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Past poor decisions have taught me this:
Don't do anything you're going to have to lie about. If you do, don't lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
I have plenty of problems in my life but a guilty conscience isn't one of them.
I tell my kid all the time, the fewer lies you tell, the less you have to remember.
It's not always disgusting, first off xD Polyamory is around, though I've only been with... Uhh... Four? Married people, at least while they were married. A few have gotten married since.
Pretty normal, all things going, with three of them. If you mean "What's it like to be the person someone's cheating with" there's a good goddam reason I refuse to be anyone's secret. That one sucks, it's happened once, and was a 0/10 would not recommend experience for anyone involved. The guy blamed himself after I told him, the girl had cotton candy where most people had a spine, and it wasn't even worth it in bed.
EDIT: Four. It's happened four times.
There's also the scenario where the guy didn't know she was in a monogamous relationship.
It's disgusting for the wife, but not the guy.
Yeah. In my case they were all poly when they happened. The one where I was a secret had the spouse, and another partner besides me. I was the secret from one of them, but not the other. Were that not my first poly relationship I almost certainly wouldn't have gotten involved, it was... A mess.
Honestly I started hooking up with a girl who worked in the same building as me for a few months after I broke up with my ex at the time. She was hot and clearly interested in me so we started flirting and it didn't take much time to escalate. We were both in our early 20s and she was a year younger than me. She said she was divorced, which was a red flag by itself at our age but I ignored it and gave her the benefit of the doubt...
So anyway that was a lie that turned into," oh we're actually just separated", then "well, we still live together...."
Again I was a mess myself and she was literally one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. We continued to hook up under the assumption that all parties consented and we're aware of what was going on which was fine but in hindsight was still dumb. She was constantly lying, little things and big things. I never really knew the truth and she always had weird justifications which I didn't really push her to explain, I just filed them away as 'evidence' for lack of a better term. We fuck for hours at my place then she'd go home looking disheveled and smelling like sex only to complain that her husband was in a bad mood. That shit was just disrespectful and I had no ntention of rubbing it in the other dudes face like that.
It got to a point where I was like, damn do I have to worry about this dude coming after me at some point? He was in the army and they got together at 18. I don't know how much he knew about me but with the tension between them, our relationship was quickly becoming a liability. He had firearms, I didn't. She also only had male friends, many of whom were clearly in love with her and pining for her affection, so more men who were against me.
We were on again off again for a while. One of the last times we hooked up we went to her house and as I took my shoes off I saw size 13 Nike SB Dunks, I didn't even mention them but it was clear that I wasn't the only dude she had coming around. And it sure as hell wasn't a relative. At that point I was mentally checked out and done with the drama. Realized I was gonna get caught up in bullshit if I kept fucking around with her so I told her straight up I'm done because I can't trust a word she's saying.
I liked her a lot but we both had our issues, her problems were definitely more substantial tho, not to absolve myself or my actions. I wasn't into it in the end; the infidelity and lying became far too much on top of the other mental/financial instability.
Apparently he was constantly cheating on her but IDK, so much of the story was iffy. For now on my rule is I'm open to dating a divorcee but only after the divorce has been finalized for over a year. Im not going through that shit again
It got to a point where I was like, damn do I have to worry about this dude coming after me at some point? He was in the army and the got together at 18. I don’t know how much he knew about me but with the tension between them our relationship was quickly becoming a liability. He had firearms, I didn’t. She also only had male friends, many of whom were clearly in love with her and pining for her affection, so more men who were against me.
Oh sh.. This was really dangerous. I immediately remembered the story of one man from reddit, where he ran away to another state, from an angry husband, he did not know that he was fucking with a married woman, she was quite young. In this world, you have to be damn careful with women.
Apparently he was constantly cheating on her but IDK, so much of the story was iffy. For no on my rule is I’m open to dating a divorcee but only after the divorce has been finalized for over a year. Im not going through that shit again
I'm glad for you that it didn't end as badly as it could have been.
Don't do it unless you want to get killed.
Real legendary lovers have fled from dozens, if not hundreds, of angry husbands.
A neighbor of mine has done it. He and his wife were our friends, before. Then he went to bed with that blonde who lived a few doors further.
In the following months his wife ran away with their kid. Both got the usual trauma. They needed to sell the house. He lives with that blonde now, and his life isn't exactly better than before. Our friendship isn't that close anymore.
I did once in my very early 20's. She wasn't happy with her husband, and she made the first move but I can't say I'm innocent. Wish I could go back and not do it.
I have a strange problem with my other half when it comes to cheating. It's nothing bad on either of us, no decision we made, but a set of circumstances has aligned to make me feel like I was cheating on my wife. She had a chronic medical issue that I managed to fix using good testing methods and a spreadsheet. As a result, she started feeling better, more energetic, inflammation went away, and she lost a good chunk of weight, which took her from "Adorable chubby wife" to "Holy shit, look at that MILF". This, combined with some strange visual processing problem I have where I cant easily recognize faces, and for several months I felt like I was cheating on my wife.
Never done this, except cybersex. I didn't know her husband, but I knew he was her husband and we all played an mmo together. I convinced myself that he knew and didn't consider it cheating. Then she kept venting to me about what a bad father he was for their kid and I slowly faced the fact that she wouldn't be trying to convince me he was bad if he knew, so I told her to keep it nonsexual from now on and she quickly moved on to another player I knew. It doesn't feel good, especially in hindsight. If you're ever in that position you'll feel better in the end not kicking the person while they're down.
I knew a chick in an open relationship whose side piece was married which she liked so there was no issues with her main realationship. Her view was he was doing something wrong not her. I found that repulsive.
Swingers don't mind. :)
🍍
It's too general of a question, with no single answer.
I'm sure some have had great experiences, others have had REALLY bad ones. Depends more on the people, what they do and how they do it than whether or not she is married.
