this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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El Chisme

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Contrary to some info I've seen, 19-yr-old Doge staffer "BigBalls" Edward Coristine did not delete his X account, it's just renamed and is private. Wired reported that govt tech workers had to defend their work to the Neuralink intern in an Office Space-esque scene.

https://subium.com/profile/jsweetli.bsky.social/post/3lh7nii7yyk2o

OP continued

Since this blew up, you guys can now find out that in addition to the handle BigBalls, he also uses “MostSexy” on platforms like Venmo

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 74 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There's people out there qualified with decades worth of experience that can't find fast food work and some literal child with the username "IceBladez420" gets hired to oversee fucking medicare/medicaid and social security because he liked one of Elon's tweets.

[–] SatanClaus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 48 points 4 months ago

The goal is to make them do illegal things then say ah man they shouldn't have done what we told them. Those kids committed a lot of crimes!

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Hiring high school kids to run the government is what Melon's lord and savior Milei did, of course he's doing it too

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

high school kids to run the government

~~Being in the Model UN.~~

Being a top guy in DOGE who gets to fiddle the controls of literally six trillion dollars.

[–] Cimbazarov@hexbear.net 57 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Thats gotta be one of the most failson looking failsons I've ever seen he-laughed

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 51 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't expect shorts - but they track.

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The year is 2030, DOGE youth are marching me through the street wearing a giant sign around my neck that says "LIBERAL" and "I DOUBTED LORD MUSK". A 15-year-old crypto bro dumps a bucket of shit on me from an overpass.

[–] Cimbazarov@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] mar_k@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

only way elon's peter pan syndrome ass can feel validated for his 2014 redditor humor is to surround himself with the 4 zoomers dweeby enough to actually find him funny

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Maybe the whole combination of smug kid face with broccoli hair will cause the older cohort of chuds to turn on Elon because their irrational hatred of the youth will be too strong to overcome

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago

We can dream.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 44 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I’m getting serious “elite catholic high school graduate” vibes

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

He makes me think of broccoli as a human douchbag.

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago

The fucking groypers are in the whitehouse

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We need another luigi-dance

Desperately

[–] Des@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

He could have easily been one of these kids. Maybe one of them will stumble their way to a similar conclusion but I doubt it.

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Somehow the least shocking development given the tweets coming out of the official DOGE X account.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how he got the gig. Maybe it's actually as stupid as he studied old Reddit posts and to get Elon's attention - he kept tweeting to him stuff like "Le Epic Post, Sir!" And Elon decided to make him a top Doge guy. I wonder if BigBalls is working for free.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

I wonder how he got the gig. Maybe it's actually as stupid as he studied old Reddit posts and to get Elon's attention - he kept tweeting to him stuff like "Le Epic Post, Sir!" And Elon decided to make him a top Doge guy. I wonder if BigBalls is working for free.

I'm not sure how, but it's clear this is a case of trying to line the bureaucracy with bootlicking sychophants that will do anything Musky wants

[–] godlessworm@hexbear.net 28 points 4 months ago

the “one side of my dress shirt tucked into my gym shorts” is such a manufactured and contrived fashion choice

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

what is going on here? i feel like no one mentioned what the point is anywhere here

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Cruelty is the point. Imagine having your livelihood and contribution to society questioned by a 19 year old Elon orbiter wearing the worst fit you've ever seen asking you "what would you say ya do here?". They've asked people to quit and now they are putting them through trials of humiliation to make them accept the severance offer.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I guess I missed the whole thing.. I had no idea who this kid was or what he did. We seem to be in a rapid acceleration period now.

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] bbnh69420@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

“govt tech workers had to defend their work to the (child) Neuralink intern” Twitter strategy on government

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 1 points 4 months ago
[–] mar_k@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

to absolutely no surprise he's from Connecticut, and New Canaan nonetheless; the wealthiest town in the state with the median income alone nearly triple the national average

[–] dkr567@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

This kid can't even dress up properly, what an embarrassment of a failing empire.

[–] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 18 points 4 months ago

The kid manager in the second season of Severance is actually too grounded now.

[–] DrBabyJesus@lemm.ee 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I’ve never wanted to put someone in a headlock so much in my life.

[–] shath@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] crime@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

turn that broccoli hair into romanesco

[–] makotech222@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They're saying he's 'The most Zoomer man to ever have lived'

[–] shath@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

they're saying they're all trying to make his head explode with their minds

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

Jesus fucking Christ

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] crime@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

I call all these kids "Brock", short for Broccoli Head

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago
[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] bbnh69420@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

Milei Moment