this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2026
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As Kurt Vonnegut wrote in his poem “Joe Heller”:
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!

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[–] ToTheGraveMyLove@sh.itjust.works 105 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is a man who feels compelled to lie about being good at video games. He's one of the most pathetic human beings on the face of the planet.

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 60 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah we know. We saw the letter rejecting his request to rape girls on Epstein Island. Maybe if he had more money? Guess we'll never know. Poor fella

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Dear Elon:

I must decline your many requests, and stress that I would like you to stop contacting me. Since you have been so relentless, I will be extremely candid with you: You look like a Goblin, on a good day, and the very thought of you naked is horrifying. You will terrify the girls, who are, after all, only little kids. It's hard enough to get them to cooperate with having sex with fat old men without having you stalking around the room like a naked obese Gollum with a bad haircut.

It's a NO, and it will always be a NO. Please stop contacting me.

JE

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago

Money had nothing to do with that. He wasn't invited because he's an unlikable nerd. 

[–] greenbit@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

And the many emails where he was invited

[–] jontree255@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago

Stay miserable you fucking Nazi loser.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago

This fucker could use his money to actually help people. Everyone would love him. He could be the most popular person in the world. He could be so happy doing good.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

We're humans, social creatures. A lot of happiness we experience comes from human connection

There is nothing more isolating than climbing to the top on a pile of everyone you ever knew.

Money in significant quantity brings isolation

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 7 points 2 weeks ago

Especially when there's plenty of ~~Russian~~ Mossad kompromat.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He could have started a peaceful revolution, helping millions of people.

Instead, he's knocked up a bunch of women, hates them all (and his children), and spends his days bitching on "Twitter".

GOOD JOB

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's always the idea though isn't it.

You simply do not become a multi-billionaire and have charity and empathy, just to get to the point of having digested so many companies and burned through so many businesses and using people like capital and collateral, you need to be some kind of solipsistic, self-deluded psychopath, but also be stupid enough about humanity and life that you convince yourself you're deserving of taking the hard work of millions of people for yourself.

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'

[–] X@piefed.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

If money is such a problem
Well, they got mansions, think we should rob them

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Robin Leach strangled a young lady

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[–] basketugly@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Take a small example, a tip from me, take all of your money give it up to charity.

[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Life a'lovin, life a'lovin, come back to me..

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[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago

No money can’t buy taste.

Not worrying about money can make you happy. Billionaires seem to be only worrying about money.

Not having to worry about money and not worrying about it can make you happy and healthy.

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

All the money in the world and he just had to go fucking around in politics and then our government.

I swear people like this just do not have good real friends in their life to ground them.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 6 points 2 weeks ago

That's Trump's problem. And Biden, Clinton, Bush (1&2), Obama, Reagan Nixon... All the way back. For the elderly, I would argue elder abuse, additionally.

[–] dipcart@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

This has always bothered me. Capitalism won. They control the world. Every death in most of the world feed the machine. From Palestinians to Cambodians, some are bombed, some are worked, but their death is to spin the wheel. The environment is on fire. To spin the wheel. The world is filled with hate. To spin the wheel. Apparently every single fucking billionaire is a pedophile. To spin their wheel.

All of that suffering, all of that pain, to get your rocks off, AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN HAPPY?

Nobody else in the world gets to have a good time so that you can have everything, and you're still not having a good time?

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hey dude. You know what can buy happiness? Compassion, generosity, being of service, creativity, a healthy lifestyle, and staying far away from toxic people like your Trumps, Epsteins, etc. Your conquests and financial success are empty. You see that. Divest. You will live comfortably for the rest of your life now, or pursue endeavors purely for the love of it, or the creative outlet. And you can use that time and money making amends, bettering the lives of everyone around you. Feed the hungry, house the poor, pay for the education and betterment of others, use your influence to benefits those without influence. Empower others to be comfortable too. I promise you that you will feel 10000 times better about yourself, and the people around you will love you for it.

[–] bestelbus22@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Elon could've done this and make Tesla the biggest company ever. I remember when he was awesome future guy and everyone liked him. I think he got super drunk on this success and has been "chasing the high" in all the wrong ways ever since.

