this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

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-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] DeadDigger@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

This is objectively transphobe

Pah, dudes give better hand jobs anyway 😎

Uhh no, I'm just jerking a tgirl off and getting jerked by a tgirl.

Not my gf, but eh, still good.

[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And I must admit I love that dude.

[–] MrChewy@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Dude, you're supposed to hate yourself, you're the same gender as yourself, so loving that person is gay!

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

This sounds like something a christian fundamentalist would say, to stop the youth from masturbating.

[–] MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wrong. My hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. She likes tacos and burritos.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 hours ago

Ben Affleck has entered the chat.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 18 points 1 day ago

Thank you off-brand skeletor!

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 73 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And y'know what? He's absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Wait, we must have the same dude!

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He's had a LOT of practice

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[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Inverse if you are a girl, everytime you masterbate you're getting fingered by a girl

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 day ago

me, a lesbian: awwwww yeah finally gettin some from a girl 😎

[–] OldQWERTYbastard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 2 days ago (30 children)

Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.

Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 145 points 2 days ago

I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 69 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago

Don't kink shame

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (4 children)

If it helps I didn't marry an asexual woman and I still get none.

Sucks to be me, plus a kid!

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

He's ugly but he's cheap.

[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago

Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 9 points 1 day ago

Yeah, but he's sooo good at it.

[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago

Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫑

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 21 points 1 day ago (4 children)

What if I'm nonbinary, tho?

Inside you are two wolves.

Both of them are gay.

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 12 points 1 day ago

There's wood in them their hands!

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