proof straight relationships can be cool.

Compared to the love between Morticia and Gomez, it's no wonder everything else in the world seems so miserable to them.

the other answer is "no, I wish, but she has arthritis."

“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”

"If I'm lucky!"

Not really into that thing myself, but it gets a great reaction.

“I gotta go, my wife is home”

“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”

"Jim, you confide in me regularly you are painfully lonely. The last woman you took out on a date ghosted you after you started ordering her around like a misogynistic asshole because you watch garbage on tiktok about the 'alpha male' fallacy and treat it like a guide to life. Under your bravado is a scared man-child that worries they'll be alone forever. The worst part is that that fear is real unless you do some honest introspection really fucking fast and realize you are your own worse enemy in this. You've got about 3 years left to get your shit together before most of the loving, intelligent, and self-confident women get snatched up in marriages of their own. Its not the world's fault you are in this situation, its yours buddy. You've made choices in the past that put you here and 30 seconds ago you made another one with your shitty joke trying to belittle my loving relationship with my wife because you're envious I have a person that cares about me and you don't. Seriously man, its a bad look. You have the capacity to be better than that. You gonna finish those nachos or can I take them with me? Oh, I'll see you Saturday for the game."

Well, excuse me for marrying someone who's company I enjoy. Maybe I should have married someone how would make me miserable, like you...

While sitting you slap your hands down to your knees give out a long “Welllllll” as you stand up and say

I’d love to introduce you to her but I gotta get home to the wife

lie with as much narrative and dramatic potential as I possibly can, and hope they follow up. maybe something that, when they find out, will just stun them with pure bleakness.

I mean at a subconscious level, they have feelings for each other -- a good chunk of the show is them dancing around that concept. That being said, all they both know is that it's a marriage of convenience -- neither knows the full identity of the other.

Yor constantly worries she won't measure up to Loid's needs, and that's a risk to government scrutiny by the secret police. Loid worries his relationship with Yor doesn't look airtight, and could compromise Operation Strix. Everything they do publicly to prove their relationship is legit is an act in which any enjoyment is a secondary benefit (like the scene above).

responsibility to yourself is not socially important. responsibility to others, and their ability to hate you for failing, comes off as much more substantial. bonus points if they aren't someone who can be reached to explain something to, effectively beyond the reach of someone making an argument.

this echoes nothing else terrible in our culture, and I'm not sure whether it's the vulnerability to this reasoning or the institutions based on it that came first.