[–] fiat_lux@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The difference was that he fired his PR agents in 2020 who stopped him from ruining their carefully created advertising. He never was that person.

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[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago

Motherfucker, Dickens told you exactly the answer 200 years ago. Here's the fucking Muppet version: https://youtu.be/UIaJcjJReCU

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

‘Tell him we will pray for him.’ ‘He needs your prayers.’ ‘Is he, then, an unhappy man?’ Poirot said, ‘So unhappy that he has forgotten what happiness means. So unhappy that he does not know he is unhappy.’ The nun said softly, ‘Ah, a rich man…’ Poirot said nothing—for he knew there was nothing to say…

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 2 weeks ago

The Apples of Hesperides

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

That's right Elon and you will NEVER be happy because you are trash. You should be like Hitler in 1945.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Musk is so creepy Epstien put him on "read," and ghosted him.

Musk is that edgelord from middle school who never stopped being an edgelord or acting like an idiot pre-teen. He's desperate to see, hip and cool but he's just a petty little snowflake of a human being.

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Well if the money isn't helping you I'm sure there's many others it would WOULD help...

[–] Klox@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

So there's no arguments from him that he'll be made unhappy if we take it all from him. Maybe we can make him more unhappy, which I'm willing to live with.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This so angers me

The richest person in the world, who single handedly could do something like end world hunger if he wanted to

The richest person in the world, who got there by exclusively lying his ass off about literally everything

The richest man in the world who went now full Nazi

The richest man in the world now buuwuuu complains that his life is so hard.

I hope you get a fucking paper cut on your dick head.

I can't wait for your kind to die out and disappear. We need to rid the world of millionaires. Wealth caps, now!

[–] johncandy1812@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think he's trying to iritate people on purpose with this. I wish people would just stop using his products all together. Then we could stop talking about him entirely.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I guess his narcissism and hoarding disorder makes him sad. Good

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 7 points 2 weeks ago

Hmmm, I think I should get some lunch.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I get it. All that money, and he still has to pay women to be surrogates to breed his organ donor offspring. They certainly won't have sex with him under any circumstances, no matter how much money he throws around.

Not that it matters, because even if he could get a woman to put down her 10 foot pole and consider actual coitus, he couldn't perform anyway, reportedly due to his wang won't work due to botched enlargement surgery.

You just know he is funding cutting edge research into penis transplant surgery in some weird lab somewhere. Watching a lot of porn, probably got his eye on a couple of candidates right now.

Don't you feel sorry for him?

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

With a working penis a rich guy like that could certainly buy a lot of temporary happiness, getting BJs from sexy whores and stuff. But since he says he can't we can assume he doesn't have one.

[–] compostgoblin@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have some ideas about how to make them enjoy themselves less

[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

I have some ideas about how to make them enjoy themselves more.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 6 points 2 weeks ago

There actually are a few rich folks that see the need for more taxation at the high level and such. They sorta get there is only so nice money can make their lives before you get to the point where the earth in general has to get better to improve their quality of life. Many though seem caught up in some sorta game to have the most. Stan ridgeway has a great line in his I want to be the boss song about that. I have said before that I could only get so rich because if I got to a certain point im not going to be chasing that stuff and would chill like the my space guy.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Money actually has a strong diminishing return on happiness. A lack of money can definitely make you unhappy. More money also makes it easier to be happy, but does make it easy.

That's actually the hole that the rich can get into. They (subconsciously) assume they would be happy with just a bit more money. They delay or ignore the things that would make them happy in trade for more money/power.

It would actually be quite sad, if it didn't fuck the rest of us over completely.

[–] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 2 points 2 weeks ago

I do pity them. I long for a world in which such hoarding, deleterious tendencies were treated as the mental health crisis they are, and that such a thing were made impossible to occur.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

law of diminishing returns apply, better split 1 happiness into 10 million happiness, more bang for the buck

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

Of course not, the dumb fucks have detached themselves from every single meaningful human connection possible

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

He should Marie Kondo his Wall Street portfolio. If the stocks don't spark joy, he should let them go.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Want to make a lot of people happy, Elon?

KILL YOURSELF

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