See the world! Burn it all down!
this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
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They're going to have to really redo their advertising if they're going to attract stoners. All that advertising is about how you can see the world (and then blew it up) and get free training (in skills that are utterly useless outside of the military) and become a hero (by having your legs blown off).
All of that sounds like way too much hard work. I just want to do my 8 hours and then go home. Also virtually every civilian job pays better. It's amazing anyone joins up.
A final reminder that I'm at the crest of a hill sloping downward.
Don’t worry, you pick up speed as you go. It’s fun! See ya at the bottom!
Calling Captain Donald bone spurs, you're needed in the recruitment tent.
The Army has been fine with some criminal record workarounds for a while now. Pot use shouldn’t even be on the radar.
Mark me down as having bone spurs
I wonder if this will bring out all those big macho MAGAs, eager to fight for Dear Leader?
Yeah. And Neil Breen will win Best Director next year.
They'd have to go to military fat camp first, and then enlisted into the crutch brigade, as copied from the current Russian model.
But no beards ya god damn hippie!
Dave's not here, man.
He's at Tyrone's.
FYI, we would have to lose A LOT of soldiers before a draft makes sense. We are not even in the ballpark.
They can still fuck with a lot of people without a draft though.
Most U.S. enlistment contracts have a period of four years in the inactive ready reserves (IRR) after the normal four years of active duty. Not to mention the active reserves and national guard.
That's a lot of people leading otherwise normal, mostly civilian lives, that could get called up. Granted, that's not the same as a straight up draft - all of those people choose to sign up in some capacity.
But we have a lot of bodies on tap to churn through the human meat grinder before a draft.
Isn't that exciting and reassuring?
That's not how that works. Both of my little brothers were in different branches of the military, and they had to make a choice to decide if they'd re-sign after their 4 year enlistment.
That is how it works, I was in the U.S. military.
The choice your brothers were given at the end of their four years was whether or not to sign up for another four years of active duty. Their initial contract was almost certainly actually for eight years, including four years active duty and four years IRR.
People don't talk about the IRR because there are nearly zero requirements during that time, it's not the same as the active reserves. No reporting in, no fitness, medical, or training standards, etc. It just means you're among the first on the hook if ol' uncle sam "needs" more people ASAP, and they can legally recall you to active duty without instituting a draft.
There are exceptions for some job roles and other circumstances, but that's how the standard enlistment works.
I stand corrected, they confirmed what you're saying.
What the hell just happened? You admitted you had incorrect information and accepted the correction in a mature and civil manner?
Nah, you're supposed to dig in and argue for hours. Maybe go through my post history to inspire some ad hominem attacks. Throw in some slurs if you're feeling feisty.
I guess I'll just go back to work if you're going to help foster an environment of constructive dialogue like that.
Screw you asshole! Better? ;)
Since when does anything have to make sense?
A draft is the only method the US has of actually invading and occupying Iran. We literally don't have enough troops to do it with a volunteer army.
Occupation is a bad strategy anyway
Yeah which would make it plan A according to this administration.
It's also the only way they could actually win. Well other than just leaving, but they're not going to do that.
Except it's the only way of actually toppling the Iranian government. That's why this is quickly turning into another Vietnam. Vietnam was a quagmire because we couldn't actually invade and occupy North Vietnam without dragging the Chinese into it like in the Korean War. So we were stuck trying to fight an air war and and indirect ground campaign from within South Vietnam. It's the same exact dynamic with Iran. We can't practically do the thing actually required to win. So we're just stuck in an endless meat grinder as the Iranian government proves yet again that you can't topple a government via air strikes. And national pride won't let us just pack up and leave. It's Vietnam all over again. Can't win. Can't leave. Just stuck there until our political will finally breaks.
Never been happier to be disabled...
One of these things is good. Unfortunately, all of it is in service of getting warm bodies to participate in Operation Epstein's Fury.
Oh I don't know what is allowed~!
[Platoon: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS ALLOWED~!]
Government zah is mighty loud~!
[Platoon: GOVERNMENT ZAH IS MIGHTY LOUD!]
One puff
Two puff
Pass that shit on down the line.
Have either of you ever been convicted of a Felony?
Convicted...? No, no... Never convicted...
I think they should raise the upper and the lower limit. Let’s send 55 to 85 year olds. Maybe that way it will end sooner.
Send the politicians first. World peace achieved in 1 day.
That should be a global policy. These old fucks can start fighting their own wars for once in history
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