Why didn't Jesus ask the giant eagle to take the ring to Mordor?
this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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"We ARE Mordor, bald eagle!" - 'Murican Jesus
For not stopping the far right guy that killed him?
For releasing the mutant giant eagle.
Have you guys also noticed that we've barely heard anything about Kirk's shooter compared to Luigi? I wonder if it's because Kirk's shooter isn't quite as useful to them for painting the left as "violent criminals"
Hey! We don't do facts here!
No, for pushing the COVID-19 vaccine. As I keep telling people, it was the "plandemic" that made him get the jab which is what made his neck just do that. The liberals pinned it on a nice boy from a MAGA family to protect Big Pharma.
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A significant part of Jesus’ teachings is “don’t claim to speak on behalf of God”. Whoever made this meme is a blasphemer.
Like everything else these religious nutjobs do?
They would never reach even the gate of their own heaven they speak about.
At best they can be sure to not break the first commandment. They are actively breaking many of not all others.
If Jesus came to America he would be shot within two seconds of opening his mouth for being too "leftist".
Jesus prefers watching and doing nothing about anything
Jesus is the ultimate cuck.
Jesus Cucking Christ
Jesus let all this Epstein stuff happen. When a girl was crying and being raped, where was Jesus? When one was being eaten, where was god?
Helping some self righteous NFL player make a touchdown, for His glory.
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If God wanted Kirk to be alive, he wouldn't have allowed him to become a blood fountain.
Wasn't the kid who shot him a groyper from a maga family? Not sure what liberals had to do with alt right radicalizing kids and losing control of a culture war they started degrading to a political civil war.
you're talking about reality, which is completely irrelevant to these people.
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meanwhile on Facebook:
Anarchism is slavery? What?
War is peace.
And most importantly: ignorance is strength.
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Good to know that the nazis werent fascists. You never stop mearning
If you had a penny for every magatard that actually knew what fascism was you wouldn’t have enough to buy lunch
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Why aren't those people pointing their phones at the Son of God and his enormous bird?
Why would Jesus care about Captain Kirk? Is He a Star Trek fan?
I doubt He's furious at anyone. He's too busy being a Whirling Dervish of Other Cheek-turning.
Why would I comment a made up word to pray for Jesus, or Captain Kirk, or the enormous bird, or the stoned photo-takers? Show me where 'christfully' (note they couldn't even give the guy's name a capital 'C') is in the Bible.
Also ...
How dare this heretic presume to speak for The Lord!!!
Technically all words are made up
I was about to ask "I'm mildly concerned, are American Evangelicals okay?" but then I remembered there has never been a time when they have been okay, so I don't know why am I even asking.
Isn't fury one of the seven deadly sins?
I think it's "furry"
Greed, Wrath, Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Envy, and Sloth.
Furries are only, like, 6 of those things. 🤷♂️
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I saw what happened to Kirk and watched it a few times. 10/10 would recommend.
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Of course they use genSlop for their bullshit. They don't have a gram of creativity, or value for human effort in them.
Press "F" to christfully.
christfully
What the actual fuck.
Bullshit like this, and the fact that there are soamy who believe it, is the reason I have zero hope left for the United States.
If I used that cesspool of a website and somehow saw this nonsense, I would reply with a clip of Gandhi II from UHF
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No he's not angry with the liberals for killing Charlie (because an far right kid did that), he is angry because they didn't morn his death.
Sometimes I dont know if those posts are sarcastic or true…
Hey man, nice shot.
I have heard of supply-side Jesus, is this another new form of him? Fascist Jesus - He promoted hate and division and blaming acts on people who had nothing to do with it.
All hail Fascist Jesus and don't forget to subscribe to the Anti-Woke Jesus Network for only $19.99 a month to ensure your soul is ready to purge your fellow Americans.
That’s at Texas A&M. My alma mater is a god damn embarrassment now
What even are these platforms? Why would anyone use them?
Comment "christfully" to pray for him 🙏💙❤️
Praying for Jesus seems sacreligious.
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