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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Chronicon@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

From the perspective of someone who sometimes has some cash to redistribute on here, I just want to provide some feedback on the semi-recent rule changes in this comm. I don't think all of them are working and I think this comm needs just a little bit more attention to rectify the situation!

First, and I hope least controversial: the sidebar desperately needs to be updated to reflect the actual updated rules.

Second, similarly uncontroversial, the rules should generally actually be enforced. Not enforcing them consistently is worse than not having them in some cases. This ties into several other issues.

Third thing, clarity is needed on whether or not payment details are allowed in the form of not (immediately) personally identifiable usernames. The rule rn says PII/opsec leaks aren't allowed and that payment links aren't, but usernames seems more gray. I thought that usernames weren't allowed at all until I re-read the post, and judging by the variety of different approaches to providing payment details in recent posts, I'm not the only one unsure.

Fourth thing, I think that strongly encouraging people to update their posts when they receive aid is a good thing for helping spread the community's limited aid resources around more where they are needed most. That's good guidance and I wish everyone did it!

Fifth, and to me personally, one of the most important, I am less likely to send money, if I have to effectively dox myself to the poster to do it, and when I have to ask for payment details over DM, that's basically what I'm doing (its trivial to correspond who I am by timing and payment method, even if multiple people do send them money, doubly so over multiple different posts over time). It's one thing for them to know my name or my venmo or whatever, but when they can tie that name to a specific hexbear account I start to go from "keeping the risk in mind" to "I don't think that's a risk I'm willing to take". So while I can understand the urge to not have posters dox themselves, the reverse is also true.

Sixth, as a result of having to DM for payment details (both because of the doxing risk and just the extra steps for both parties), mutual aid posters are currently incentivized to violate or skirt around grey areas of the rules if they want to get more aid. Combined with the lax enforcement/unclear rule, this creates a really sucky situation where people in need are punished monetarily for trying to follow the rules.

Seventh, related to #2/maybe #1 and others, I am of the opinion the comm probably needs another mod or two, it's pretty active and can be a fraught topic when there are disputes, and currently there only seems to be one active mod?

A further revision of the rules to explicitly allow non-doxxing payment methods to be published, followed by an update to the sidebar, would be greatly appreciated tbh. Or something like that. I appreciate all the work done to keep this site safe and functional and such, but these little issues have been nagging at the back of my mind for months now and needed to get out.

Thoughts?

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by CARCOSA@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

Hello users of Hexbear, I am making this post to notify all users of the following:

Going forward comments giving unsolicited advice will be removed, comments that are critical of any mutual aid post or user will be removed, posts containing opsec leaks will be removed, posts containing payment links will be removed.

Posts containing personally identifiable information (PII) will result in a temporary ban from the mutual aid community

Posts or comments that state specific amounts received will be removed, please consider editing the title of a mutual aid post to include the mutual aid request has been received.

We strongly advise you ask people to send you a direct message to obtain information regarding payment.

Consider not make comments about getting large anonymous donations or about what the money gets spent on.

If you want to make a meta comment, provide advice/resources or hold another user accountable, then please make a separate post in this community but do not ping them or specifically/explicitly link their hexbear account to another hexbear account.

Users cannot assume that any post has been vetted and must do their own investigation.

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*Update: Having a bit of a medical emergency, have a hunch it’s due to an ulcer having been bleeding fairly consistently lately as i recognize the pain im having a bit - but also having other symptoms that are increasingly worrying and really could use help with transportation and Urgent Care costs + whatever comes with it. Not sure how much exactly but it’ll probably end up being 100-150+ by the end AT LEAST of figuring this out if anyone can please help/is able to spare anything. I know how hard it is for everyone atm now though.

Hello again everyone, hate having to make these posts and I really wish there was something else i could do :( For a quick recap ~ my wife and I are homeless and disabled, and lost pretty much all of our family over the past year and have no friends around so zero support system. We currently have been able to manage staying in a sleezy motel, and thanks to you guys have been able to stay off the streets thus far.

I was advised that I should perhaps start fundraising for next months rent a bit earlier so it isn’t a last minute desperate nail biting affair as to whether we’ll be on the street or not - for reference, again, it costs $55/day, $250/week, or $650/month if paid in advance. Any help is greatly appreciated and I can’t say enough how much it means to us. We’re in a really hard spot just in general as we lost half our food stamps and due to the stoppage of the Affordable Connectivity Program we’ve had to start paying for phone service as well which is extremely vital, and we do not have a vehicle and stay in an area lacking good public transport so we have to basically rideshare to anywhere we’ve got to go unless it is extremely close as I’m completely unable to walk most days and only can manage a short distance when I can due to an injury. This is just to say again, absolutely anything is greatly appreciated.

