53
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] MossBear@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

They'll generally choose convenience over a better path. This ranges from the people who just leave grocery carts in the parking lot, to people who stay on the platform formerly known as Twitter as opposed to being a part of supporting more ethical alternatives, to people who defend the data harvesting practices of big tech companies, just to name a few examples.

[-] DharkStare@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Twitter should be one of the easiest social media platforms to leave. Mastodon seems every bit as good as Twitter with the lack of users being it's only real flaw.

The microblog style seems to work the best with federation as well since you're following people.

[-] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I tried mastodon and it wasn't an easy switch from twitter for me.

I mostly followed artists on twitter, none of which had moved to mastodon, and likely most of them never will.

It was also pretty impossible to just happen upon cool people I'd wanna follow randomly because the default feeds are just everything.

Say what you will about algorithmic social media feeds but they're a lot better than just showing you everything at once.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] justlookingfordragon@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The inability to distinguish between creation and creator. It is completely fine to like Harry Potter and still think that J.K.Rowling is nuts. You can dislike Dolly Parton's songs and still appreciate her for the awesome human being she is.

The vast majority of people obviously can't do that for some reason. It's either "both creation and creator are shit" or "both are awesome" and nothing inbetween, to the point that some folks automatically assume you're a climate change denier because you listen to Meatloaf, or do a 180° turn about liking/disliking movies, arts, novels etc. depending on what their authors did IRL. And don't get me started on Nintendo fanboys .... if you tell them you love the Zelda franchise but dislike Nintendo as a company, they'll rip you apart because you're obviously not allowed to have anything else but a single-track blanket opinion about literally everything they ever did.

If you like someone, you are not obligated to support each and every one of their actions, decisions or world views, and if you dislike someone you can (and should IMHO) still appreciate it if they do something good.

[-] Sklrtle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Someone else more less touched on this but I think you're missing the point.

I don't know a single person who thinks you can't like someone's art because you dislike the artist. Using your example, I have plenty of friends who grew up with Harry Potter and still absolutely love the series in many ways. However they also think JK Rowling is a piece of shit.

The problem lies in giving a platform to people who, at the very least outspokenly, espouse harmful views, and/or engage in harmful activities. So generally speaking, they tend to take some amount of issue (how much varies person to person) with people continuing to support works from them without some demonstration of change or betterment. In turn, most of us stop consuming their content wholesale, as we don't want to support their actions or views by contributing to their platform and would prefer others do the same.

People like what you're talking about exist, sure. I also think that demographic is nearly exclusively terminally online people, who tend to be quite a bit louder than your average person. Which in turn can skew how commonly held of an opinion something can seem to be.

[-] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 3 points 1 year ago

I don’t know a single person who thinks you can’t like someone’s art because you dislike the artist

I know plenty of people like this.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] glimse@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I don't think you should be upset with someone for liking an artist's work despite their personal life but I've definitely stopped listening to artists for theirs. I'll be half way through the opening verse and remember "oh yeah, this dude's a rapist" and don't want to continue.

On the flip side, I know Jackie Chan has had his fair share of controversy....but I still love his films and on-screen persona.

but I’ve definitely stopped listening to artists for theirs.

That's a personal choice, and I'm completely fine with that. If you can't help but dislike a work of art because it always reminds you of the bad thing its creator did/said, there is no shame in no longer engaging with said art as it won't bring you happiness anymore.

What I don't get are people who go "waaah noo, how DARE you like that song! The singer is an asshole, you have to hate their music now!" ... no, I don't have to. And that does not automatically mean I am okay with what the singer did - it just means that their actions haven't ruined the song for me.

[-] Swiggles@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago

No offense, but just no. If you don't like the art, but the artist that's fine, absolutely no problem here, but supporting a person like J. K. Rowling financially by consuming their creation is actually a problem and should be opposed.

This view is enabling horrible people and not okay.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] jackhp95@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

If you pirate their art, I suppose you have a point.

But if you're financially supporting folks who are actively opposed to your existence or the existence of people you care about, that's pretty foolish.

Harry Potter is the only reason folks care about J.K. Rowling. However, her words outside of her books have influenced politics and have hurt marginalized folks.

Because she's making money, she doesn't care.

Until JK doesn't make a dime from Harry Potter, your fandom of the IP will financially support her hateful views.

load more comments (8 replies)
[-] Elderos@lemmings.world 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We're all so bad at communicating and it is the bottleneck in most relationships, workplaces, and in politics.

We talk past each others when we argue. We're bad at definining the stuff we argue and talk about. We're bad at ignoring the pedantic stuff and focusing on the "spirit" of the argument.

At the workplace I feel the ability to share information to all the relevant parties without it being noisy has never been solved in big corporations. It is either a free-for-all situation where you're expected to read hundred of emails, answer anyone anytime, go in tons of meeting, OR to work in complete silos where you only talk to a supervisor once in a blue moon.

