Woah there, I’m not sure I’m ready for that level of commitment.

I'd only date someone fully independent, so my AI joyfriend operates their own cloud cluster through a combination of a crypto wallet and findom

I think my wife is cheating on me with my self hosted AI girlfriend's boyfriend that lives in the same database file. What do I do?

That'll make you go blind

Now consider the number of normal people in the world who do not have a server rack in their closet, and how much they are about to be defrauded and blackmailed

Hey now, I don't want anyone looking at my girlfriend's source code. That's personal!

The bots (what the actual girlfriends or whatever other characters are) aren't the problem. You can find them on chub.ai for example or write them yourself fairly easily. The issue the software, and even more so the hardware. You need something like the mentioned Kobold.ccp or oobabooga, and then you'd also need a trained LLM model that you can get on huggingface.co, which is already where it gets complicated (they'll be loaded within kobold or oobabooga). You also need to understand how they work in regards to context sizes & bytes, because they need a lot, and I mean A LOT of vram to work properly. Basically, the more vram you have, the better the contextual understanding, their memory is. Otherwise you'd have a bot that maybe knows to only contextualize the last couple messages. For paid services like novelai.net you basically have your bots run through big ass server farms with lots of GPUs that bundle their vram and processing power, giving you "decent" context sizes (imo the greatest weak point of LLMs and it is deeply rooted in how they work) and decent speed. NovelAI also supports front-ends like SillyTavern which is great for local bot management and settings, regardless if you self host or use a paid service (NOT EVERY PAID SERVICE HAS AN API FOR THIS! OpenAI's ChatGPT technically does too but they do not allow NSFW content and can ban you for that if caught).
There's a bunch of "free" online services too, like janitorai.com but most of them have slow speeds and the chat degrades significantly after just a few messages, because they have low context sizes. The better / paid models suffer from this degradation too but it is slower and less noticeable, at least at first. You can use that to get an idea of how LLMs work though.

Edit: Should technically self explanatory / common sense, but I would advise not to share ANY personal information through online service chats that could identify you as a person!

Pretty easy to roll your own with Kobold.cpp and various open model weights found on HuggingFace.

As did Ferengi.

Either advertisers or the cops, possibly both want that information very much

Making a better chat bot AI girlfriend, informing porn directors, leaking it to the Russians,