Have more or less given up on the laptop battery for now, but phone bills are due extremely soon which is absolutely vital! For both it’s about ~$90

For the bajillionth time because I can’t express this enough, thank you so much everyone. We should hopefully be out of this situation come November sometime. Fingers crossed 🥹❤️🚩

~ Just as an update, we’ve actually received around $250 total. Unless received somewhat in bulk/at once/close together it’s very hard to save as there’s a lot of other things we need help with but we’re doing our utmost to save what we can towards the upcoming room fee.

Cashapp- $goldenratio1123 PayPal ~ @ iwannadaisuki Can DM if having any trouble finding me on these platforms and for Venmo or Zelle.

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Title. DM me for my email. It's totally anonymous on your end, I don't see any of your personal info.

Thanks if you can help penguin-love

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My friend lost his job due to some absolute bullshit and im scared for him

remote obviously

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Update from yesterday's post on needing help with my rent, thank you to everyone who has helped! I'm very close now, just 60 bucks away! I'm in awe at everyone's generosity and kindness, thank you to everyone who bumped the thread too! You're the kinds of people who would defend and aid a stranger from losing shelter - you're real heroes of the working class. I'm so grateful to share this world with you.

cri

Thank you for your solidarity!

Care-Comrade

CashApp: $justanotherbug

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submitted 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) by ClathrateG@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

Hello, I'm a short about £70 due for rent and utilities, any amount that you can contribute will help me and my family enormously.

More details on request by DM

Thanks comrades rat-salute-2

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submitted 22 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) by RiotDoll@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

I hurt my back trying to work out yesterday (son of a bitch)

I can barely move, and i have no ibuprofen or anything here.

I also need food, and because i'm gonna have to walk my ass to the same store either way I'd like to handle both things if possible, but i'm totally broke as shit.

if you can help, it would mean a lot. I have about $3 in total between my card and change, and that's not enough to get anything.

edit: thank you!!!! this community is very kind.

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update from yesterday's post - I got my paycheck and now know exactly how much I need to safely make rent, I'm just $180 away. Then I can settle my anxiety, work this new job, and finally unclench my jaw. Any help would mean a lot. Even if you can't help, thank you for your solidarity and love

heart-sickle

CashApp: $justanotherbug

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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by HumongousChungus@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

screm-a

Hey. My friend who recently moved to be able to transition has gotten her car stolen and lost the work she had gotten upon getting here. I'm a bit embarrassed not to be able to help her out much financially. If you could contribute, it would be really amazing. She's someone who's done a lot of work to build up community and help others out in the ways available to her.

It's also very difficult for her to ask for help directly. She wouldn't be doing so unless it was urgent and necessary. I hope that you can help her weather this crisis and protect the new life she's building for herself.

https://gofund.me/3d2ac532

screm2

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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by DisabledAceSocialist@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

As mentioned on here previously, I'm going through a disability benefit appeal and have no money at all. So I have no way of getting any little thing I need. I'm very thankful to have been helped on here to get some food previously. I've run out of toiletries, I need toothpaste, dental floss, shampoo, soap, sanitary pads, laundry detergent, toilet paper and painkillers. However now the DWP (the nazis who run the UK benefit system) are checking people's bank accounts, I don't think I can dare to accept money any more in case I can't explain to them why people are paying me money. If anyone would be willing to order the things I need off boots.com or amazon and have them sent to me I would be really grateful.

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cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3602008

Ok so this one is an emergency post for an old partner and good friend of mine, she is a single mother of three works full time pays all her bills and buys food clothes and provides everything for her family all by her self. Now she has fallen on some hard times and could use some support from whomever and wherever she can do I'm doing a emergency fund raiser to get her power back on, you can send any donations to her and her family via my cash app just put : power bill on it ,$paresomelove thank anyone that helps her she's good people. Sorry almost forgot her bill is around 1200 she had to let it slide to pay rent.

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Ok so this one is an emergency post for an old partner and good friend of mine, she is a single mother of three works full time pays all her bills and buys food clothes and provides everything for her family all by her self. Now she has fallen on some hard times and could use some support from whomever and wherever she can do I'm doing a emergency fund raiser to get her power back on, you can send any donations to her and her family via my cash app just put : power bill on it ,$paresomelove thank anyone that helps her she's good people.