In friendships you have people who talk but don't listen and people who listen and don't talk. Oversharers, bullshiters, people who can't get to the point, people who gives 5 minutes of context and disordered information for every little things. Friends who mumble, or who don't finish half their sentences.

In relationships we let unresolved issues become taboos, and we let petty stuff buildup because we can't addresss it without anyone feeling attacked.

Communication is important, as you've already been told by a poster or an HR person, but I rarely see people actively try to better themselves in that area, nor the corporations I worked at. You won't have anything durable without it, or anything capable of scaling efficiently.

I am probably very bad at it too, for the simple reason that virtually all the people I know are ever good at best at a few aspects of it. I am self-conscious about communicating properly but I too probably suck at it and I have my blind spots just like everyone else. For this reason, this is the thing I hate about everyone, we can't communicate for shit and we don't even realize it most of the time.

[-] utg@mander.xyz 4 points 1 year ago

What's most frustrating about it is that even when I try to help others see that this is the real cause of friction between us - that poor communication or misunderstanding is the real cause of our arguments, many if not most would still fight me that I'm wrong and they're right and it's like nobody wants to reach a solution, they'd rather forever spin in the accusations

[-] kozel@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

When I ask them a simple question and they answer with at least ten-sentences-long answer.
Jes, I do it too.

[-] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 year ago

I totally get where you're coming from! It can be frustrating when you just want a quick answer to a straightforward question, and instead, you're bombarded with a seemingly endless stream of words. It's like trying to take a sip from a water fountain and getting hit by a firehose, right?

But here's the thing, sometimes those long answers are necessary. Think of it like this: Simple questions might have complex answers hiding beneath the surface. So, when someone provides a lengthy response, they might be trying to give you a complete picture.

Sure, not everyone's a fan of reading a novella in response to "What's the weather like today?" But consider that some people are genuinely passionate about sharing their knowledge or experiences. They might want to make sure you understand the topic thoroughly or provide you with additional context that could be helpful down the line.

It's like when your grandma starts telling you a story about her pet hamster from 30 years ago when all you asked was if she wanted a cup of tea. Annoying at times, sure, but she's just excited to share a piece of her life with you.

The key here is balance. If someone's giving a longer answer than necessary, it might be polite to gently remind them that you were just looking for a quick tidbit of information. But remember, on the other side, there's a real person trying to be helpful or connect with you in some way. So, maybe next time you see a long response to a simple question, take a deep breath, skim through it, and you might just find a hidden gem of knowledge or a new perspective you hadn't considered before!

[-] infinity11@infosec.pub 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] marshadow@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

“Giving a simple answer” can get a person yelled at for “lying by omission.” Or yelled at for “why didn’t you tell me this other detail?!”

[-] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 6 points 1 year ago

On that note, I hate question dodgers. Especially since I work online chatting with customers, and I'll ask them something direct, like "when were you meant to receive this check" and they fucking come back with "So my check is missing"

Like damn, fuckhead. I am already aware your check is missing. Definitely not what I asked. And I can't tell if they are just that brand of dumb or if they're being difficult on purpose.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] dingus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Some people are better/worse with this than others.

I remember when I was training for something in school, I dreaded asking my professor a question even though I really needed to. He would go into 10 minute long tirades and never really answer the question.

Every single time...

[-] Gyrolemmy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

If you want someone to give you a simple answer ask them a close ended question.

For example, "Should I do A or B?" If you ask for "this or that" it is clear to the listener that you considered your options already and have invested sufficient thought to your question. Therefore they can just offer you their opinion as it is asked.

If you ask "What should I do?" The listener has no idea where your head is at so it feels like their job to justify their answer.

Alternatively if you ask A or B and the correct answer is C then the listener may feel the need to correct your understanding because you asked for their assistance. The same teach a man to fish vs give a man a fish analogy applies here. Noone wants to repeatedly fish for the peraon too lazy to learn.

[-] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 4 points 1 year ago

For example, “Should I do A or B?” If you ask for “this or that” it is clear to the listener that you considered your options already and have invested sufficient thought to your question. Therefore they can just offer you their opinion as it is asked.

Ask customer if it's this or that - they respond with just "yes"

You underestimate how stupid the general public truly is.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] PanaX@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

How easily it is to normalize hate and violence to almost any human.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] Boozilla@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago
[-] BertramDitore@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

This one really gets me. Makes me feel like a cranky old asshole, but I find myself regularly thinking (all directed at my neighbors):

“Do you really need to slam the front door on your way out every day?”

“Do you really need to slam the car door every time you get in and out?”

“Does your meaningless 3 hour phone conversation really need to be on speaker for the whole neighborhood to hear?”

“Are you an elephant? Or is there a reason you can’t walk across the apartment without banging each foot like you have a vendetta against the floor?”

I could go on and on.

