this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] muhyb@programming.dev 138 points 3 months ago

Jesus Christ, that's JSON Bourne.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 125 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes that's right, it goes into postgres.

[–] fargeol@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago (2 children)

“You know what ELSE everybody likes? Postgres! Have you ever met a person, you say, ‘Let’s use some Postgres,’ they say, ‘Hell no, I don’t like Postgres’? Postgres is perfect!”

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah! Postgres is great!

  • Mutters something under his breath about MariaDB.
[–] marcos@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

MariaDB

Let's schedule a meet-up at 00/00 year 0000 to talk about it.

[–] somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

elephant walks in

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I 100% agree... If you don't need portable databases. For those, everybody like SQLite (even if it can be annoying sometimes)

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You can pry sqlite out of my cold dead hands. Because I'll probably die while using it out of frustration due to the poor performance of triggers.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Tbh trigger performance isn't that much of a concern unless you need to write lots of data, which most usage don't need.

Also try check statements instead or even re-evaluate your schema to prevent them if you really need to.

Personally my death would be multiple write transaction deadlocks. Sadly it doesn't play that well with async code, like with sqlx (rust).

[–] tatterdemalion@programming.dev 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

My death was the fact that table lock acquisition is not FIFO.

https://sqlite.org/forum/forumpost/8d7d253df1b9811b4b76c2c4c26ac0740e73d06e9edfeb2ab8aabaebd899cbc8

Thankfully I can at least have FIFO in a single process by wrapping every write transaction in a mutex.

P.S. can't wait for turso's SQLite replacement to have feature-parity and sqlx support.

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[–] r00ty@kbin.life 40 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, but is it web scale?

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)

/dev/null is web scale, it maintains sub 1ms times no matter how much load you give it!

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Does /dev/null support sharding?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Yes, you can run as many replicas as you want. It's also incredibly lean on the synchronization bandwidth.

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It certainly supports the admin sharting when he finds out where all the data went.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago
[–] ThunderComplex@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago

How to avoid a alien invasion according to war of the worlds 2025

[–] desmosthenes@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

lololol yusssss

[–] fxdave@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

With SQL you scale it when it is required by sharding, read replicas, cache layers, and denormalization.

With NoSQL afaik, we have to deal with the scaling from the beginning by keeping the consistency of denormalized data, that has additional code overhead. Is mongoDB different in this regard?

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

EDIT: I got whooshed. Thanks for the reference :)

edit edit: Holt shit how did I miss this for 15 years. This is great, stayed accurate all this time.

Shoutout to software that had to deal with y2k and is still popular, gotta be one of my favourite genders.

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

I've never seen that one. It's a masterpiece for sure. Thanks.

[–] Feyd@programming.dev 6 points 3 months ago

Just fyi you're taking a meme seriously

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

who needs any of that when you have microsoft access

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

There is actually an open source alternative for that in the Libreoffice suite called "Base"

[–] tyfon@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

I have used libre office base and found it's buggy mess.

  1. Not all drivers support all functions, so if you are wondering why some options are not present it's probably adapter not supporting it.
  2. Errors and help are usually empty or super generic like 'syntax incorrect'.
  3. Interface sometimes bugs out when long syntax is present in input fields
  4. Because of 1. It also doesn't support all syntax from Microsoft SQL, MySQL etc.

I sugest to use dbbever for any DB, it's different but at least it's not a buggy mess. Or pgAdmin for Postgresql. Or DB Browser for SQLite

[–] ksh@aussie.zone 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is it actually any good for small personal projects? Just want someone who has used it to answer as I’m considering putting some work into it.

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[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 months ago

Ow, my integrity

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 28 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I took one course where we used MongoDB. I was like "still unconvinced, but I'll keep this in mind if I run into situations not covered by PostgreSQL." ...I've not run into situations not covered by PostgreSQL. Everything will be covered by PostgreSQL.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 26 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Just use Mongo, it scales so well!

Never understood why anyone chose Mongo. Though I have some funny memories getting rid of it because it was slowing the app down sooo much.

If you need something for storing JSONs and querying, just use ElasticSearch/OpenSearch.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 12 points 3 months ago

Oh god, all the people storing massive JSON documents, and then having to lock the whole thing to modify sub-entities.

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But is Elasticsearch web scale?

[–] nik9000@programming.dev 3 points 3 months ago

I say this with all appropriate irony: as the guy that deployed it at for Wikipedia, yes.

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 4 points 3 months ago

Or add a column next to the json with some data about the json and index that.

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[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Had to roll my own JSON storage system after spending weeks trying to get sqlite to work on Godot/android.

It took a day and will suck at scale because there are no indexes. It just goes through the whole file, line by line when you search for an id.

BUT IT WORKS.

Hopefully the repos and stuff I piled on top have made it abstract able enough I can move it to a real database if the issue ever gets resolved.

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I’m confused about your SQLite troubles … it compiles for pretty much everything - as long as you have a file system mapping.

[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's not just me, but seems to affect Godot c# deployments to mobile

https://github.com/godotengine/godot/issues/97859

Worked fine on desktop

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ahh, it’s not an issue about SQLite but about whether the right libraries are bundled by Godot. Got it, that explains it.

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[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
[–] velxundussa@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

I manage instances of both mongo and postgres at work.

I'll say Mongo OpsManager is pretty sweet, and HA is way easier on Mongo.

[–] Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait you guys don't just write data to a .txt file?

/s

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