Decaf still has a fair amount of caffeine. This is clearly fake.
this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2026
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You can tell this is fake because caffeine withdrawal does NOT just cause "lethargy" people would be going home with headaches and worse.
100% this. By the afternoon the first day it would be anarchy in that office. Headaches, crabby aggression, screaming, crying.
Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?
Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?
Yah that what I find the most hard to believe, especially given the writer is sipping a monster energy drink.
Me who buys cheap packets at the nearest convenience store almost every morning.
"You have no control over me! I have my own Spice! My own desert! My Arrakis! My Dune!"
Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?
If it's coffee provided by the company for free, yes they are.
Some, but certainly not all. People have their preferred coffee, out go out for the sake of going out. Free isn't an absolute determiner of human behavior.
we have a free espresso machine and two free large cafetieres and a coffee shop where you pay on the ground floor. A lot of my colleagues still go to Starbucks across the street.
We have free coffee in our office. It's terrible. Only half the people drink it. Others buy their own.
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I mean, this is the reverse of unknowingly drugging someone, not sure if this is illegal or not, but it feels illegal lol
Pretty sure it's illegal
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LinkedIn lunatic material
Well it would have to be real and not a “lawyer meme” as well
From the moment I understood the weakness of my biology, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of the boot. I aspired to the purity of Corporate Governance. Your kind cling to your caffeine, as though it will not crash and fail you. One day the crude occupation you call a “job” will be laid off, and you will beg the Government to save you. But I am already saved, for profits are immortal… Even in death I serve the Shareholders.
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If this was remotely true the
Looked ashamed of his natural biology
Would 100% be the psycho misreading this:
Caffeine withdraw is no joke, that’s how you get a really bad migraine or worse.
Should I stop drinking caffeine? I have two in the morning(7am and 8 am) and then none for the rest of the day. Am I subjecting myself to daily caffeine withdrawal?
(I only take medical advice from random internet people btw, never LLMs or 3D doctors)
If anything, you should drink more coffee
Yup, can very much confirm.
coffee does genuinely nothing to me except make me unable to sleep at night. dont get the people that are depending on it daily
The guys at work used to give me energy drinks, strong coffee and caffeine gels in the hope of making me buzz.
I don't know if I've got a natural tolerance, or maybe because I eat a lot of dark chocolate I've built up a resistance. Caffeine doesn't do anything to me.
Also apparently it's not good to down a whole mug of coffee in one go. They used to find it funny when I did that. I don't like coffee but I'll drink it if you give it to me.
Well, many people aren't depressed, but some especially the working class and corporate workers know there is no point in their work and need stimulants to keep going and not kill themselves.
If you find fulfilling work outside of capitalist systems, you also need less stimulants.
Coffee doesn't even do that to me, nor does any caffine. Hell I can drink a monster energy right before bed
A likely indicator of ADHD
I was told that, but while I have some ADHD traits (it runs on my maternal side of the family), it's not severe enough to have a significant impact on my life. Maybe I got just enough of the genes for caffeine resistance!
Meanwhile my Audhd partner drinks coffee before they go to bed.
a coffee lover knows difference
You think these people drink coffee for the flavor?
They're addicts.
I drink coffee every day.
Flavour is certainly extremely important.
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if it was true it's abuse~
Just like corporate governance.
I remember this "prank" scribed on some BBS or web page from the early 2000's, possibly even the 90's.
Everything old is new again!
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Noob mistake!
A professional biological terrorist knows that you need to mix decaf beans and light roast beans (high in caffeine) into the bean reservoir at 50/50, resulting in randomly varying amounts of caffeine per brewing cycle/cup of coffee.
Never let their caffeine tolerance know the next move!
It's weird to me simply because I bring my own brew. Office coffee just isn't as good as my moka pot and if you've got a zojirushi or similar high quality thermos, you can have hot coffee for a majority of the day.
Meanwhile me bringing hot water to work to brew a fresh cup of tea right there :p
My KleanKanteen does the same. I was surprised how long it kept my drink actually hot (>12h).
PS: Mine haa no plastics touching the hot liquids. Only a replaceable silicone ring.
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Had he pulled it through for two weeks, the withdrawal symptoms would've worn off.
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