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So okay here is what you do.
You get up, go to work, spend all day there, go home, stay awake too long, sleep too little, do it 5 days then try to catch up on lost sleep in the weekend.
This way you will get as little out of all your free time as possible, and eventually get depressed and/or have a mental break.
Good luck!
Don't fret about it. It only lasts another 40 years or so.
I'm 15 years in paper office space and already having a bad neck how can older gens stick to a same spot for so long.
For me, it was my hips. I really do think sitting for long periods in front of a computer is really bad for your health. Good luck to you. Get lots of exercise and take as many breaks as you can get away with.
There's culture shock and then hopefully you settle into the idea that this is your life now.
This is how it worked for me. Followed by just fucking get up. Tired? Slept like shit? Don't want to go? Just fucking get up and go, I don't want to be late or lose my job, I'll be homeless. I don't recommend this attitude as you'll burn yourself out but it's how I get up.
My problem is everything else. Where do you find time to tidy the house, clean, do laundry, shower, brush your teeth, now the lawn, etc, etc and then have energy for hobbies?
This is the part I can't wrap my head around. I've been a productive member of thr workforce for over 20 years but the idea that this is what the rest of my life consists of horrifies me.
I should mellow this a bit.
Right now you're experiencing some degree of culture shock so that's going to take ~6 months before that is fully settled. "This is weird." "Yes, that's something people experience in a variety of contexts".
But outside of that in the long run you really have to think about what's important to you and carve out time for that or you will be lonely and miserable. Something with regularity. I play board games with friends once a week. Sometimes I can't make it and they do it without me. But there's still way too much of my time that ends up being me staring at Lemmy or the TV, thinking that I really should . And you can end up like that whether you are single or in a relationship. School was simpler.
School wasn't simpler. It rewarded you for efficiency and intelligence by returning time back to you for completing the work quickly and correctly.
There is no reward in the corporate world. You slave away endlessly and the reward is you either get to slave away more or sit there for your 40 hours + commute.
Personally, I find that if I work in a day, then I'm drained. One great thing I was able to do was find a job that has longer hours, because working 8 hours and working 12 feels the same to me, but now I get 2 extra days off. With 4 days off I can have a recovery day where I do nothing, a productive day where I catch up on life's demands, and 2 days to spend however I choose.
I went from 3/4 twelves to 5 8s and it sucks ass trying to do anything after work. I have 6 ish hours to do anything. I used to have two days off in a row during the week plus 3 day weekends every other. It sucked working weekends and getting home later.
Nah man, it's 50 years of this and then you die
You ain't kidding. Looking forward to that final break.
Im still hoping to get good enough at drawing to be adopted im as a live-in hermit artist by some rich furry, so I can live out my life with no societal expectations /j
I can't speak for everyone, because I fundamentally believe that the increases in productivity due to technology should have been applied to flexibility for the working public instead of pure profit for the capitalist owning class. But for me, sometimes I can't stand another MOMENT of my work shift, and other times I find myself lost in the work for 14 hours before I even realize it. It's purely a function of what you're working on and what it means to you. Or doesn't mean to you.
I'm not sure how I will make room in my life for anything else.
That’s the neat part - you don’t!
When last I changed jobs (going from full time in house software developer to a consultant working for a firm), and every time I've changed assignments since (same firm, most times same client but different teams), I've been absolutely knackered. It can even happen once you're back from a particularly long vacation.
Sometimes for a week, sometimes for up to a month.
It does pass though. You'll find you have more energy as you get settled. Remember, new people to relate to, new things to do (even if it is similar tasks as previously) does take up a lot of mental energy even if you don't feel like it does.
Cut yourself some slack, give your mind and body time to adjust for a few weeks. Remember to eat and drink right, and afford yourself some extra down time. In my experience you'll be acclimatised soon enough.
Congrats on your new job!
Try not to think too hard about how most of the evidence points to shorter work weeks being better on pretty much every metric.
