened across 2 different years and their crappy kid memory conflated the two.
Could also be they were only at the summer camp for a couple of weeks or whatever and kid brain with poor concept of time confused the timelines
Yeah, this seems the most likely (assuming it's true). I can't place the exact time period of any of my childhood memories. I can easily see getting two summers mixed up hah
Hardly just childhood memories tbh. Plenty of things was that 2018 or 2019? Not that sticking an exact date on it really matters
Well it had happened to me as child once, I mixed memories of two summers, maybe something similar happened to anon
This is the kind of timetravel story I want to see
Add anal and I'll watch
Edging of Tomorrow
Live, Nut, Repeat
This one time, at band camp, I stuck a powered combat exoskeleton in my pussy.
The Goonies
(No modifications needed)
I bet she lives in Canada, too. Eh?
/s