this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 73 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This feel oddly real and heterosexual, I don't like it

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's fake (and gay)

Yeah, it was really a spaniel, and he didn't 'pat its back' with his hand.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 104 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wolf: "W...What the.... brain overloads from getting pet like a good boy"

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 110 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wolf: I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

I wonder if those humans have any more of those delicious pastries

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Meanwhile cats just showed up, said that they live here now. 10,000 years later, cats run the internet and more or less still the same genetically for the past 10,000 years.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

They kill rats.

Keep the granaries uninfested.

And roughly half of them also carry a parasite that rewires the brain/neurological DNA of humans via epigenetic manipulation.

Also they can be adorable.

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 66 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Ha ha, "looks like he's going to call HR for inappropriate contact"

For the record, there has never been a documented attack of a healthy wolf on a person in North America. Obviously if they get rabies or distemper or something all bets are off.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 63 points 1 day ago (4 children)

There's also never been a documented case of a wolf contacting HR

[–] Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago

There would be NDAs involved, so take that data with a grain of salt.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 15 points 1 day ago

That's because HR will anonymise the contact data before publishing

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 day ago

depends on how many furries are in your company

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago

that may be true but you should consider that HR departments are notorious for failing to document complaints from members of socially-disadvantaged groups

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Another element that could be at play here:

He thought it was a dog.

Dogs, because we domesticated them, have muscles around their eyes, that allow them to make eye/eyebrow expressions.

Wolves do not have these. Because they're the ones we did not domesticate for millenia.

So, if he was expecting dog expressions... wolves literally cannot make the same facial expressions.

They essentially always look like they have RBF, in comparison to a dog.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

There have been documented healthy wolf attacks in North America. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America

Some on the list are rabid, but the list also includes both captive and predative wolf attacks, including fatalities.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wolves can get rabies, that can be a factor for being more willing to socialize with people.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] prenatal_confusion@feddit.org 6 points 23 hours ago

TIL: I definitely don't have rabies.

The wolf his pack now calls Poptart

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No, you made a wild wolf more dangerous as it has now received food after being near a human. That wolf will now approach more people to get food.

Dog domestication took centuries to millenia. And the most dangerous predators are those that are descended from domestic or near domestic animals.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Both are true. Curious wolves approaching humans and getting/stealing food was very likely the first step in domestication.

At the same time, it still holds true that it is dangerous

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Yup, plus the friendlier ones were more likely to get fed, mean ones more likely to get killed, which resulted in more or less offspring like them. Do that for generations and voila, you're now a French bulldog

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 6 points 1 day ago

Anon is beastmaster, creating danger wolves