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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by an_actual_pigeon@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

I'm so sorry for making this post, I really wish I didn't have to ask for help, but it's exceptionally urgent. I've exhausted all of my other options and I don't know where else to go.

I've been doing hard labor nearly every day the past month, backbreaking cargo deliveries, and it's still not enough. I'm starting a new job next week with much better pay and hours, but in the interim I'm worried I won't be able to make rent and pay my bills. I'm so exhausted and at my wit's end and I don't want to let my roommates down - they're very kind people.

I feel like I'm on fire with anxiety, just totally on edge. Fiscal instability really fucks with your ability to think. I get my last paycheck tomorrow, but I have a very sure gut feeling that it won't be enough for rent. The worst part is that the way my last job cuts my checks and doles out hours and tips, I have no idea how much the check will be until the day they pay me, so I'm not even sure how short I'm going to be on my rent and bill payments. I figure I'd be secure with an extra $600, but I'm also not sure how appropriate or realistic that is to ask for from relative strangers on the internet. Anything anyone can contribute or share at all would mean a lot.

I've cut down everything I can. I already live extremely modestly, practically an ascetic. I go to a food bank every Saturday and check local food pantries regularly, I've sold everything I have of any value, I only have two pairs of shoes and those are slowly disintegrating. I feel like the world is telling me I don't deserve anything more - hell, by capital's logic, I probably don't deserve a safe home. I feel powerless, it's scary nerve-wracking stuff.

If there's anything I can do in return to show my gratitude, if you need help writing or proofreading or video editing or transcription or IT help or graphic design work or advice or anything, anything at all, please let me know.

Even if nobody is able to contribute, thank you so much to hexbear and everyone on this site, for your solidarity, for inspiring hope in my soul, and for making the world a much less scary place. I really feel the healing love of comradeship here, and I deeply appreciate all of you.

CashApp: $justanotherbug

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Hello again everyone, hate having to make these posts and I really wish there was something else i could do :( For a quick recap ~ my wife and I are homeless and disabled, and lost pretty much all of our family over the past year and have no friends around so zero support system. We currently have been able to manage staying in a sleezy motel, and thanks to you guys have been able to stay off the streets thus far.

I was advised that I should perhaps start fundraising for next months rent a bit earlier so it isn’t a last minute desperate nail biting affair as to whether we’ll be on the street or not - for reference, again, it costs $55/day, $250/week, or $650/month if paid in advance. Any help is greatly appreciated and I can’t say enough how much it means to us. We’re in a really hard spot just in general as we lost half our food stamps and due to the stoppage of the Affordable Connectivity Program we’ve had to start paying for phone service as well which is extremely vital, and we do not have a vehicle and stay in an area lacking good public transport so we have to basically rideshare to anywhere we’ve got to go unless it is extremely close as I’m completely unable to walk most days and only can manage a short distance when I can due to an injury. This is just to say again, absolutely anything is greatly appreciated.

Have more or less given up on the laptop battery for now, but phone bills are due extremely soon which is absolutely vital! For both it’s about ~$90

For the bajillionth time because I can’t express this enough, thank you so much everyone. We should hopefully be out of this situation come November sometime. Fingers crossed 🥹❤️🚩

~ Just as an update, we’ve actually received around $190 total. Unless received somewhat in bulk/at once/close together it’s very hard to save as there’s a lot of other things we need help with but we’re doing our utmost to save what we can towards the upcoming room fee.

Cashapp- $goldenratio1123 PayPal ~ @ iwannadaisuki Can DM if having any trouble finding me on these platforms and for Venmo or Zelle.

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So for about a month now I’ve been getting paid to watch a friend’s van while he’s crashing at this kind-of-a-squat down the street. I’m not making this up.

He pays me $20 every couple days (we’re both homeless, and I also get paid in other cool things + I get to crash in a tent next to the van, so it’s whatever). Today he paid me $10, with the promise that more would come later.

And so of course, I lost the $10.

I was planning on buying a few groceries—the squat might be getting evicted today so I’m raiding the kitchen, yoinked some instant coffee, need to buy some sort of creamer because I can only drink coffee with a fuck ton of cream and sugar.

I also owe a very sweet, amazing friend $10-20 for an insanely awesome speaker he found dumpster diving. We agreed on $10 but I think it’s worth more like $20. He’s an awesome person and deserves it.

