this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
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[–] OldQWERTYbastard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.

Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 146 points 2 days ago

I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 69 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago

Don't kink shame

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (3 children)

If it helps I didn't marry an asexual woman and I still get none.

Sucks to be me, plus a kid!

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] jestho@lemmy.zip 42 points 2 days ago

Easy there, Epstein

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Wait, how do you know she's not asexual?

[–] Minnels@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Well... You are not alone in this.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What is wrong with genuine affection? The least of us are that lucky. Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere. You can even buy it, if you want. But love and affection is a rare commodity you can't enforce or buy or....

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Depends if she let's him get it elsewhere? You are stuck in a dilemma of being involuntary celibate for life, in return for love.

So oof.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Would be pretty mean if she didn't. But yes...tough choice. The younger he is, the harder.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The younger he is, the harder.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago
[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere.

False

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The vast majority of people do not want to have sex with the vast majority of other people and most places prohibit fucking in them.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

OK, u just took it verbatim. You are able to fuck anyone anywhere. They might not mirror that desire to do so and the place might not be made for it. But you COULD.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I think you and I live very, very different lives that you would think that way.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Why? The pure technical ability to do so is there. Doesn't mean you should or would. Besides that wasn't even remotely my initial point.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

You missed out could. That's why we are not the same.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

OK, if you are technically unable to do the act. Which now is lightyears away from my point 😁

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

You're deliberately misinterpreting me and insulting me at the same time. There's no need for that.

You said

Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere.

And that's simply not true for most of us.

You characterised love and affection as hard to find, but I get love of various sorts readily from my wife, children and other family, and a great deal of affection from friends and some colleagues. You characterised sex as easy to find, stating I could get it anywhere and any time with anyone, and you argued with people who disagree, but the truth is that I can get sex only in my bedroom, only with my wife, only at night, and only when she is in the mood for it, and anything else is pure fiction, for me. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me.

That fact that you even think to assert that love and affection are hard to find and sex is easy to find is why we live very, very, very different lives. I'm not asking to swap, but we are NOT the same.

Maybe you mean something different than you're saying, but of you want to get your point across to us ordinary folk for whom a sex life as busy as our libido was a teenage fantasy that never turned up, you'd better start rephrasing and explaining rather than just claiming "technical" truth.

It's also "technically" true that you can get affection anywhere. Yesterday I gave a homeless guy a lift from his begging pitch outside the bus station to his tent and bought him and his girlfriend a pizza hut on the way, and he cried and hugged me. Today I met up with a bunch of friends and got about four hugs, which is totally normal for that bunch. Most people wouldn't call it love, but it's heaps of affection.

We live very different lives for you to claim what you claim.

I'm also troubled that you only said that you can't enforce love and affection. Enforcing sex is called rape. I'm guessing that you didn't mean that, but do you not see that you need to back down from some of the words and phrases that you used instead of defending them, and explain what you meant in a less provocative way?

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago

Why? What's wrong with that? A normal job and a normal transaction. Married though, I dont do this 😁

[–] DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 days ago

Your username is amazing btw

[–] Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 6 points 1 day ago

Dont worry, as parents you wouldn't (want) to see action either. You get up, handle your offspring, go to work, gethome to just handle the offspring again. Depending if they had mid-day sleep you may be allowed to do chores starting 19-23pm. Actually working is more relaxing than being 100% of the time on adrenaline because your toddler tries to hurt themselves all the time. You just lack energy for romance. Trying for a second is a chore.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Do asexual people not even want to try it, out of curiosity?

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t want to try it. Don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t even have functioning genitals on account of being intersex. I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.

Some people tell me, “well, you haven’t had the right dick or pussy yet!” And I always reply, “and you haven’t had the right arsenic yet, keep trying different kinds.”

Turns out that the wizard powers for being a forty year old virgin only apply if one ever had the option or desire to lose the virginity in the first place.

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

"I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died."

Immortal words, my friend. I commend their beauty.

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 day ago

ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.

At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it's like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don't know.

Now I'm into knitting and kumihimo.

[–] stray@pawb.social 20 points 2 days ago

It depends on the person. Some asexual people can be quite sexually active because they don't mind or enjoy helping with their partner's sexual needs even though they're not directly interested.

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How many times can you do that?

Yeah sure, few times to find out what the fuzz is about and then move on. Do you have any idea how many times people have sex in a relationship, a lot more than just a few times.

Just for clarification, I'm not ace or at least haven't accepted it and just have difficulties with libido and remembering that I'm supposed to have sex.

[–] harmony@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ace people can actually still have a strong libido! It's more about sexual attraction.

Of course, others are straight up repulsed by even the thought of sex. It's a wide spectrum.

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah, they're the lucky ones of the cursed spectrum. At least that can be taken advantage of even if there's no direct target for it.

[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago