I fuck myself over by sharing things I don’t need to, and being too honest regarding those things. Sucks that it took this for me to finally learn my lesson. I’ve really fucked myself over this way.

Couple months ago I was sent $4K by someone who just wanted me to be happy. I had literally never in my entire life had money to spend like that. It was a once in a lifetime kind of thing—I know that all too well now.

I almost bought a really fucking nice Jeep Grand Cherokee, with tags good for a whole year, already passed DEQ. Then I listened to a friend who said I should buy a car made by a Japanese company (Honda, Toyota, etc.). So the opportunity passed and never repeated itself. It was only $1,700.

I didn’t spend it all on drugs. I spent maybe a quarter of it just helping my friends out—I sent $400 to an old friend who’s homeless in Austin, TX; I ordered a fuck ton of DoorDash for my friends and I.

I also wasted a lot of it. I’d go buy something stupid, break it or lose it and buy another one. I was careless.

I loved being, for a brief moment in time, like my friends who have seemingly endless money either from rich parents or ripping off Uncle Sam.

It’s my dream to be some sort of content creator—I’ve always had a thing for writing that’s never been executed beyond just like, a private hobby. Like an old friend of mine who draws and makes art and doesn’t really show anyone. Making videos or whatever, too. That’d be cool. Then I can live off Patreon (even if it isn’t much, I’d still be happy—the things I hate about being homeless aren’t the being homeless part, per se).

I believe I deserve a second chance and I know that if I were given one, I would be way more responsible.

But that’s never going to happen. Everyone knows what a fuck up I am now and as winter approaches, I’m legit scared.

I’m sorry.

I’m not trying to fuel my drug abuse and party and shit (tbh right now I don’t even need money for that bahaha). Meth is fucking lame and I hate it anyways.

I just want my knees to stop hurting like fuck whenever I stand up and sit down. I want this brain fog I get from not eating to clear. I want a cozy sleeping bag, clean clothes and facial cleanser. I want to fill in these sunken cheeks and smooth this dry nasty skin. I want to be able to just chill and read or sew or something instead of trying to find breakfast at 4PM. I just want to have a life again.

Mine are:

1. Cumin

2. Cinnamon

3. Chilli powder

4. Herb de province

5. Dill

Think I've got Havana syndrome.

No but seriously - the state of the world right now - feels like every contradiction inherent to capitalism has erupted in the past few days.

Climate. Imperialism. 'Democracy'. Media bullshit.

Maybe my life's personal stress is compounding it at the moment too, but fuck me. I am so mad at the moment.

I find myself typing like a milennial cringelord, my replies filled with 'fuck shit assfucker fucking come at me shitfucker' type posts. I find myself not bothered to put effort into responses when a rage filled uppunctuated mess feels so right.

I often tell people not the mald. It's easy to get stirred up about online crap. I recognised this habit, this feeling of enjoying being mad, but in an unproductive way, and I stopped doing it. I never do it with singular issues anymore. I don't get into internet debates. I let it ride.

But these last few days? Its making me insane. It's one thing to recognise it going down. It's another thing for society to make me feel like IM the one that's overreacting.

And to think, I voted for Kier fucking Starmer.

And next election, I'll be forced to do the same so that Tories don't get in. And I know, electoralism is a sham, but I don't think people comprehend just how bad Tories have been for Britain in the last 20 years. Especially for my sector. I do find Labour - even Starmer's Labour - a lot better in quite a few ways. But on key issues? I fucking hate them. I hate them with all my bile. Maybe I need to just move to Corbyn's borough so I can make sure he stomps some ghoul again.

Anyway. I'm fine.

But as I sit here anticipating the new wave of absolute garbage propaganda I'm going to be fed over the coming weeks, a vignette from a Chinese movie called A Touch Of Sin comes to mind, based on real events.

Dahai's corrupt boss screws him.

Over and over. [SPOILERS] So he shoots him.

He also shoots some guy who is abusing a horse. And some other relatively innocent bystanders.

Anyway. I don't mean this as a call to adventurism. I would never kill my local politician or anything, not only because my life so far means I would find it very difficult to take another human life, but also because it is totally counter productive. But as a concept? As a piece of art on screen? The ultimate expression of a 'dog-eat-dog' world turned towards those who like it that way, is certainly satisfying to watch. As are many tales of vigilante justice.

