Ugh, and here I went and got myself a husband instead.
this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2026
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Massive mistake. I have a wife, and she's pretty great. But my wife got a husband instead and he's.... okay. Definitely a step down.
My wife and I will have our 38th anniversary next month. I can 100% confirm that having a wife is great.
On the flip side we have so much fun, I talk about her so much that everybody else finds a reason to nope out.
Congratulations! More time with your wife!
Aside from the first part you don't actually need a wife to do most of that stuff. I could in theory constantly talk about a fictional wife I don't have and claim that she needed me for something so I could get out of awkward social situations.
It's easier to not need to lie.
I disagree. I firmly believe that keeping track of a handful of lies about a fictional wife is considerably easier than actually being married.
I have to return some video tapes
This is why all of my girlfriends are mad at me
And in this case the odds that you are found out are rather high. I never approve of lies, but even chronic liers generally know better than a lie that will be found out.
But then say things like “you’re crazy” “you’re insane” and “sir please put down the gun”
You can start doing most of these things right now. Just look at Lieutenant Columbo
Mrs. Columbo existed though, she even had her own spinoff.
She didn't need to exist for most of that to work though
Have wife, can confirm. It's great.
A cat or dog of whom you have pictures and stories and whom you need to feed/walk/spend time with also works
Or you could be like Scully.