Sounds like the perfect opportunity to have the adult conversation about what constitutes a socially acceptable number of cows to have in your house. It's a very important conversation.
this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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My dad used to live in the country, and a single cow got into a semi-abandoned old ranch hand house. (We assume some one left the door open. It was in there for a day or so.
That cow absolutely wrecked the place. Walls kicked in, windows smashed (frame and all), floors ripped up, table in 2 pieces, just an absolute disaster. Also, the poop.
So. ONE COW. If unsupervised.
Indoor cows obviously require more supervision than outdoor cows. That's just common sense.
Get a donkey instead
That dog knows the donkey is in charge
Not every cow is suitable to be an indoor cow. They all have different temperaments like any other pet. Most cows do better outside or in a barn.
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I'm sure we all remember when our parents had the talk with us about this.
That's why we all check for creepers hiding on our roof before we go outside...
Torches everywhere
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I recall being told something about two cows...
1 is very weird, 5 is totally crazy, 80 is derangement.
Is 2 weirder than 1? I feel like that would make more sense...
But when does the "parabola-of-acceptable-amount-of-cows-in-a-house" top out?
Asking for a friend of course...
1 is acceptable when you're a medieval peasant.
2-4 is never OK.
5+ is fine, but it turns the house into a barn.
Very true, after a certain number of cows they stop being inside your house and you start being inside their barn lol
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This is where you have a talk about griefing and consent before the 5yo turns into an open world PvP advocate
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The 5-year-old probably thought it was hilarious. I think the answer is to fill the 5-year-old's house with 80 chickens.
He'd probably think that'd be hilarious too. Win-win.
And it's just fun to throw stacks of eggs at everything in sight. Makes you feel rich these days.
Set up a trap that starts a massive chicken farm with egg dispensers that causes the game to lag whenever the chicken chunk is loaded.
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Lmao this has the same energy as me learning about the concept of loaning money for interest at the same age and deciding to put it in action by lending my brother bells in Animal Crossing and deciding that he needed to pay me back twice what I had lent him, a fact that I only informed him of after I gave him the money. We had a big fight about it and our mom had to get involved. Good times lol.
What was the loan period?
Sounds more like you were a loan shark.
I hadn't learned about repayment periods or anything I just said he had to pay me back double, I didn't think about interest rates or anything but yeah I definitely was a loan shark.
Well it's good your mom was the judge, interest that high is criminal
With fees capped at 14% and interest capped at 35% APR, a doubling could still be legal if they have 2 years to repay, especially with frequent compounding.
Not that children have the patience to wait 2 years for a return on their investment, though.
Assuming the cows are causing a lot of lag, so he's upset that he can't clear them out and play the game
The obvious solution then is just using a command to kill the cows.. and probably tell the other kid not to do that again x3
I remember when alpha 1.8 was released and mobs would drop enchanting XP as multiple orbs worth one point each. It was fine for cows, but killing even a moderately high level player would drop thousands of orbs and basically implode reality in a radius of several chunks. Good times.
That ultra-amplified TINK, I can still hear it echo along with the gut-drop of anxiety wondering if my cheap laptop was going to keep up or crash out... Good times, genuinely.
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This is an opportunity to teach them about the command line, so they can use their powers for revenge.
80 cows? Ha! How about 8,000 cows!
I read that in the cadence of "500 cigarettes" from the orville
Fr.
execute as @e[type=cow] at @s run summon cow ~ ~ ~
EXPONENTIAL COWS!
The obvious solution then is just using a command to kill the cows.. and probably tell the other kid not to do that again x3
Ohhh, I thought the obvious solution was to just keep throwing more server resources at it in Proxmox LMAO
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Make a pen outside the house, cut a hole in the house to let the cows out, free farm.
Assuming they're playing on a device that can handle 80 cows yes :3
If they're playing bedrock on a tablet or something it may need to be downscaled a bit
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My oldest and his buddies used to dig extensive tunnels under their friends "houses" (more like gigantic palaces of the flashy kind), filled those tunnels to the brim with explosives and just for shit and giggles blew up the estates above.
Medieval war tactics rediscovered by preteens. My inner historian held several celebrations.
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TIL: 5 year old kids play Minecraft.
I guess they need a break from all that GTA griefing
Even younger. The touch screen version is easy enough for a 4 year old or maybe younger, depending on what you constitute "playing".
Now I think about it, I'm certain I've had this conversation, except it was cats not cows.
It's a whole business, selling skins and other "resource packs" aimed to kids.
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Free meat and leather
My 5yo would have put them there then set them on fire
/kill @e
That should fix it.