cw: sex, butt stuff
Well, first time bottoming (anal) didn't exactly work out. We couldn't really get it in, although I didn't expect to take much more than the head so that's okay. All my toys are tapered, and I don't really know how to take a rounded head.
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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spoiler
Could so some pre-work with the toys to loosen you up to the appropriate size, and it should be okay
Most of my friends are away this weekend for various reasons and i feel lonely
You (yes, you) can help me cope with this by replying so I get a notification dopamine hit
gotten a lot better at resonance control! but only at quiet volumes. when i try to raise my voice so people can actually hear me it kind of falls apart
I am currently witnessing what I can only describe as a straight pride parade. Just, legions of scantily clad women in black leather boots marching across the field. Followed by legions of loud and drunk frat boys blowing those birthday whistle things at cyclists.
oh god do I have to skip this entire thread this week to avoid spoilers?
Edit: yes
lonely
Irl friend who I wanted to hang out with this week, didn't happen. I don't know when I'll see her next. She said she wanted to and hasn't been working, I offered to pay... how doesn't that happen :/
Online friend who I asked to use my name. Haven't talked since. It was awkward and I didn't like it anyway. There just is no way for someone to refer to me I'm comfortable with. That's why I haven't told my irl friend my name.
I have been drifting from my other online friends too. Nothing like it used to be. That's (largely) my fault for never having anything to say. Another consequence of the pain.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for other people. I feel broken. Also, to make this all worse, I've really been wishing I had a partner recently. I know that can't really happen now but I want.
Years ago the intervention of my partner and a timely comment on True Anon stopped me from buying a Mariner hat (what Lenin wore).
But now I'm a girl living in a cold climate instead of a sad man in a warm one? I'm going to look so cute.
CW : disordered eating, mention of death
spoiler
fuck the nhs. i found a website dedicated to someone who died of ed complications. This person had a history of anorexia, was dying and neither 2 orgs that were supposed to help them did anything. ghoul shit.
my coworkers randomly brought up la riots today. had to hide my power level, like fym "it doesn't help their cause" be so fr rn we're in the fucking middle east what cause.
breast growth
Nipples have been hurting a bit lately, just thought it was growth, no they are physically bigger so I need to swap out my piercings to something longer, too tight. Lol.
healthcare woes
finally got healthcare again only to notice i'm missing a surgery appointment. gave 'em a call and "oh uh we're not scheduling for ffs anymore because we don't have anyone who does it". interesting! because the surgeon who was supposed to do it still works there. he's even still on the trans healthcare page of the website. but according to the person i spoke to, for the few months they've been working they haven't had anyone on staff doing ffs. gee i sure do wonder what happened
There's a cute queer guy cashier at a pet store I go to and I kinda want to try asking him out but idk how that'd go
He's v sweet and cute though and I wanna tousle his fluffy hair and smooch his forehead and cuddle him tbh
thanks for recruiting β β β β β β β β β β me
Entering my punished Xia arc this weekend⦠(CW transphobia)
β¦by driving 6 hours from the cosmopolitan city to the regional town I grew up in, to smooth the egos of my parents in law in person, my phone has died today from being dropped a second time, so Iβll have to get a temp one tomorrow, Iβm staying in a mediocre motel so they can have βspaceβ, Iβve already been eye-balled by a youth en route who looked like he wanted to hate crime me.
nsfw sex related edited just in case
I asked deepseek a question regarding sex and protection and the fucking thinking part calls me out "user seem unfamiliar and self conscious about this topic" fuck you deepseek don't call me out like this. I could get laid I just chose not to because sex is weird
I swear if you leave me alone for 5 minutes I will conjure up 3 new hobbies for myself. I feel like I should start taking bets. "Oh she's starting watercolours rn, I bet she'll do fountain pen calligraphy next, maybe shoemaking."
this day fucking sucks couldnt be worse, i hate being so anxious over the future every 2 days because of bullshit in my life, i just want to leave here, pain
(sometimes) cold food is the taste of freedom
I won't explain
No kings day, smdh what about the short kings huh? Yeah that's right height discrimination is all to real and when they can finally get a day to themselves all the tall people are like "uh actually we abolished the monarchy"