This has me wondering if art supply stores have people coming in complaining that their pencil ran out of lead when they were in the middle of drawing.

Aren't those things like the size of a fist? How long did she wash it for?!

I'd like to subscribe to more new age shop stories!

Yum.

Skin cells, dust mite shit and animal hairs.

Why does it never taste like salt?

And why do I keep trying?!?

Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there's no programs running that you can see.

Do you:

• Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux

• leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number

• Leave, but not before performing a mercy killing on the laptop

Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!

Had an annon grindr date try this on me once. Except I already had Linux on all my electronics. Hottest sex ever. Happily married for 6 years.

There's a decent chance that's still the salt lamp.

Yeah if there are no knives we ain't fuckin

are you sure you don't want to share an indirect kiss with all her past tinder dates?

Same. That lamp has absolutely been licked before. You don't know by whom and you don't know how recently. If you're at least a tiny bit of a germaphobe, those statements should frighten you.