[-] Nemo@midwest.social 9 points 1 year ago

Me, I'm hard of hearing and probably have undiagnosed ADHD. You may have heard of auditory stimming: basically, that the ability to make noise that one can hear helps regulate dopamine production. I need to hear the door close to feel like I closed it. Hearing my own footsteps allows me to take my concentration off walking without falling over. I sing more-or-less constantly.

I stopped living in apartments ASAP because I didn't want to inconvenience those around me, but I can't just "be quiet" unless I'm actively concentrating on it the whole time.

People who use speakerphone in public were raised wrong, though.

[-] BertramDitore@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I totally understand this, and it makes a lot of sense. But your type of behavior is not the problem. You are aware of this fact about yourself, so you avoid living in apartments. That makes you a considerate and thoughtful human being. I appreciate you, and wish my neighbors were like you (by leaving lol).

The shit I’m dealing with is at all times of day and night and is from all my neighbors, all of whom are very different people. The sounds are extreme, startlingly loud, and are clearly because of their lack of consideration. I’m continually dismayed that they’re so oblivious of their surroundings.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] devious@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Especially when it's comes from their mouth from chewing food.

[-] Nemo@midwest.social 18 points 1 year ago

Dualistic thinking. The idea that things must be either good or bad, true or false, normal or perverse.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MarkHughes4096@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I hate that many people idolise other people.

It's possible to like some of the work of somebody without idolising them and blindly listening to or following absolutely everything they do.

[-] FleetingTit@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

Elon Musk is the best example: SpaceX has some really cool ideas (Falcon 9, Starship, Starlink) and Tesla made EVs palatable to car enthusiasts, which is an important step.

But on the whole he is an absolute piece of shit with a fragile ego.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

That we all think we're far more in control of ourselves than we are. Yes, including me. A person isn't in charge of the self, even a majority. Not by a long shot. We're the smartest monkeys in the room, but we're still monkeys. None of us are fully rational robots, but a lot of us pretend we are.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 11 points 1 year ago

We do not keep planets very well.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

That in times of conflict, human nature, the default mindset of humans, is often used as a crutch like a medical condition would be, and that we simultaneously still consider ourselves persons as we define persons as members of the moral community, the same one we use human nature to excuse ourselves for violating.

[-] gndagreborn@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

The fallacy of the middle ground. This is where most 'centrists' fall.

[-] Tedesche@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

That's interesting, because I was going to say I hate how a lot of people are very susceptible to extremism and binary thinking.

[-] gndagreborn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Agreed, but some solutions have a fairly binary answer. Extremism is a huge problem, but that is part on centrists tolerating intolerance and not taking a stance. There is no middle ground for racist ideology. There is no room for it in society. The answer to "I believe the Jews should be exterminated" is simply opposing it, "Jewish people have a right to maintain and cultivate themselves and their culture. To put it simply, for someone who wishes complete death for the Jews, the answer is not the middle ground. You cannot compromise and say "how about we kill half a Jew only?". This example is stupid and has lots of flaws, but I just came off of night shift.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 10 points 1 year ago

Mass hysteria/idiocy, like how easy it is for a crowd to drop logic and reason and be worked up into a frenzy because some populist/talking head/anonymous online account is telling them what to think or manipulating them with a bunch of half truths.

This is why we can't have nice things.

[-] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

The inefficiency. Why the fuck are we walking so goddamn slow? Why can't you eat faster? Oh god, don't make me watch you not use keyboard shortcuts. Why is everyone living like they want to be here in this goddamned line more than anything else in life?

[-] meekah@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why the fuck are we walking so goddamn slow?

I also walk fast all the time but I am trying to be a little slower so I don't get sweaty while going places. Maybe it's like that for other people as well. What I don't understand is why so many people seem to be completely oblivious to their surroundings and the way they block the path for other people.

Why can’t you eat faster?

Some people like to enjoy their food.

Oh god, don’t make me watch you not use keyboard shortcuts.

I can actually get behind this one.

Why is everyone living like they want to be here in this goddamned line more than anything else in life?

I'm unable to decypher what exactly you are complaining about here. What line are you talking about?

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Dvixen@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

The hypocrisy of caring and Hallmark holidays.

Some calendar days were created by companies out to make money, others by organizations trying desperately to raise awareness for their worthwhile cause.

The end result is often the same, jump on the bandwagon for one day to be seen as doing good or being good, then hop off and return to business as usual.

There's a calendar day coming up that every year makes my life worse. For one day a year, acquaintances ask me a question, don't care about or listen to my answer, and then go back to ignoring me for another year. Oh but hurrah for them, they did the thing they normally wouldn't because social media gives them warm fuzzies for announcing they did the thing. They don't even remember the questions or answers, for them, it was a thing to do, instead of being a better caring person for the other 364 days.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] poldergeest@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago

Apologies are always forced or insincere. Nobody finds themselves in the wrong on their own anymore.

[-] QuillanFae@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Well there are those of us who just feel we've done the wrong thing all the time and practically apologise just for existing. Not that that's better.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
53 points (83.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26736 readers
1505 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS