this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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The Onion

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OTTAWA – With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic collapse and then buy the nation on the cheap.

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[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 20 points 2 weeks ago

We don't want it. Too many Americans in it.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yes please! American here, and I'd just LOVE to be part of Canada!

But hey.....maybe we don't include the states that once had legalized slavery.

Also Florida. Let's leave Florida out of this.

[–] Oyml77@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No fair! Some of us in the Sunshine State want to be Canadian too!

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, but....look around you......just look.......yeah. That's why.

[–] Oyml77@lemmy.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

We're not all bad. But, yeah, there's a lot of trash down here.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Southern states can finally become their own stupid, racist Confederate states and fly their racist flag.

[–] goferking0 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Plus universal Healthcare!

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Stop! Please! I can only get SO erect!

[–] DarkSirrush@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think we would be better off calling it the 4th territory, not the 11th province myself.

Actually no, make Alaska the 4th territory, and the rest of the US the 5th, just to rub salt in the wounds.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think America is better not calling canada an entire state

[–] DarkSirrush@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh for sure, its such a bad joke it doesn't even swing back to being funny.

At the rate he's tanking things over there though, Canada might be able to buy a fair amount of territory once the guillotines come out though.

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

New York, Oregon, Washington, and California could just join now.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yes please!!!

[–] zabadoh@ani.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

Socialized healthcare alone would be a boon to the economy

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I might post this to Nextdoor.com and see who bites. Money says it sparks absolute outrage.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

The dick-shooting has been real. Canada massively depends on the US, and US tariffs against Canada are devastating, but look at the CAD vs USD graph. Yes, Canada is taking damage, but the US is doing so much damage to itself that the Canadian dollar keeps climbing.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

You guys mean Norte Norte Califrifornia? The northern most part of Mexico? Purchased for a Big Mac and a Mc Flurry....after all Mexicans were deported to Mexico, president Trump and owner Felon sold the country for just one more taste....fucking heck!!!! The president yelled at the great owner Felon...they forgot my ketchup!

Si señor, that'll be a Guam for ketchup.