What you want to get is one of those thick blankets, roll it up into a tight, giant ball and slam your face into that. I find that muffels the existential screams quite well, much better than any pillow could ever be.
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watch you really wanna do is get several thick quilts. the heavier, the better. get some rope and make a tent fort in the living room. then get a bunch of white noise generators- set them next to the tent wall, or maybe hang them along the wall.
Then get more quilts and build a second tent just outside the first. This should stop most screaming but for the existential terror screams, you might want a second layer.
(also great for playing with nephews and nieces.)
That's a more advanced way of doing it, it is a more fun way to get those screams out tho, especially if you string up some fairy lights around it.
Also, you can always just blame the kids.
You know. gotta practice. for the kids. and if the kids do happen to come over, it'll be a fun thing for a bit, at least. you know, recharge that 'why we still fight' meter.
If you told me a year ago I would be doing this constantly I would have said your insane. Yet here we are ...
I rawdog that shit. The neighbors don't appreciate it but hey.
Gimp
It's not a pillow but it's free and let's you use your voice and opinion to create content that you can't then post online and get your view out there. It's like screaming
It took a long while before I understood that you weren't referring to the store employee as "gimp".
We're going to need a bigger pillow...