Oh yeah and I need more butane for the awesome stove you guys helped me buy.

CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied

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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 24 minutes ago) by isame@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

I'll try to keep it short because I'm sure people are tired of hearing about it.

The week that I was out with my broken wrist, I thought would be paid. I've never had a job with PTO or sick time before. I'd used my allotted PTO for the year. So I put in my requests as serious medical (injury), assuming they'd pay me and then if I was found to be fraudulent they'd claw that back. Oh boy, am I naive. Definitely feeling stupid for a grown ass man.

So needless to say I didn't get a paycheck as I was supposed to. My apartment complex agreed yesterday to let me pay rent late on the 9th, and I'd just be responsible for the late fees within two weeks of the 9th. I could have pulled that off with about ~30 left between the next two weeks, but I'd still have a place to stay.

So now I'm here. I don't know what else to do. I'm going to go get the paperwork for FMLA (medical leave) signed by the doctor today, but this process can take weeks and I'm not even 100% sure it will work, as someone made a comment about it not kicking in for two weeks. I took that to mean FMLA won't kick in unless it was bad enough for me to be out of work for two weeks. Guess I should have milked that doctor's note huh?

So, I hate landlords, I hate capitalism. I have a couple groceries thanks to the fine folks here the other day, but now I need ~460 (this check will be complete and I can cover the other 300) by the 9th, plus the normal bills and such I was hoping to cover this week, along with groceries and etc, totaling 100.

I'll accept any advice in this situation as well, but I think I'm on top of it now. I just didn't realize I was supposed to be filling out paperwork while I was sitting in the ER and had no idea what was happening...

So actual long story short: Got hurt, work/capitalism fucked me, and I'm short on short-term bills to the tune of $100 and need an additional ~460 by the 9th. I don't expect the comm to make up all this difference, but I don't have friends with any available resources at the moment. I'm resourceful and will keep trying, but I'm in a tough spot. With my wrist broken there's not much side work I can do.

Thank you all so much. I'm trying really hard not to freak out about this. I really don't want to be homeless and start over again.

PayPal is sgriffith0891 at gee mail dot com

CashApp is $sgriffith0891

P.S. In other news, I'm pretty sure I'm easing some of my coworkers more and more left, so that's fun!

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Ok ok so I know I'm needy as hell lol but soon this shall pass as I have acquired another banjo a vintage harmony to be exact it's pretty alright missing a few things fifth string spike aka tuning peg, tail piece nut, also a could nuts around the pot, but most importantly me things maybe a bridge, total maybe around 65$ It would help a hell of alot to be able to make some money instead of crack spanging on here lol but for real it would be nice to be more self reliant once again. Any help always appreciated cash app: $paresomelove

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Hate it. Need food (hexbear.net)

so while I’m working on getting my food stamps I still need to eat. Can anyone help me out with like 20 or 30 bucks? I would appreciate it so much. It’s been so fucking rough man. my Cash app is. Scr33nshot. Love you guys….

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by tilhton@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

Greetings all!

I've known I was trans (mtf) for around 30 years now. Since transgender issues became very much out in the open, I was forced to confront something I always considered a shameful secret, and not something I would ever have to deal with in reality.

However, trying to deny how I've felt, or trying to postpone dealing with it has not worked out well for me, not at all. I ended up losing a lot of what I had worked for, my own apartment and a dream job, then with the pandemic, things just fell apart and I kept wanting to put it back together. Losing everything I worked for really, really took a toll on me, I really went through hell, a lot of abuse and hardship to come as far as I did, and to lose it all was crushing.

I've been trying to hard to restore my life back to what it was for many years now, and had thought of maybe trying to transition after I had managed to do so, but trying to do that while fighting and denying being trans finally became too much. Abut a week ago now, maybe a little over, I realized...I need to at least try it, as a priority for my mental health. I need to commit to trying hormones, to getting comfortable enough going outside in female clothing as my female self.

After accepting myself, even just to commit to trying, made me feel like the biggest weight I had been carrying for the last 20 years or so was just...gone. I felt free all of a sudden. Life seems so promising again...everything I wanted to do, I can still do, and have more motivation to do so now.

