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CDC Stopped Monitoring Parasite, Now Causing Explosive Diarrhea Across The Country
(www.huffpost.com)
this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Yesterday: Nobody gets that anymore, we don't have to monitor it any more.
Today: Turns out, the reason nobody was getting that, was because we were monitoring it.
NOBODY could have predicted that!
Its like having a functional IT department.
The rumor is that this parasite is what killed Lindsey Graham.
It's a rumor I'm starting, so pass it along.
poor man was so anal retentive that he was full of shit.
It's why he shit was coming out of his mouth all the time. So full that it constantly backed up. Anal retention is dangerous, kids.
You're like the tenth person I've heard that from.
Am I helping?
I heard it from the mayor
You'll probably find that the EPA rollbacks we've been doing around irrigation laws is what's causing the issue in the first place. Too much poop in the salad mix.
Exactly why I don’t buy American produce, and strongly advise others against it as well.
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wait, haven't you switched to a beef tallow and raw milk diet yet?
MAGAts are bringing so many good things to America.
We should all be thanking our local magats by getting them fired from their jobs, even if it means lying, and stomping them in the streets
When we said the US were becoming a shithole... we didn't expect them to become one so literally.
Speak for yourself.
We took a personification of disease, and made him Health Secretary. Dafuq did we expect would happen?
Shitting ourselves is far from the worst case scenario here.
One of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, shit, I figured death would be more intimidating though, not just an over privileged moron
He's clearly Pestilence
I thought they were death, war, conquest and famine, though maybe famine and pestilence go together
You are correct, apparently a lot of media/fiction authors swap conquest to pestilence because they feel like it's too close to war.
I had to look it up specifically for pestilence because I was so confused how I got the idea.
So yeah I had that wrong, biblical speaking
Pratchett does Death, War, Famine and Pestilence
. Which is where my knowledge of them comes from!Thief of time spoiler
(And Kaos)
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Don't look up!
That's because the parasite got into Ole Gravel Gullet's brain, fucked the dead worm, and then hijacked his last 6 brain cells to make the old bastard his puppet.
that worm, is called HEROIN it destroyed his brain, and he used heroin to drive one of his family members to OD.
A crazy person can have more than one thing be wrong with him. Maybe the Trump Diarrhea parasite came for the heroin but stayed for the worm carcass?
'member when we stopped monitoring pandemic hotbeds like Wuhan? I 'member
Or the flesh-eating screwworm flies?
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Witnessing the fall of an empire in real time
Putin's trying to out-do us. 'hold my beer'
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The age of men is over. The time of poopie doop has begun.
Heeey, the less we monitor it, the easier it gets to monitor it. That's a win win!
It's because the worm in his brain is constantly spewing verbal diarrhea.
Brainworm man is pro worm. long live shitworm disease.
Is there any chance that his brain worm might finish the job? I’ve had enough about hearing of his continuing insanity and would like for him and his boss to go away.
way i hear it, the poor little guy starved to death...
It had died in his brain, from what I remember him having said.
Maybe it laid eggs in there before dying. It's what I would have done.
Maybe it couldn't because it died from low-quality food.
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"Hurr", explained Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr, further elucidating with, "Duh-Durr!"
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Makes sense, they don't want any harm done to their own species
I mean, we all learned that is the best way to reduce cases...
Huffpost Stopped Using Punctuation in Article Titles Now Causing Even Worse Titles are Unreadable
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This whole current government is basically explosive diarrhea.
This is just the literal manifestation of that fact.
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makes it go away faster
Worthy of Onion News.
Politician well known for explosive diarrhea also found associated with recent parasite
The pedophile in chief felt lonely being the only one with shit in his pants all the time
CDC should never have taken their eyes off Jr... I knew he was gonna cause something.
It's not within their power. This MAHA thing is supported by the Trump regime and the Project 2025 behind it. https://www.project2025.observer/en
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