Anyway, here's another still:

I think the stills could be great emotes if it wasn't so on the nose to interpret uncharitably. Undoubtedly goes hard.

Whixh way westerd man

need a good laugh

Keep myself dry and tearless for the rest of the day 'cause I don't have time for that display when I'm daily taking on my enemies, adversaries, opponents, nemesi, and foes.

What shpuld i put on it ????

It's the kind with the long spindly legs. Last I saw it was sitting on a washcloth on the side of my bathtub, probably trying to catch a peek of my butt.

Edit: photo of the spider

Not sure how to deal w it. He was a fun guy to work with. He's a good person, but pretty crazy. This is the second time he decided he reeeeallly had to make a hard sell. I'm agnostic. I feel like it's gonna really offend him bc he sent me paragraphs about the religious text and I simply don't care. But I don't wanna hurt his feelings. This time... Science proves it.

Can I have it both ways? I'm not gonna be an Islamic but I still wanna be his friend. but he's being so weird about it and I'm bad about confrontation. I'm cool with his choices but damn

Today was the first time Iran used the Fatah-1 (and 2) hypersonic missile system. Do we know how many got past the arrow and David's Sling systems?

I want to learn about how things became the way they are over there and what the people go through but, you know, not from someone in the CIA.

Edit: I got Iran: A Very Short Introduction from a library near me. Don’t at me. Before I’m through, gimme some recs or I’ll get another book and before you know it, I’ll have read all the lib books on Iran and y’all will have no one but yourselves to blame for turning me anti-Iran.

I remembered lib.rehab was directed to hexbear, but now redirects to lemmy.world. Is there a particular reason why it changed? I always thought it was a pretty good bit

I work a travel job where meals are covered, and on my first monthlong work order, napkin maths says I will have just under 10k at the end of it.

Coming from a life where I lived in overdraft and HEROES act was peak living, I have no real idea what to do with this much skrilla.

I use a budgeting app that autopulls from my acccounts, and those show that I spend about $1200 per month without rent expenses.

I aim to put about a third of this money inyo index funds, and do mutual aid where I can, but am wondering what are some things more experienced chapos can offer to take into consideration when budgeting.

Move in is the next few weeks. I've lived on my "own" (roommate I never interacted with) for a couple months my last semester of college, but that was a temporary setup whereas I'm hopefully moving out for good this time.

Bear in mind that the place has window/wall A/C and electric heating.

Things I'm already considering:

• Drain guard
• Bidet
• Cold brew coffee maker
• Rice cooker
• Space heater? I'd like to keep the temp largely down during the winter to save money while warming up the part of the place I'm in
• Key for washer/dryer

Things I already have:

• Most furniture
• Air fryer
• Seltzer water thingy
• Meal prep containers

General advice is also welcome!

I know we have quite a few comrades here… so years ago, I learned about canal boats. The whole things seems really cool and cozy to me. However, I also get the impression that it’s generally considered very boring. Have you gone on a canal boat trip before? Did you enjoy it?

Tomorrow not paying back student loans actually means something again. I don't wanna go back to paying again but I'm not sure the ratio of debt strikers to student debt collector mafias is in our favor

Serious post here, what are your predictions? Do the US sign on for a subscription to Hitler or Hitler+? What makes you believe this?

My take: Harris eeks out a victory, based on the vibes I get. She may flip NC too. I think that second part because the overall trend of polling has had her slowly increasing on average there. AZ is flipping back to Trump this go around.

Second possibility I see is that the electoral college shenanigans the GOP is angling for in NE actually results in the first ever tie. Supreme court gives it to Trump even though he loses the popular vote. Libs say "ah well, never the less".

Either way, I think there's going to be hog riots in MI, PA, and NC if it flips.

I posted this on /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns but on further reflection that was possibly an error because it's a question about cis. Since I'm seeking ideas that would be relevant to a cis person it would be better to pose the question more widely. Trans people probably don't spend much time reading stuff describing why they are human and debunking arguments to the contrary so might not have such sources on the tip of the tongue.

The original thread has lots of good answers and I am mulling them over and following sources. So you should read them if you are interested.

Hope it's not ridiculous to x-post myself. :/

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3576012

I don't know if any CW are required for this but if so suggest them and I will add. I'm not mentioning any particular hateful things; just the presence of them.

