Final wish: Increase childhood cancer by 500%.
You sick fuck.
Take your up arrow.
Climate change solved?
1st wish: bring all insects together into one mega organism blob that slowly traverses the earth consuming anything it touches
Make bedbugs immune to insecticides.
Bedbugs now fly.
Just a FYI, most bed bugs are immune to insecticides already.
Tests and studies have shown that insecticides work as well as water for killing bed bugs. 25% kill rate and lowering each year.
The best tool against bed bugs is heat (Steam cleaner) or Diatomaceous Earth.
The time I had bedbugs we killed them with an ant's insecticide. Looking up the active chemical found its banned in the US and the EU because it induce abortions and fetus malformation.
Yup, that’ll do it.
cancel update CANCEL UPDATE
So Nausicaä?
"All bugs are now the size of dogs."
I think that just results in billions of dog sized bugs being dead no? Isn't it a lack of available oxygen in the air that keeps their size down?
Granted, every flying insect becoming as large as a dog and plummeting to the Earth instantly would be fucking horrifying.
The inverse-square law means that most insects lack the body structure to withstand their own weight at that size, which would mean a horrifying moment or all insects growing and then imploding under their own weight.
You guys are all ignoring the most fundamental law of physics: Monkey's Paw Law.
"Grant the desired wish in the most unpleasant way possible."
Hidden Effect: Phyics now supports bugs the size of dogs.
All yards become massive piles of dead dogs erupting everywhere from the ground.
"I'ma boutta singlehandedly bring the worldwide prices for gasoline and ammo up a cent."
Make every car moan when you start it
XKCD 2741 Alt Text: "I wish for everything in the world. All the people, money, trees, etc." "Are you SURE you--" "And I want you to put it in my house."
How do we know that's not what happened to Trump?
He would have lost focus babbling halfway through his first wish and never reached a coherent request.
Third wish: raise avg world temp by 5C.
Give everyone tastebuds in their anus.
[This comment has been deleted by an automated system]
What if I put my tastebuds in someone else’s anus?
It's 2023. Have you not done that yet?
Wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy
Wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy
I call that an average Saturday night
Of course I know the taste buds in my colon (TBIMC) can never be cured, but my doctor told me that with proper diet and excercise and Poisantin, my TBIMC could be monitored, putting me in control of the size and sensitivity of the taste buds in my colon.
Third wish: we hit 2 degrees ten years ahead of schedule
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