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this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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Some good examples:
Fat acceptance and body positivity. Obesity is glorified (even fetishized) when it's a woman, whereas obese men are shunned. Have you noticed that nobody in the fat acceptance movement is vouching for the 300lb basement dwellers?
Older ladies who date younger guys are called cougars, whereas if you flip the gender roles, an older man dating a younger lady half his age is going to be labelled a pedophile, even if she's of-age. Just look at at the anger surrounding Tobey Maguire (48 years old) dating a 20 year old actress. There are people who legitimately think men like him should be hunted for sport.
The amount of effort you have to put into your dating profile. Women have the opposite problem of being inundated with matches even with minimal effort.
The body positivity one really upsets me. A few years ago Target rearranged the clothing area. The men's area shrank and the women's is like three times are big. The women's area has all manner of plus sized models and mannequins. Nothing of the sort in the men's.
It's like, I've always known body positivity (when it comes to corporations doing it) is extremely one sided and they're only chasing profits but I'd never seen it so literally before. Target was one of my favorite places to shop for clothes.
Body positivity almost doesn't exist for men. As soon as some asshole guy does something, its jokes about their body. Ive seen jokes about being short and no one cares as long as your talking about Putin or Tory Lanes, fat and small dick jokes constantly thrown at Trump. All of these are body shaming that will never be seen by the people they're directed at but will be seen by pleny of others with those features.
I think I get what you're saying but let's be honest in that a larger guy half the time will just need an XL T-shirt. The sizes of these areas for merchandise are relative to consumer demands and consumer volume by sex. As someone who worked at Target for a couple of years back in the day, yes, far more women shop there. And the style of dressing for women has always been more diverse.
With respect to the mannequins, there seems to be a difference in the perception of average body types in reflection based on the gender. Perhaps this is more a trait of conservative men, but no matter how much of a beer belly they have, they seem to want to be perceived like they're macho manly six-pack men. Marketing plays to that. On the flip-side, it has become trendy to give comfort to women who -- by far -- receive far more bullying over being large both online and offline. No doubt as a white male I feel fucking privileged by contrast of what my sisters or wife have gone through at times in their lives.
I'm being honest when I tell you that I need 2X.
Dating apps have fuckloads of problems that work against non-top paying users, but for men the main issue is demographic: 80% of users are men. There just aren't enough women on them.
I am in the dating scene at the moment. I definitely agree that men and women suffer the opposite problem on those apps. I think the apps are generally not designed to be successful and take advantage of choice fatigue. I don't know if it's a double standard per-se but I do think there's a drastic difference in amount of effort applied.
Of course there's no requirement but I do think that the minimum general expectation people have is that there is going to be effort applied to find a partner (aka, communication). That doesn't always seem to be the case, especially from my anecdotal experience, that getting anything more than a 1-3 word reply is considered a success.
On the age thing, TBH anyone under 25 or so should not be dating anyone more than 10 years older than them. It's still a very formative time both physically (brain development) and psychologically/sociologically. It can cause serious power dynamic issues that risk them being unable to end the relationship or deny consent for certain things. That said gender doesn't make a difference in those scenarios beyond the fact that women are at a disadvantage and less likely to be wealthy and use that to control the younger.
But outside of issues where the older person holds power over the younger, I don't think age should even be that big of a thing. Yes, people of different generations are less likely to have things in common and other conflicts can occur that are age related, but that's for them to decide.