271
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by frippa@lemmy.ml to c/linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works

Seriously, "Ensure the CEO sleeps before a certain time"

With all those skills, tasks and resposabilites they're asking for a fucking full-stack babysitter...

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[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 113 points 1 year ago

How is a person who can't manage their own meals and bedtime able to manage a company?

[-] frippa@lemmy.ml 66 points 1 year ago

As per the post it's a shit coin company; the "CEO" is gonna work at McDonald's in a couple of ~~years~~ months.

[-] SlikPikker@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 year ago

It's almost like the management class are mainly unproductive parasites who can't wipe their own asses.

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tbf it looks very suspicious, Malaysia, No family, no place of residency, coin something....

This type of jobs do exist but no company would look for this kind of job with so much responsability and access to sensitive information on likedin. Those type of jobs are either internal promotion or head hunted with classified information until later in the interview process

[-] elvith@feddit.de 89 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Any chance, that this CEO just got divorced and has no motivation to work and wants you to replace his wife and do his and his wifes tasks?

maid-like tasks as needed

Uhm… so, about that…

[-] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 year ago

The "no family or personal committments" part is even more concerning I think.

[-] Very_Bad_Janet@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

Is that even legal to state?

[-] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

I think as a requirement it wouldn't be an enforceable in a contract, which is why they're referring to it as a preference or suggestion.

[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 9 points 1 year ago

If this is real, someone's bound to do it. Probably pays well, good travel, and basically write what you want on your resume. Just quit before the inevitable sexual harassment starts.

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

More likely, Mommy and Daddy cut him off from their staff because of too many payoffs.

[-] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 77 points 1 year ago

"CoinClan"
Yeah, some time in the not so distant future, that paycheck is gonna bounce.

[-] frippa@lemmy.ml 37 points 1 year ago

But heeeyyyy! You can get paid in their shitcoin that will totally be worth more than an infinitesimal fraction of a cent, just two more weeks!

[-] Thrashy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I'd only consider the position if I could figure out a way to manipulate the CEO into executing a rugpull that I engineered to my benefit...

[-] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 47 points 1 year ago

Starts off reasonable, drives off the cliff of down right crazy, all for the price of a "competitive salary"

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 46 points 1 year ago

This is listed as "remote"? How would this even remotely be accomplished if not in person? That CEO is gonna be under CPS soon.

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 51 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Remote is the "hottest" section of job sites, so stupid companies will list every job under "remote" on the off chance that someone looking for remote work will accept non remote work.

The shittier ones will even tell you its remote up until the interviews, when it will suddenly be "hybrid" remote, i.e not remote.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hybrid 99.9̅% in-office

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 42 points 1 year ago

Not just that but it sounds like a trafficking scam. No friends or family: wtaf?!

[-] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It weirdly says "remote". 🤔

[-] floofloof@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

You will be, once they've abducted you.

[-] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 41 points 1 year ago

So they basically are getting the CEO job without getting compensated properly since they are "just" PA level. Fantastic.

[-] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 year ago

Pretty much every PA

[-] StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

So this guy basically needs a full-time mother.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago

It mostly reads as "extreme" but fair enough for a very well paid PA with a company credit card until you get to the compensation. Then its idiotic.

This is a job description for 2 people making $100,000 each. Or one insane person who wants to make $200k.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

These are things any able person does for themselves.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

Ok lets just set aside that this particular job listing is bullshit.

Hypothetically if your rich and travel alot for work its not unreasonable that you might not have time to find a gym and a trainer yourself. Organising the meals isnt unreasonable, if by that you mean finding a chef, making sure the hotels menu is sufficient and so on.

The bed time one sounds like B.S but if you're the kind of person who gets caught up on projects and then realises its 3am, its not ridiculous either.

Like I said, Im pretty sure this listing is for an absolutely insane person. But at least it sets clear expectations.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Most of these can be solved by either setting an alarm or reading.

Nobody this helpless is staying up until 3 AM doing anything useful.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

How many times do I have to qualify that I dont think this is someone who is legit?

Personal Assistants exist so that people who have the means (probably not this guy) dont have to do mundane shit like remember to set alarms and if they are willing to adequately compensate someone for that level of work (which this twit isnt) then go for it.

If I won the lottery, Id have a housekeeper and a lawn guy because although I now dont have anything better to do, I still dont want to do that shit.

If someone wants to offer me $200k a year to handle all his mundane shit and water his bonsai with EXACTLY 30ml of water every 2 days my response would be "Tap, filtered or demineralised?" not "why dont you do it your fucking self?"

[-] adrian783@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

housekeeper, lawn guy, bug guy, handyman. (basically a residence team for each of my properties as I might travel often). nutritional team, personal training team, and a traveling personal assistant.

doctors on retainer too.

what else am I missing?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago
[-] oleorun@real.lemmy.fan 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

CEOs are a special breed of narcissist. They can't feel important unless they know someone else is essentially sacrificing his or her or their life for a self-important douchenozzle.

[-] Rooty@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  • Ensure that the CEO is burped after every meal.
  • Make a nappy check on CEO every half hour and change accordingly.
  • Provide the entertainment in the form of peek-a-boo and "got your nose" games.
  • Put CEO in bed ahead of schedule in the case of late evening temper tantrums.
[-] ech@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

Just missing "Make sure to wipe promptly so as to avoid rashes". Fucking hell.

this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
271 points (97.9% liked)

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