this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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askchapo

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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Hi there, worksite etiquette specialist here.

While the amount of woke on your shit may, in fact, be the gay amount; the appropriate response to such accusations remains the same. You're gonna wanna go with the tried and tested 'takes one to know one' approach. There's many options for deploying this method but my personal favourite is "Why? You lookin' to suck a dick? You're not my type"

For further training, please subscribe for 29.95 a month to my course titled "how to talk or whatever"

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago

Finally, an expert. Thank you.

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago

You should suck all their dicks. Then they'll be gay and you'll be all full of manly essence stolen from them. You'll be the only straight one left.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The only way to fix things is to stop wiping

[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 days ago

Faeces scare the woke mind virus away

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago
[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't know how to unwoke my shit. Keep Googling it but it keeps saying it's not a word (Orwellian linguistic censorship).

I asked groKKK and I got this in response:

up-yours-woke-moralists

Hope this helps!

[–] DasRav@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

Shoulda gone to the wokesite instead.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

fry your rice in a pan, don't be a nerd

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

Not cooking in some woke chinese way.

[–] RandomUser161@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

Could always go for woke.

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

you need to get a piercing in your non-woke ear and show it to the boys

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

This is what I look like going in to work.

Is it the left ear? That's the one I have pierced.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Tell them it's not a professional thing and youre also gay off the worksite. They probably think it's a union thing where you're being gay at work when it's not your job, if you're gay off the clock as well then they cant touch you and its a great way to collect overtime

[–] himeneko@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There's nothing gay about using a grinder on the wokesite.

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

I'm mean worksite. FUCK.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Think of it as an opportunity to broaden your horizons.

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm not broadening anything except my wide wife, if you know what I mean.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Wife ~~intensifying~~ broadening