Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.
Since Lemmy has gained a bit more traction in Finland recently, I started writing a guide in Finnish that will later be published on my blog. The structure is as follows:
Thank you for your service!
I started the week very sleepy lol.
Met cool people at a queer event last Saturday. Tried to keep in touch but I had a panic attack when I went to message one of them and it put me off trying again for several days. Couldn't sleep for a few days so that made it worse. Finally managed to text the one I really wanted to talk to but I guess I took too long because they never replied. I don't feel like I can ever be around people.
I guess I'm still recovering from leaving my old friend group. Not bad people, but neurodivergent in a way I'm too socially incompetent for. Yesterday I flubbed my words and accidentally expressed the wrong sentiment, and I immediately felt the panic wash over me, because last time I did that, I caused a friend to have a nervous breakdown and start like... rewriting his childhood memories to match what I accidentally said, since it contradicted his lived experience.
Friendship is so high stakes, I always feel like if I say the wrong thing I'm going to ruin someone's life. I hate being lonely but I don't know how people can stand it.
That's wild that someone had such a strong reaction to something you said. But you should really try not to put that on yourself. If you spend time with people who are self assured, they are not going to have that kind of reaction. Yes, it's nice to do our best to try to make the people around us feel at ease, but genuinely trying is the best you can do. If your best isn't good enough for someone, that's when you move on and hopefully find people who are a better fit. I know that's easier said than done since you're dealing with some past trauma around friendships, but I hope you're able to find your people.
last time I did that, I caused a friend to have a nervous breakdown and start like… rewriting his childhood memories to match what I accidentally said, since it contradicted his lived experience
I think maybe you've figured this out already, but that really is more about the other person than it is about you. I guess we really can't say without knowing all the details, but I can't imagine anything you would have said that would justify that response. You need friends that go to therapy. lol
I'm glad I live somewhere that's never had daylight savings. The concept still perplexes me.
I've been having fun with comics again. It's been way too long since I've spent several hours a day reading them. Unfortunately, it appears my fatigue doesn't like that too much, so there are many breaks necessary, otherwise I burn out.
Still, it's nice.
My parents were away in Flordia visiting some family while they still could so I had the house to myself. It was wonderful. No tv noises, no news, no political talk, no constant misunderstanding/misinterpreting each other. It was peaceful. They got back last Saturday so it's back to the same old routine.
I also had a vasectomy while they were gone so it was nice to have some quiet time while I recovered. The pain is practically gone now and soon I'll forget it even happened. Happy to have gotten it done. Feels like a lifelong weight had been lifted off my back.
The birds are starting to return. I can hear the mourning doves in the morning now. I'm looking forward to the return of our pigeon family that like to nest in our balcony planters. They've been returning for years now and we think the children have also started nesting in our other planters. Thankfully they are super chill around us so they usually just watch us when we are out on the balcony.
Another week of having things look up and then not going anywhere. I think I have a trajectory; this would not be the first time the timing was off. So now I await whether I run out of money or not. Historically, the universe steps in on deadline.
I had my worldview change a bit today, which is a weird feeling! But I don't really know what to do with this new perspective or what it means going forward.
Interesting! If you feel like sharing, what changed?
Sure, I apologize as it might sound a bit negative. I came to the realization that it is increasingly unlikely that I will be able to live the same way my parents did from their mid 20's to 50's.
So I either need to reduce the amount of work I do, live a very simple life, and really try to milk as much out of life as I can.
Or I just keep trying to "win" at the rat race. But I don't have confidence in that. I think something clicked and really solidified the idea after watching this video (it's long) https://youtu.be/9GumiLIxLMM
In a way, this felt liberating because I have lived with a lot of guilt wondering why I am not good enough, smart enough, hard working enough. But it also made me realize I need to set my expectations in life even lower. That part I'm struggling with as I wanted to travel one day. Not sure if it's possible. But maybe!
That makes sense. I try my best not to have too many expectations for the future because you never know what life is going to throw at you, good or bad, and random chance can have a big impact on how things turn out. Having goals can be helpful, but it's good to be realistic about what's required to achieve those goals and what can potentially get in the way in order to decide if those goals are worth pursuing.
I hear you on the time change woes! I'm from the US and I'm a contractor for a company in the UK, so all of our shift times are based on GMT/BST... Well, the the UK (and most of Europe as far as I understand) doesn't start daylight savings time until the 30th.
So now all of my shift times are an hour ahead for a couple of weeks, and its incredibly disorienting. I don't even bother moving my alarms an hour ahead because then I'll forget to move them back and then I'll definitely be late...
I have logged into my lemmy account after a year because I need somewhere new to scream about how much I hate visiting San Francisco for work. Like people don't get it. I've been to the Japan Center too many times at this point to escape i don't feel anything anymore
I had my birthday this week. The saddest birthday ever. But apart from that, nice! How are you?
Aww :( well happy birthday! I hope things get better
Found out I have to move fairly rapidly and my dad got laid off, unfortunately logistically moving back in with him won't work so I have a lot of stuff to figure out, but trying to take it all in stride. Time change certainly doesn't help lol!
I'm a grump this week. Really shoulda removed the uterus when I had the chance.
Edit: I also love SpaceHey. I made my profile to be Tina Horse Girl infauated with BUTTS from Bob's Burgers.
I also love SpaceHey. I made my profile to be Tina Horse Girl infauated with BUTTS from Bob's Burgers.
I kind of miss when MySpace was essentially the least terrible social network we had.
It had a myriad of problems inherent in social networks (some extremely serious), but it was a veritable paradise compared to the pure anger and outrage that fills social media these days.
The weather's been nice and I bought a new dirt bike, street legal, so I've just been having a blast riding it everywhere for no reason just yesterday or two days ago now I put 240 miles on it.
I have made serious steps to retreat from .world and maybe .ee. It's too busy and starts to feel to redditish and draining. I hope your internal clock is fixed by now :)
Good week so far. Applying for grants and jobs, ditching Windows entirely and going with Pop_Os, reading a ton of history books just for fun.