this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2025
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Futurama

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Rule 1: Don't be a jerkwad!

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[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 68 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] charonn0@startrek.website 10 points 4 months ago

And stop sighing so much.

[–] VivianRixia@piefed.social 53 points 4 months ago

Z- This whole sector is uncharted
K- It's not uncharted. You lost the chart.

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 42 points 4 months ago

And mix these mixed nuts!! I see two almonds touching!!

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 39 points 4 months ago

The jackass wants to see you in his quarters.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 32 points 4 months ago
[–] kaitco@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I’m not as big a fan of velour as you are.

[–] geekwithsoul@piefed.social 5 points 4 months ago

Is that the line? I always thought it was "I don't share your love of velour" - but I've probably just been misquoting it for years.

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And it’s powered by love! …also you have to wind it.

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

I can't wait till the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this.

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 22 points 4 months ago

Sigh...."sexlexia"

[–] teft@piefed.social 21 points 4 months ago

Show them my medal, Kif!

41GE0BZ5RyE4HBz.png

[–] mercano@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

“Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.”

“Yes, I programmed it in for you. 4 million lines of BASIC!”

[–] Awa@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

Zapp: "clear my schedule"

Kif: takes out etch-a-sketch and shakes it

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 17 points 4 months ago

For soon, the quivering mass of life within me will depend on us both. Even now, I can sense it feeding, squirming, searching, questing. And shortly, it will rend my loins in twain, burst forth and pull us down, down, down into the deep, dark waters of commitment.

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 4 months ago

I don't have a favorite line, but this copypasta always comes to my mind when I think about Kif:

I used to have 50,000 posts on a fucking really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board.

For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single fucking post. I remember that the other posters would say things like ‘post your penis again for me Kif’ with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my dick green).

I was basically a fucking sex slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan.

I hate that part of my life almost as bad as I hate this current one.

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 4 months ago

Precious hamburgers?

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 months ago
[–] megaman@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 months ago

The boy, sir?