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submitted 2 months ago by Des@hexbear.net to c/neurodiverse@hexbear.net

just wanted to let everyone know that i do read everything, react IRL, and upbear. my social anxiety and ADHD has crawled even into my posting/commenting online which i was immune to when younger. i was wild in early forums and chatrooms

also not sure how long is too long to reply. things move slower in the lemmyverse but i'm so afraid of a reply being too "stale"

whats everyone else think about reply/comment protocol real or imagined?

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 45 points 2 months ago

It's good comradeship to agree with everything I say and upbear all my posts. Telling me I'm wrong or stinky is counterrevolutionary.

[-] autism_2@hexbear.net 36 points 2 months ago

I don't think late replies are real. If the receiver isn't interested in the topic anymore they can just delete it from their inbox. NBD.

I don't reply to most comments because I don't have anything of interest to add. I still appreciate them though.

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Engagement is engagement, as long as people like my posts then I am happy even if no one responds with a comment 😊

[-] Des@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago

wish we had a button that does a special upbear that lets you reveal who did it

[-] seas_surround@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

I have :upbeared: this post kind stranger howdy-skull

[-] PaX@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I wonder what it be like if the record of who upbears posts were public........

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

like the heart in yt comments section to show the OP liked a comment!

[-] context@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

maybe an :upbear: emote to complement the downbear emote. i'd thought we had one. the perfect emote for when you can't find the perfect emote.

[-] Magician@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

I also feel this anxiety in other parts of my life too.

I try to reply to everyone and I'm afraid it makes me come off as intense or competitive (like I need to get in the last word) when I'm really just trying to say I heard and read what you said. Or I try to make it clear I'm not upset with something or ignoring them on purpose.

My parents didn't pay much attention to me growing up, and I think that's something that affects the way I interact with people. I don't want people to feel like I'm ignoring them or that I don't care, so I try to reply when I can.

On the other hand, that's overwhelming, and honestly untenable. Otherwise, I would reply to my texts, emails, etc.

I don't think many people are built for all the ways we communicate these days.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

I have replied to comments that are two years old

[-] Des@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

wanted to add: a react emoji is cool and good way to reply in a conclusive and simple way but can't always find a perfect fit

we do almost have enough to have a star trek next generation picogram language soon!!! picard-pointing

[-] PaX@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago
[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

Same, I feel bad anytime I don't respond to anyone and I keep feeling bad when I think about it

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

If it's something I have a good response to, I will definitely keep it going

But usually I just make my jokey-joke-jokes and go on my merry way

[-] Des@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

i like when someone replies to me with a jokey joke because it feels conclusive

unless we are having a real convo but eventually those should move to dm or it petters out after a day

[-] Kolibri@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

same, and then I feel like im being really rude when I don't reply. also I don't want someone to feel ignored

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

I tend towards either anxiety-induced non-reponse and feeling bad about it or writing something way too long and worrying that I came off weird or that the person will feel obligated to respond (which filtered back through my own experience is tantamount to psychic violence).

Putting on my cognitive behavioral hat, making a late reply is good as a low stakes exposure exercise. You kill two birds with one stone--you show yourself that you can push through avoidance even after it has built up, and (with almost complete certainty) by receiving either no response or a neutral/positive response you can see that no calamity will befall you for daring to necro an old post.

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

I showed you my barely-coherent ramble about a subject you've never once heard of in your life.

Please respond.

bocchi-cry

[-] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

i've gotten replies to comments i posted a day or two ago and i don't really think it's a big deal. and also i reply to things late sometimes cos i missed notif or whatever. so i imagine most people don't really mind.

but really, don't worry about it. for me at least, as soon as i comment something it has completely left my memory. so even if you're too anxious to reply i doubt anyone would be upset by that. meow-hug

[-] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 2 months ago

Same as you I try to at least say SOMETHING to everyone although that doesnt always happen

[-] kleeon@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

same. I don't like making the other person feel like I ignored their comment. Messenging apps like telegram and discord have emoji reacts that aren't quite replies and sometimes I wish I could do something like that on here

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

In seriousness I think it's fine Idk. I have funnybrain but I've never thought of anyone as being "competitive" or needing to get the last word in, I don't mind people responding to really old posts of mine, so on. I'm gay, I appreciate that you replied to me at all captain, ty! rat-salute-2

[-] cream_provider@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Posting/commenting gives me anxiety. People can be really mean online.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@lemmy.one 1 points 2 months ago

I feel you but the curiosity usually takes over for me.

[-] PaX@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Yeahh same

I really do appreciate every reply I just often don't know what to say or lack the energy

[-] Vncredleader@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

I feel that. I try my best to do this

[-] chickentendrils@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Only reason I don't use the phpBB frontend for Lemmy is that I'd spend too much time replying. This is the Web 2.0, if someone else comes along who knows what I was on about while baked out of my gourd, they can chime in.

[-] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I feel guilty if the post is more than an hour old, but I always upbear. I appreciate the peeps who actually post, y'all the real mvps.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@lemmy.one 4 points 2 months ago

Don't worry about late/no replies. This is just how the internet works:

  • People can visit a post long after it's been submitted.
  • It is generally accepted that people can be busy or have abandoned an account.
  • There is only so much to say about any topic, and it is impractical/impossible to keep replying just for the sake of it. Two such people would generate a neverending thread.
this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
101 points (100.0% liked)

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