Or that most of the "return to office" mandates are counter productive cruelty.
I think I saw an article that claimed most office workers in the UK do like 3 hours of work a day, and the rest is puttering and looking busy.
Our system is stupid and it's stuck stupid because of people. It's not physics. It's not biology. Like there's not much you can do to fix like humans need to eat and sleep, but the workday is just made up.
I have a kid who's just starting full time work out of college. I'll tell you what I told them: you'll get used to it. You will eventually settle into the habit and it becomes routine.
However, there will be tough times where you need to work hard to motivate yourself to go to work. Those happen.
What works for me during those times is the same that works for me exercising (which I hate): one step, one mile, one day at a time. Tell yourself it's just one more day to the weekend or to vacation. Have something to look forward to.
Burnout also happens. What works for me there, is to draw an absolutely strict line between work and life. You need to fight for your work/life balance. Maintain friendships outside the office.
When you're not working, try to do something not related at all to work. If that's working on improving your health, that's even better. A healthy body and healthy mind has more energy. Do literally anything except working or thinking about work. If you can't turn it off, practice setting boundaries until you can.
Finally, and this surprised me as I realized that all the stupid corny stuff we do in the office: luncheons, raffles, TGIF, "just another day in paradise", and that, are coping mechanisms. Play along, but don't get sucked into a negativity spiral. Humor can be a great stress reliever, but watch out for HR watchdogs.
This entire thing is so tragic.
Yes, it is. But it's the reality of being a working stiff in America today.
I have absolutely no doubt that you are doing everything in your power to prep your kid for the reality. I dont mean to disparage you in any way, I'm just sad that we're here. Hard work alone isn't enough anymore.
don't get sucked into a negativity spiral
I got sucked into one by talking to a new negative coworker and didn't even realize it.
I don't. At least not anymore. I used to have a 40 hour, Monday through Friday job, but I had to find something else or I would've ended up having a breakdown. I'm autistic, and my life has been a series of periods of trying to be the person society wants me to be, failing, and then spending several years burnt out and unable to function before repeating the whole process. If I hadn't been able to live with one of my parents during those burnout periods I would've likely ended up homeless.
I've found that I simply cannot work 5 days a week. Even 40 hours over 4 work days will eventually burn me out. So I found a job that offers 12 hour shifts, and I work weekends. I pick up one or two shifts during the work week when they're available. I average 32 hours a week.
It's unarmed security, and it works for me, even though it doesn't pay well. I've just accepted that I will be poor, and my life is much better this way. Capitalism has brainwashed us into believing that money is more valuable than time, and there's something wrong with you if you can't match what is expected of you.
That's the neat part, you don't.
Well, I enjoy my job, is a big part of it. But I also commute by bike, which gives we time to decompress and switch gears, pun intended, between work and home.
Some of us never get used it it, because there's nothing normal about it.
I've been jobless for a year and recently found a job again as well. After my first day I was so exhausted, it was unbelievable. I literally came home after work, made and had some food, chilled on discord with a friend for an hour and was already too tired, so I went to bed after being awake for about 12h.
Starting a new job, a new chapter of your life is exhausting. You learn a lot of new things, you get a lot of new impressions. All this requires the gray matter in your skull to work pretty hard.
Now, even with mentally demanding jobs, you'll form routines that make things easier. Not just stuff like a morning routine or your route to work, but also work processes become easier after you get into the groove. On top of that, with time there are less new things you need to remember, like names of your coworkers, your offices layout, or what bus to take.
It gets easier with time. Hang in there.
And does it get easier to manage as you start to get used to it and make a routine?
European here. I worked many years for 40h/week and I never got used to it, really. There was not enough spare time in my life to enjoy it (especially, since commuting to work took off even more useful time). I neglected cleaning my room, postponed important appointments as much as possible and I was often too tired to do the things I love.
