this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Especially if the pulldown for the birth year starts with 2026 for a service where you need to be at least x years old.

[–] m3t00@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

type the first digits, auto-scrolls to your epoc

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I have a hatchback wagon car. This is how I feel every time I close it after unloading groceries.

Spin mf-er! Mamma needs health insurance!

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

As dumb as this meme is, it also is very true... i definitely signed up for a few things recently and found myself thinking man i can't believe i gotta scroll this long, I really am old.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

Ikr the 90s keep getting further and further away

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Make sure to squat with proper form, don't wanna pull a muscle.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

IIRC there was an incident where someone went super hard on the wheel and got kind of pulled into it and clobbered on the head by one of the pins. Or maybe this was just a deep inner phobia of mine.

Any bit of machinery, even if unpowered and covered in bright numbers, with non-arbitrary mass can carry enough momentum to break bones and crush fingers

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

This is true. I don't heal like I used to.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 52 points 17 hours ago

When they ask but they start with the current year. Yes, I was born in 2026 now let me in.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That's great, God gave us many many days, all for free! 👍

On the other hand, seeing my lovely curls become slightly grayer/whiter is somewhat annoying, lol. I don't want all these reminders of my mortality when I'm not even 35! Oh well.

[–] joan@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

username checks out

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 19 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

At least at a PC you can type in the number to get it there quick. Those kinds of selection inputs on a phone suck. Like so much.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 17 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I just do January first of however far it goes with a quick swipe.

The distressing part is how that's shifted from saying I'm way older than I am to saying I'm way younger than I am.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

Younger....older....I'm all ages and nonexistant at the same time. I am a simple concept. I am insanity. I have 47 arms, 362 penises, 926 vaginas, and 626 totally new genitalia of my own unique creation which I haven't named yet.

I drive an F1 racecar to my job on the moon making space biscuits for cowboys and indians that fight each other on Jupitor.

Your mere mortal laws do not apply to me! I'm inside everybodys butthole, making it itch when you're giving a public speech.

Oh. Is that what it was?

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 6 points 14 hours ago

That's a lot of combined urethrae. How do you decide which to pee out of?

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

User name checks out.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

My first name is a random set of numbers and letters and other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever

My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole to a sussurus, couldn't just be John Doe or Bingo

My address, a made up language written out in living glyphs, lifted from demonic literature and religious text

Telephone uncovered by purveyors of the Ouija, then checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti

My social, a sudoku

My age is obscure

My 'in-case-of-emergency' is in the daisies chasing birds

Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores, and people who open doors for the people who open doors

My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo

Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow

Nervous in the service still,

I'm burger meat and purple pills

"Here, thank you. We'll call your name."

Sure you will

  • Aesop Rock, "Shrunk"
[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 4 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Are you also born in the 1900s?

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 hours ago

We're not "Millennials," we're "turn of the century people"

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

This meme has real boomer Facebook vibes; well played.