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[-] pyre@lemmy.world 68 points 3 days ago

we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

"you think if JFK comes back he wants to see sniper rifles everywhere?"

[-] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

Well people said if he comes back he's going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha

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[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

It's not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.

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[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I can't read these comics without being reminded of a character in Community reading "Warren Piece"

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 27 points 2 days ago

It’s so interesting to see reactions of horror triggered by a mention of kindness suddenly putting one’s own actions into perspective.

[-] Magnetic_dud@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 3 days ago

A press conference with aliens? I don't think so. They'll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground

[-] pfm@scribe.disroot.org 8 points 3 days ago

Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪

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[-] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago

More like "what didn't we do?"

Am I right?

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Like 90% of what he told us to do, for starters.

Jesus: "Love one another."

Everyone else: "We're gonna kill that son of a bitch."

[-] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago

That 10% is doing a lot of work here

[-] smeg@feddit.uk 113 points 3 days ago

I feel I've seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago

[-] drolex@sopuli.xyz 110 points 3 days ago
[-] smeg@feddit.uk 34 points 3 days ago

Even more similar than I remembered!

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 24 points 3 days ago

The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.

[-] Sergio@slrpnk.net 63 points 3 days ago

That joke's been around since 1750 BC

Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:

When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"

What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?

You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?

Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 85 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Jesus ain't coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.

[-] TacoSocks@infosec.pub 15 points 3 days ago
[-] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

You think that's weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

I wouldn't come back either

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[-] Subverb@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago

There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.

[-] cuerdo@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

You will prove that one god exists?

Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?

Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.

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[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

If y'all think Jesus is so good you should meet his hermanito lupe.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago

TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.

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[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 days ago

Yeah, but wait until you hear what these green guys did to Santa.

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[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 27 points 3 days ago

We killed God. And we'd do it again if given the chance.

[-] Gerudo@lemm.ee 27 points 3 days ago

Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.

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[-] samus12345@lemm.ee 23 points 3 days ago
[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 7 points 3 days ago

If Jesus were to show up on an alien planet would He be incarnate as an alien

Yes.

The question is, would he be alien to us or them.

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this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
1480 points (99.2% liked)

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