My problem though, and the reason for this post, is I want to find somewhere I can travel to urgently, and find some women who can help me getting started, at least with some simple things like makeup, helping to cover up facial hair after shaving, some basic clothing. Ideally somewhere I can learn to drive as well, just to have some independence finally. Somewhere I can start becoming my true self. I'm based around NYC but I do not feel comfortable with the shelter situation here, and would be scared to encounter people i already know here.

I have about $500 cash, no income or work at the moment, and a ton of air-miles so I can at least fly pretty much anywhere - but is there anywhere I can fly where there is some sort of shelter I could just drop in to? Artists collectives? Hippie communes? Motorcycle clubs?

I don't want to stay where I am as I frankly don't feel safe. It's a small room in a house with a lot of large men who like to drink, constantly gambling and yelling about sports. I absolutely do not feel safe here to start practicing my female voice, and to start trying to present female, even shaving my limbs feels like a bad idea here.

I would be very grateful for any options for someone I could move to on very short notice to get support with transitioning, make new friends (I literally have no friends or family in this country at present, and it's been making things so much harder)

I'm willing to do any kind of work, even sex work is something I would be open to as long as it wasn't digital...I just need to go somewhere else basically before Friday. At this point I'm thinking of just going to one of the trans sanctuary cities and hoping I would be accepted if I turn up at a female shelter, but I've had bad luck with shelters in the past so I am hoping for some other ideas.

I can't start hormones straight away as I would like to find a way to maintain my fertility and have children (and after accepting that I want to be a mom, this has become very important to me), but I want to start using shapewear, save up to get laser hair removal for face and adams apple removal and ffs, but basically just go somewhere i can be accepted and get more confident going out as a woman. This feels like a burning desire, something I have to do no matter the cost.

I can move and relocate anywhere as long as it's a city that would be accepting of trans folx and where I could find shelter and start my transition. If people have ideas or suggestions, please do share them, and thank you so much in advance!

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by cosecantphi@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

Reposting my thread from yesterday with an update. Thanks to a generous comrade donor, I only need 45 more dollars to go fill my Buprenorphine prescription.

I got fucked over by my last employer several months ago and have been since stuck in no job or income or savings land. Surviving out there is brutal. That, on top of the never ending, dehumanizing limbo of job hunting, is burning me from the inside out.

If any other comrades would like to pitch in as well, my cashapp and venmo accounts are both under the handle cosecantphi

Once again thanks so much to the bumpers and donors here on c/mutual_aid. I've been saved by this place, and I deeply appreciate it. I really can't wait to finally get out of this mess so I can pay it forward here heart-sickle

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I didn't want to make a post asking for this last week because it seemed like there were a lot of comrades who needed help more than me for rent and stuff but I really could use a bit of assistance

I lost my job and haven't been able to get the back pay I'm owed and also I don't think I can even qualify for unemployment due to having been an "independent contractor" and not an employee

I don't need rent money because I live with my parents but things are really tight right now and I may not be able to buy groceries without a bit of cash

Also I have an unexpected expense this week because I got a date for the first time in almost a year and I already asked her out to a movie without realizing I would have to spend the last of my money on something else this last weekend so I would really prefer not to feel embarrassed about being poor by telling her we have to change plans

DM me for my info or just post a comment here making fun of me for being a loser and I will thank you for bumping my post

Even just $50 would be enough to get by, $100 would have me feeling a lot more comfortable and any more will have me feeling like I got too much but in all honesty I may spend the extra on drugs for me and treats for my dog

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Any one got 20$bucks for some food or anything really towards a bite to eat thanks! Cash app: $paresomelove

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So I have a trans friend who wants to stay complete anonymous, who just recently had their power shut off. I do not actually know this person full frontal, my AA sponsor just mentioned this to me. If my sponsor trusts someone, I trust them. Take this as you will. Also if you're adjusted to sending money to my accounts, we're sending all the money to my sponsor for anonymity of the recipient. If you want to send it my way over PayPal instead of DMing, I'll make sure it gets to them.

The recipient has stated that they had their power cut off after being 50 pence short of their power bill. Because of that, there's a minimum 25 pound + "fees" cost to getting the power back on. They're really scared right now, and I told my sponsor I'd check here.

Like I said, even if you've previously sent to me, DM me for the payment info so I can make sure they get them money. They only have PayPal, so that's easy enough to just send to me, but Cashapp and Venmo are a different beast entirely.

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by orshelack@hexbear.net to c/mutual_aid@hexbear.net

Just looking for $20 or so to get ingredients for a meal or two for my partner and I.

Details in dm if you're able to assist. Thanks in advance!

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