All spam should be responded to in kind.
this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.
"small boulder" just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀
I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I'd just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.
That's actually a large boulder; it's just the size of a small boulder.
I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
We won't ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.
Got any Carlos?
I fart in the envelopes then they are like 'yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!'
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When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.
I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls... They called me back lol
Well... Did they suck your balls?
Unfortunately no
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We can do that?
Do I just take it to the post office?
It wouldn't surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.
This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight... Please don't do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility...
This ... feels like you are telling me to go for it.
Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it's just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it's a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.
No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won't deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.
Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.
I'ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.
You'd just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.
If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit
Even better, print some anti-empire propaganda.
Give the low-level employee some ideas to quit giving their life to the empire.
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Friendly reminder.
Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.
Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.
Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.
Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?
Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can't be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?
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This wouldn't work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.
You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.
You'd just be annoying some data entry employee.
Wasting their time is wasting their money.
Plus it helps the post office!
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A lot of reply paid stuff for large corporations is calculated on weight not on item count, depending on the sorting system used by the country/region in question so this might work sometimes but it depends on a lot of variables.
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IF you're going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn't sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm
Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I've been needing to get rid of.
If it wasn't shitty towards the post office people I would support it.
But under 10 lbs...
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Reminds me of a webcomic I used to read where the mad scientistesque physics student realized he could use the lead bricks he'd been using to prop open doors for exactly this purpose.
I just put another company's junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.
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