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I have written in a previous job messages, but it usually went like this:
Hello, [Name]! Hope you're not too busy! I have questions regarding [whatever the fuck it was on about]
Mostly because I hate getting a message and it is just a wall of text, the greeting allows for a slight breathing room and a chance to spot a typo.
But I never left the other hanging, more than a minute to type the needed thing up. If it was taking longer, I would just send it in chunks.
I skip all formality and just say what's needed.
That's fine. To each their own.
This is describing email, not a chat client. If I am chatting with you I expect real time engagement, otherwise I would send an email.
Soft disagree. It's less asynchronous than email, but definitely not a synchronous conversation like a phone call or in-person chat. Caveat: If we are having an active conversation, then people should try to respond promptly, or with minimal delay.
Coworker: Hi
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Hello
Coworker: So
[Several seconds pass]
Coworker: What's up with that file from yesterday?
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Which file
[No response for literally 10 minutes]
Coworker: The one we sent to client B
Me: [Rather than keep trying to extract information, search through history and find file which was sent to client B yesterday, find nothing obviously wrong with it, and it was nothing to do with me anyway]
Me: [Sends link to file] You mean this one?
[5 minutes pass]
Coworker: NM I figured it out. Thanks!
My other favourite is the coworker who does the same thing but instead of saying hey types "Pssst" and if you don't respond within about 5 seconds they start sending GIFS of people knocking on doors and stuff.
If anyone says hi to me I literally just ignore them until they say something actionable.
It's great because if they ever complain about it I can just say, oh I was busy so didn't immediately follow up and they never ever specified what they wanted.
I've thankfully never experienced that last one, but that is heinous. I would actually engage to tell them not to do that.
Don't do that.
Can I ask you a question?
You get one a day, try again tomorrow
I don't know, can you?
I got in trouble at work for being "unavailable" for 3 days while my coworkers were working on something important without me because I never responded to the one word message "Hey".
The company I work for has a general guideline/policy to "don't ask to ask." I thankfully rarely experience this.
Yeah, really doesn't make sense when everyone is working for the same company. You are literally being paid for your time, when answering that question.
I will obviously start by saying Hi, but I will also just say what I’m contacting them about in the first message.
yeah, i'd like to see us abolish email and turn things into slightly long IM's.
I've been struggling for years to condense several thoughts into a single IM, not to blow up the recipient's attention.
If I'm feeling nice, I reply to those with " please lead with your question"
If not, I don't reply.
I've toyed with this a few ways, and my favorite response is waiting 4 hours and replying "hi!" That might mean the next day. Then when they ask the question, wait a couple more hours at least to reply. They've set the pace for the conversation this way, and it's going to be glacial. (Folks who have no urgency get no urgency)
If they ask the right way, I am pretty quick. (Polite people get polite responses)
If it's something that can wait 20 minutes, I typically wait 20 minutes. (I am a busy person) (Protip: this makes bosses and coworkers think you're not just fucking around all day, and they respect you more)
Train people using rules, even if they are unspoken, be consistent and it'll work.
Proper format:
Hola,
X is Y and we need Z. Did you fuck with the server?
nohello.com
The solution to this is to not reply to them.
They will either give you the information you need (and potentially learn their lesson for next time), or they’ll get tired of waiting and ask someone else.
Hey.
On my way home tonight, sitting at a red light I noticed that my bosses boss sent me "hi, can you talk?"
I spent the next 20 minutes of the ride home trying to think of anything that I said to anybody that could have been misconstrued into God knows what. I get home and reply "I can now."
It was a question someone had about our specific uniforms (scrubs) and under which heading I was able to order them under.
"Hi, can you talk? I have a question about your uniform." Would have been so much kinder lol.
I notice there are several similar domains by now. I know a few people who have this is the forever status message in the work messaging tool
LMAO. I thought I was the only one quietly enraged by this...
These are your coworkers' best friends, who send you an email and then immediately run to your desk to tell you that they sent you an email. And if you're busy, they stare at you until you turn to them and they get what they want, no matter what you were doing.
I'd say this works and should apply it at work.
But in personal comunication it can be badly percieved, you could be seen as that person who only talks to ask for a favor (wherever it is real or not).
I’ve done this out of habit trying to be friendly. I’m starting to see the error of my ways. A point has been made.
Shift+Enter or Ctrl+Enter (depending on the platform) will usually insert a line break. You can divide your greeting from the content of the message without actually sending two messages.
Personally, I don't care if it's one message or two. The thing that annoys me is people who send a greeting and then wait for a response before telling me what they actually want. If someone sends "hi" and then immediately starts typing their actual question, that's fine for me, especially on platforms with a typing indicator.
You're welcome to start with "Hi", "Hello" or even "Greetings, my lord" but please don't just leave it at that. Follow up with your actual question immediately so the recipient knows what you need and if it's urgent.
I just write hi or good morning or whatever, follow it by an empty line, and then my question. In the same message.
I don't answer "Hi" anymore.
If they need help they'll ask what they need.
I have some people that my entire message history is "Hi" and no answer. Because they eventually realize they should ask in our QA channel instead of dm'ing our team members.