GiveOver

I thought only humans went to heaven. It's a real can of worms otherwise. Do worms go to heaven? Mosquitos? Bacteria? Viruses?

What makes me sad about heaven is that there must be a cutoff in the monkey -> human evolution chain. What happened to the very first human that met that cutoff? They'll be in heaven but their parents are too monkey and didn't make it :(

Well I know what to do if my gardener buddy ever pisses me off

I found the article and "Essex Man" seems to be an archetype, not a specific man from Essex. I've never heard the term before. Bad headline

Hooray, you have better security than Apple, who won't let me use my own email because some idiot in Australia used it first.

Just spit it out already. Stop being weird and cryptic, we can't read your mind. What's wrong with this poster?

He couldn't have lied, that's a sin

Hi it's still broken on my machine. I've tried turning it off and on again

But make sure you get yourself into a nighttime pissing habit first, for the lolz

Maybe, but it's just not the same if you can plug your keyboard back in and fix it. CURSE YOU USB

I believe everybody should get a downvoted comment every now and then. Have a real opinion, people!

(I mean things like enjoying Nickelback or hating dogs. No bigotry)

I loved the PCs that had Ctrl + up as a shortcut to flip the monitor orientation. I think it was a Dell thing?

My favourite prank was to flip the screen upside down then unplug the keyboard. Good luck saving your work fuck face