---

An old comrade of mine has fallen into the grips of anti trans bigotry.

It has been happening for 10+ years and I have raised the issue multiple times when we've been together or in touch. They downplayed their investment in the ideas.

Recently I have learned that it has crept into their mass organizing. This person is an excellent, committed, powerful organizer working for years at a local level.

I think they are now getting in to organizing explicitly on anti-trans grounds. They have capacity to be highly effective at this. But really it is the integration of anti-trans stuff into legitimate mass organizing work that is more dangerous. My understanding is that they are seeking to orient these orgs against the interests of trans people and to exclude trans people and even trans-allied people from organizing.

This person made many key political contributions to who I am. Much of the good I have done as an organizer is due to their influence on me. Without them I would have ended up the most insufferable kind of lib. On a personal level, it breaks my heart to see this has happened to a dear friend. I feel compelled to attempt to return the wisdom and patience they afforded me when I needed it, and offer them a better perspective, help them be a better organizer.

I plan to attempt intervention. We live far away from each other but do keep occasional contact. Less so over recent years just due to being on different social media platforms. I could get some correspondence and maybe a phone call to discuss this on the basis of our long standing relationship. I would offer to maintain the dialogue on going if they were willing.

• general advice?
• have you tried this and if so how did it go?
• is there hope?
• some kind of FAQ covering anti-trans misinformation; more in-depth and comprehensive would be better (for me to read)
• writing/ideas aimed specifically at communists/socialists
• theory to understand trans* from marxist/materialist perspective
  • I know this sounds stupid but they already have theory to hate trans*
• This person is coming at it from a TERF (as in actual old school radical feminsm) perspective, not a right-wing/fash perspective
• The idea of "bourgeois decadence" is important here. It's not something I ever found to be very compelling so I don't have much analysis to counter it.

• Added in the crosspost: This video Trans Liberation & Marxism: Is Gender Identity Actually Anti-Materialist? | Let's Talk Patriarchy provides the idea of "sexual metaphysics" around the 20-minute mark and I'd like to know if folks think it is a useful road to pursue?

Of course I have my own ideas and knowledge but I'm sure all of the above has been perfected so I want to make sure I have the best at top of mind.

This person is pretty stubborn, as required to be a lifelong revolutionary. So I know I'm not going to turn the ship around in one conversation. I am considering strategy of reformism or harm reduction. For example if I could convince them to avoid bringing these ideas into their organizing, even while still holding them privately, it would be a benefit.

As title states I’m looking to dispose of a bunch of 200mg/ml liquid synthetic nicotine I’ve had stored in Boston round bottles for the last three-four years. It’s an artifact from when I used to vape and I’m tired of it taking up freezer space.

In its current form it is extremely toxic to just about goddamned everything. In its current potency it is even more of a hazard to everything. I’d like to dispose of it, properly. I’ve already called my local landfill and they will not accept it. I dunno where else to put it, or how else to make it inert.

Does anyone have suggestions for how to do so? It’s about 5 liters, btw. I also have about 100-ish bottle of flavorants from when I used to mix my own vape juices. I think those can just be emptied into a wad of paper towels and disposed of conventionally.

like a well-meaning kind of guy, not a macho guy

Need help

Basically a repost pf things I said in the mega, but anecdotally I'm hearing that sales of fiction read by men are dropping precipitously, and English and literature classes in colleges are now dominated by women. It seems like young men are not being exposed to literature in the same way that they used to. Like, when I was in high school and college, you could be a "bro" kind of guy and read Chuck Palahniuk, or Hunter S. Thompson, or David Foster Wallace. For decades, authors like Hemmingway and Bukowski found receptive audiences in young men, not to mention all the crime fiction, horror, sci-fi, and fantasy that men have traditionally consumed. The "guy in your English class who loves David Foster Wallace" was a stereotype for a reason. I read in another thread that music is less culturally important to young men than it used to be. It seems like younger men just straight up see no value in reading literature or fiction, or exposing themselves or critically engaging with art and music, because the algorithms just railroad them into Alpha Gridset world.

Am I wrong about this? Am I being condescending and out of touch, or is this a real thing that's happening, where the whole "male" culture is turning into grindset podcasts and streamers?

Edit: Okay, so the impression I'm getting is that everything is worse but also kind of the same as it ever was, which sounds right.