651
submitted 9 months ago by frippa@lemmy.ml to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

I'm a financial advisor and you should take this seriously

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[-] MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world 68 points 9 months ago

Yeah but sucking that much dick is difficult when you don't have the heroin to forget...

[-] WereCat@lemmy.world 57 points 9 months ago
  • Find a $500k house for sale
  • Don't buy it
  • You just saved $500k
  • Repeat
[-] redballooon@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

woah, just last week I didn't buy a $3m villa. I gotta check my balances.

[-] Lexam@lemmy.ca 25 points 9 months ago

That's $109,500 a year before taxes. Not bad but not rich.

[-] takeda@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That's the money you save by not using heroin, not income, you should not need to pay taxes on it.

It’s definitely not, at least by my math. 300/8 (for an 8 hour day) is 37.5 an hour. 40 hours a week makes this 1,500. 52 weeks in a year is 78,000. A much lower number.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 24 points 9 months ago

Tried this but I now have debt with people that want to hurt me. Help.

[-] takeda@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

Fight hate with love. You need more dick sucking to pay your debt. Remember, don't do it for free.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Just sell your kneecaps. Win-win since they can no longer break them.

[-] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Funny thing is I actually lived that life. I was a heroin addict, I got to the point of needing $200-$300 daily to get me by. Part of my motivation for quitting was the thought that I would have so much money for whatever once I kicked the habit... and once I got off the shit, I no longer had that kind of money. I guess I wasn't desperate enough to figure out schemes to make that much every day. So this meme is bullshit! I thank the gods I didn't end up a prostitute at least... but I would probably have more money if I did. Damn it.

[-] bitsplease@lemmy.ml 9 points 9 months ago

Out of curiosity - what schemes were you cooking up for that kind of money? Given that you said you didnt end up a prostitute the obvious answer is out lol

[-] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

I was a functioning addict, and had a job where I was able to tweak the records here and there to make more every day than I should have... by a couple hundred. It was amazing how incompetent the boss man was.

[-] bitsplease@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago

That's wild, can't believe they didn't notice thousands missing every month..

Glad you got clean before things caught up

[-] pipe01@lemmy.pipe01.net 3 points 9 months ago

Damn, $300 daily is a crazy amount of money

[-] meliaesc@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

$50/hr at a standard 9-5, ignoring the need for basic necessities like shelter or food.

[-] DrQuint@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I've told this to smokers all my life. By quitting cigars they could have 2 extra ice creams plus some cheetos every day. Yeah those were my metrics when I started, I refuse to change them.

[-] Darkhoof@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

But then they would eventually become obese.

[-] remotelove@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago

I think the real benefit is discovering what it is like to be in a pure and absolute state of desperation trying to find enough money to get the next fix.

You could become a heroin addict, or a CEO that is about to report during earnings season. There is little to distinguish the two when you look at it.

[-] BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

One could end up in prison in the process of making the needed money and the other is a CEO

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

How to get rich:

  1. Get lots of money
  2. ??????????
  3. Profit
[-] jcdenton@lemy.lol 3 points 9 months ago

You forgot the 20,000 in rehab therapy

[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

You pay it off in 2 months though.

this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
651 points (98.7% liked)

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