349

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/45436045

top 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 93 points 5 days ago

I hope all American Oligarchs watch every window victim with wide eyes. This is the future you are funding with Trump.

[-] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 61 points 5 days ago

No no no. It will never happen to me. I am one of the smart oligarchs/good immigrants. He will just murder/deport the others.

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I really will have to insist on an "/s", sir.

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 days ago
[-] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 3 days ago

To be fair, it’s been true since text based public commenting became a thing.

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

Its gotten so much worse over the last decade though. The line between satire and reality is as thin as ever.

[-] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 18 points 5 days ago

Nonsense, our oligarchs are One of the Good Ones™

[-] anas@lemmy.world 49 points 5 days ago

I feel like we all knew this was not the onion. The onion would be a Russian oligarch dying in any different manner.

[-] bricklove@midwest.social 31 points 5 days ago

Russian oligarch survives assassination attempt by leaping out window

[-] hihellobyeoh@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

This is the onion article.

[-] skygirl@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

Russian oligarch dies peacefully in his sleep of old age.

Mikhail Roguchev died peacefully in his sleep last Thursday evening surrounded by his family and the heavy iron chains he had fashioned to keep him from being thrown through a window...

[-] fosho@lemmy.ca 12 points 5 days ago

Russian window manufacturer issues recall after hundreds of fatalities.

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 8 points 5 days ago

Window killed by russian oligarch

[-] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Russian Oligarch missing after falling up out of window.

[-] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Russian oligarch dead from falling window, officials on scene say "huh, well that usually happens the other way round doesn't it?".

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

or falling out after installing a new set of windows

[-] SARGE@startrek.website 44 points 5 days ago

I always see people commenting on stories like this with things like "how does anyone actually believe that/think anyone will believe that?"

Well, that's exactly the point. It's not about the death being convincingly accidental. It's very much about sending a message to others.

You don't eliminate the competition and agitators with the exact same method of execution for 30+ years (with a few false-flag apartment bombings thrown in for good measure) and expect to keep things covert.

The only way they could make it more obvious is the "he hogtied himself, ate a cyanide capsule, jumped out the window and shot himself twice in the back of the head on the way down" trope.

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

If it was a good deterrent, why does it keep happening?

I'm serious. I don't get it.

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago

Putin has been in power for 25 years. He arguably has more enemies than anyone else on the planet. I’d say the deterrent factor is pretty strong with this one.

It’s not perfect though. When you’re destroying your own country with the most disastrous war in living memory then you need stronger deterrents.

[-] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 5 days ago

As chonglibloodsport said, it's a numbers game.

When you have enough enemies, and keep making more, you're going to keep getting people who have had enough and don't care about the risk.

If it weren't for the "Russian suicide", putin would have been black bagged long ago by someone who WOULD.

[-] clutchtwopointzero@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

In some cases, the people in power change their minds and suddenly an oligarch who was compliant becomes a target.

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 points 4 days ago

It's the same with the vote rigging being caught on camera. It's deliberately careless. "I've rigged the vote, so don't even try"

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Exactly. They don’t have a signature poison because they don’t want people to know what happened

[-] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 47 points 5 days ago

It's barely even funny at this point.

Although I'd quibble about Newsweek defining this guy as an oligarch. He was vice president at a company that was disbanded due the company president's opposition to Putin. It's very possible this guy is just a former executive that refused to bend or hand over some dirt or something. It doesn't appear he fits the definition of oligarch at all.

Unless we're just using the word to refer to all Russians above peasant.

[-] MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io 39 points 5 days ago

Russian man promoted to oligarch after falling from window to his death

This has to be an onion headline at this point, no?

[-] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago

An office with a view to die for

[-] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 19 points 5 days ago

It's the wholesale murder of political enemies to consolidate power by an autocrat.

I don't think it was ever "funny".

[-] beatnixxx@fedia.io 33 points 5 days ago

This is why you shouldn't use windows. Switch to Linux.

[-] mc900ftJesus@lemy.lol 14 points 5 days ago

Man beaten to death by penguins will be the next title.

[-] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 2 points 5 days ago

Pacemaker driver had a critical bug.

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 4 days ago

Which caused him to go terminal

[-] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago

Future generations of Russians will gain immunity to fall damage once they weed out the ones still complying with the law of gravity.

[-] DoctorWhookah@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 days ago

They really need more durable windows over there.

[-] BonerMan@ani.social 2 points 5 days ago
[-] mp3@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago

Or softer oligarchs, they don't seem bouncy enough.

[-] BonerMan@ani.social 5 points 5 days ago

Hm... Putting them in those bouble balls would be good

[-] legowerewolf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 days ago

Isn't the acceleration worse if you bounce?

[-] mp3@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

Not in Russia.

[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 9 points 5 days ago

Phillip J. Fry is getting very very tired of questioning his state of shock...

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The Defenestrator strikes again.

[-] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 days ago

I hope elon has a lovely view.

[-] megane_kun@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago

Still useful to the Putain at the moment, but yeah, I hope so too.

[-] Justas@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

Autoerotic defenestration is a big fetish in Russia.

[-] BonerMan@ani.social 4 points 5 days ago

Fell right into 20 bullets... Wow what a unfortunate accident.

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Old tricks are the best tricks.

this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
349 points (97.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12083 readers
607 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS