As I was leaving the library a little kid pointed at me and said “she looks like a boy”

At least my efforts aren’t going unnoticed 🫠

One of the things Im most looking forward to after bottom surgery is not having to tuck anymore. I tuck all day for these cretins and NOT ONCE has ANYONE ever said "wow I can barely tell you have a penis Terminal, great job" 🙄

hi everyonee

trying to post shit for the billionth time cause im shy and dead inside and trying to externalize and stop lurking

i am transfem but not on estrogen and i hate admitting that, i want to hopefully get on DIY in a good bit but that's another issue for me because of various factors ill probably mention later on, tldr distrust in myself, insecure about some other things

I am a ML and love my politics, although the past year has been rough on me and I, dont know, feel like I have lost my "spark". Feel out of life, trying to learn to be a person again, which is why I lurk here so much and read about how others do, feels like insight for me

other things about me, computer nerd, very sociable but awkward, have a loving gf that i love a lot

i find it hard to bond with people cause mostly everyone else has better things to do but id love to meet people i get along with on here (i talk too much if prompted)

also im very prone to selfhating and dysphoria like 80% of the time so yay

The mirror is wrong. I'm prettier than that.

ah fuck

ah fuck

yeah that's a little tinge of romantic attraction towards someone I've known for a while now, isn't it?

ah fuck yeah i know that emotion too well and that's it

fuck...

Between transphobic in-laws, my broken phone screen, the Iran-Israel War, and general chumpfuckery, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day. Xia needs drinky.

So many basic femme things I'm behind on. Not only have I been slacking on voice training, but I've also never learned how to do that thing where you flip in the air and land on an enemy's shoulders and snap their necks with your thighs. What have I been doing all this time

lmfao lady at the drive through just called me ma’am LET’S FUCKING GO

i still get dysphoric a lot

but come to think of it, it used to be way, way worse before transitioning

so that problem has gotten better for me, actually. this is weird to think about for me for some reason

T4T SUMMER...

T4T SUMMER IS REAL!!

Wearing a mask is the difference between getting “sir”’d or “darling”’d by the takeaway guy. (At least on days where I haven’t shaved)

gay son or thot daughter? I'm both

I had a very sad dream about my old cat. She was in a puddle, mewing pathetically, sick maybe? Its just a dream but still, I cried

I went to pride with my girlfriend this weekend and we had a great time! We met some folks from a trans org, and we're hoping to get involved in their like social/community aid nights :3

I wish I could hire someone to train my voice. Not lead me in training exercises or whatever but like literally take my voice a la Ursula and give it back after it's been fully trained. That's probably the only way I'm getting the voice I want since I simply don't have the discipline to do it myself

I can't feel anything. I finished the last assignment of my degree 10 minutes ago (that fucking paper who deadline got delayed to tomorrow midnight). There's no emotions going in my head besides a general sense of dread and unease. I hate the fact that work/studying is the main thing going on in my life. I hate the fact that I actually like this field because that means I easily threw away all my hobbies to focus on this one thing for my final year.

My only strategy for dealing with feelings like these is to laugh it off or make jokes about them, or even berate myself for disrespecting myself. Usually works ... but not at midnight. Midnight sodium_nitride is a major doomer. A real b**ch.

gonna be hanging out in here for a bit to stay away from the news mega. i need some positivity and not anxiety right now

One of the silver linings of boymoding is the amusement from making guys confused about whether they’re in the correct bathroom (it has happened twice this week)

celebrating my tranniversary by buying some winter clothes after work because holy shit i'm so cold. can't believe estrogen is making me re-evaluate my favourite season smh

therapy

oversharing on hexbear

Today has been much, much better then the last few days/week has been. Nothing too special happened, just feeling more normal I guess. Did get to see a friend for a few minutes at work which was nice. I know I'm not supposed to apologize but sorry if I worried anyone. Thank you for all the supportive messages.

Accidentally started thinking this morning, how about we don't do that

Just woke up and my devious plan worked

I haven't played deltarune since chapter 1, but I sure like Susie.

One of my favorite emojis, too

padded sports bra my beloved dysphoria destroyer

Death to Israel

They have “preemptively” attacked Iran. Join the news mega for updates

I want to wear autumn clothes again. Go away hot weather.

Started prog recently, shit has fucked me up ;-; . Been spending a bunch of time jsut feeling like shit and depressed, crying in bed for hours. It sucks. When do I get used to this shit so it isn't so mentally turbulent

When I started estrogen, I was crying a lot because it was like a mental barrier was lifted and repressed emotions could just flow out. It made me able to cry at like, anything, at romance movies, at sad moments in video games, at silly cat pictures. It was cathartic.

This is just like someone put my emotions into a jar and shook it before smashing it on the ground uaaaagggggghhhh ;-;

wish there werent events every 2 weeks with the possibility of ruining my life that make me anxious and i can never relax ugh

My tits are actually pretty big now, I'm just so tall and my ribcage is so big and stuff that I feel like they still look pretty small

I NEED MORRRE VAMPIRE YURI!!

🏳️‍🌈🧛‍♀️❤️🧛‍♀️🏳️‍🌈

Is it weird to put in my dating profile that I want someone who'll bully me a little

My pink areas on da boobs (idk wtf you call them) have been, swelling and shrinking dramatically depending on the temperature and I'm scared.

Also, I'm wearing a black trench coat that my dad used to wear, have ear length (black) hair and black shoes (no laces or velcro, those slip on types). It's kinda crazy how going on HRT has made me care way more about dressing nicely and grooming myself. And as a result, I now look like a stylised military officer. I just need boots to ~~stamp on the human face for an eternity~~ complete the look.

everything i make with tofu turns out so aggressively mid

(except when i just fry it in slabs. that turns out ok.)

bloom: in a t4t relationship. i feel amazing , she makes me so happy

doom TW dysphoria

Im gonna miss working with children. They're so adorable, babies, toddlers, little kids, big kids, teens. Maybe Ill go back or focus on the peds population one day.

Transes, I'm eepy and stuck at work

i wrote more lyrics

Told myself I wouldn't post sad shit today but whatever.

It's been a bit over a year since I accepted this. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but I really wish I had gotten better. I don't know why things break me but make other people stronger.

My therapist has said a few times that it's weird this isn't pushing me to do more. (my words now) It's broken me instead. I don't know why. Why am I more broken then I was a year ago. Why am I not better. I've tried my hardest. My hardest isn't good enough.

This past week has been so bad.

I just opened a pringles can and want to share. Please comment how many you took and I'll update the count

Pringles left: ~~100~~ 0.5 (no can)

YAKUZA: KIWAMI

Friday (the 13th) Rice