I saw an angel take a shit, then eat said shit.
God works in mysterious ways.
This reminds me of the story about some old dude's dog that always shits on my neighbor's sidewalk. One day neighbor saw that and run to that guy with scary look on his face. He started scolding old guy that he should clean after his dog and old guy respond he's too old to do that, his back hurt and stuff. The dog saw the whole thing and in a shame he just ate his own shit so poor old man didn't have to clean it up.
Kudos to the dog.
If you're unable to care for a pet, you need to find it a new home.
my angel went one level derper.
he took a shit, ate it, puked up that eaten shit, then started eating that shitty puke... which he puked.
had to throw out that sofa.
Angels attacked a friend of mine for more than 90 minutes, taking off and eating part of her legs, arms, breast and face. The paramedics that eventually brought her to the hospital were so traumatized they still have not returned to work. My friend has had 11 reconstructive surgeries so far.
#touchedbyanangel
God gives his sweetest humans to his hungriest angels.
He works in such mysterious ways. But I Trust in his greater (meal) plan
What do you expect of a homicidal god with double standards?
Have no fear, my child
B E N O T A F R A I D
Imagine a pitbull goring a toddler before looking you dead in the eyes and saying "BE NOT AFRAID"
Damn a lot of you hate dogs huh
Well I like dogs but they certainly aren't angles
Thank you for the info, now I know what I kneeded to know
Right? These comments are wild. I used to browse r/dogfree because I thought it was (mostly) satire and OTT on purpose, and I'd laugh at a lot of it. I thought it was parodying something else.
Every once in a while there'd be stories that made me empathize and feel bad for the person, like some people were saying that they had severe debilitating allergies and they couldn't frequent their favorite restaurants anymore because pet patios were installed - yeah that sucks.
Some stories were even straight up super sad, like people who were traumatized from being bitten/attacked earlier on in their lives. Yeah - I'd probably be wary of dogs too if that happened to me.
But the vast majority of those comments were like "OMG DOGS STINK AND THEY SLOBBER EVERYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THEY LICK THEIR NUTS LOL FUCK DOGS AMIRIGHT?! THEY POOP ON THE FLOOR - GROSS." I genuinely thought those were purposeful parody stories because hating dogs for just existing is such a...weird stance.
Apparently it's a thing though 🤷♀️.
Yeah I get a lot of online content is about cats, but hating dogs is just weird as hell
I saw an angel casually walk down a street with a human head in his mouth. I'd post the video but, y'know, rule 4.
Where the fuck did you have to see that?
What are you guys on about? Lucifer was an angel.
A hot, sexy angel, as the TV keeps telling me.
But let's be honest, God has killed way more people than Satan. Dude brags about it too, with his rainbows meaning
"Haha, I promise not to hit you anymore... but I could."
I can't even think of anyone Satan killed; but God's killed the whole world at least once and only promised not to do it again in the same way.
Which is funny because how would you even defy an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent being?
Though the old testament did write them more as old friends that disagreed on some things rather than bitter enemies, having bets and fucking with humans for their amusement. Kinda like the whole thing was made up by a bunch of different people at different times who didn't all have a strong grasp on what real power was and thought it required anger like a human with power that only exists because of threats of violence and were really just trying to turn their wise reputation into their own power backed by a vengeful god's power.
God with a thick rock hard dick under them robes, just throbbing at the thought of sending dogs to eat babies
Angels in the Bible: "Be not afraid"
Angels in Ultrakill: "I WILL WRITE A BIBLE STORY IN YOUR BLOOD, MACHINE!"
According to the lore, demons are fallen angels so you can keep this narrative going
My angels are really fucking stupid. And one of them killed and ate (half of) a mole yesterday.
That mole was coming right for you! That angel saved your life!
An angel pooped on my yard
Hey, angels get hungry for that succulent childflesh just like anyone else.
This tracks. The God of the Bible sent an angel to kill the first born child of every household in Egypt unless they splattered lamb’s blood over their door. (Hence the Passover)
Why God have bonar
An angel ran out in front of my truck the other day…
Be not afraid, I just got a craving for some literal baby back ribs.
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