Since 2024, I now work 30h/week, completely from home. I have every Friday off and Thursday is a short day. My life has improved drastically. I am no longer tired all the time, I'm more motivated at work and I am actually capable of going to concerts, parties, cinema. It's amazing.
Every human is built different. I realized I absolutely cannot function having a 9to5 job from Monday to Friday.
Echoing "You get used to it." Right now, I feel like you're actively having to think of about everything: Getting up, what to wear, where to go, peoples' names, greetings, what you were doing when you left yesterday, etc., etc. Some of that will soon fall into the background. You won't have to expend as much mental energy on things. You'll just know people's name, you'll be in a routine, getting to work will be second nature, and what have you.
Im not joking here, working from 7am to 3pm feels sooo much shorter than working from 9am to 5pm. If you have the ability to decide your own work hours, then try to start earlier. Even starting at 8 instead of 9 is already a big difference in my experience.
When i was starting at 9-9:30 i always hovered around 0 in terms of overtime, now i switched to starting at ~7:30 and im easily racking up 4h of overtime per week, that i can then freely use to get off early from work on other days, and it doesnt feel like im pushing myself.
These working conditions are a privilege for sure so if you arent lucky enough to have that freedom just ignore what i said.
now imagine having a girlfriend / boyfriends plus 3 little ones?
Luckily i dont yet that going on but i feel your pain sometimes. I tend to go to bed around 11pm and get up at 5am. Naturally without any alarms. So i have 2 hours in the morning, i tend to do smaller home duties and then after work, study for 1 hour (no more no less), eat and then chill on the couch. On the weekend, get all of your cleaning, errands do as soon as possible which will allow the rest of the day to hang out with friends, or whatever
My biggest advice that I wish more people would is to go to bed on Friday / Saturday / Sunday at the same time you would throughout the week. Dont extend your waking hours and be sluggish come Monday.
Also enjoy your life. It goes quick
The first week at any job is always exhausting. There's a lot to take in, and a lot of active decision-making to do. It gets better fast when a lot of small things start going on autopilot.
Long commutes add to the suck.
Everybody’s working for the ~~weekend~~ oligarchs!
Great song
Imagine having children
And childcare eats 20%+ of your income
And your local government has made it illegal to terminate pregnancies
Nor will they support you after the baby is born
Grab your bootstraps youngin!
For me it was finding joy in work.
I, partly, became a manager to help others develop. I’ve been fortunate and worked for a few companies that believe the company can’t be at its best unless we’re training others to do our roles, train up mentality. I found that it’s a major kick to see someone succeed in something they never thought they could achieve.
I’ve helped a guy making decent money, make a lot more, raise his credit substantially, and fulfill the dream of owning a home. That’s something he never thought he’d be able to do. He was stuck in the mentality of born poor, die poor. He just needed someone to show him how our capitalist systems work and how to take advantage of that. Not only is he making more money but he’s happier and therefore more productive and does better quality work. No other sense of accomplishment has come close for me than directly affecting others lives. It’s really something.
And echoing what others’ have said, you do build endurance to the hours and grind the more you do it. I can basically work all day and not feel tired until I finally relax. I’m fortunate enough to have a job that has shorter days to balance the longer and I’m not stuck in an office all day (which I HATE). Not all jobs are office only / physical labor only. The great thing about COVID is that it forced remote work and a lot more flexibility in a lot of industries. I’m more of a hybrid work is best for me person.
It also helps to build a solid daily, weekly, monthly routine or “battle rhythm” as the military puts it. This helps break up the monotony of the days while keeping you on track to succeed. Consistency is the major thing that separates those that accomplish their goals and those that don’t.
Building a routine, and sticking with it helps a lot, as well as eating clean and exercising (which I need to get back into, lol). When you can nail a morning routine and carry that momentum through work, you'll be tired, but should have time to decompress after work every day and still get most of your chores done.
hated that work culture so i left as soon as the opportunity presented itself.
went to teach ESL. half the hours for better pay
The key for me has been finding a job I don't hate, and I don't have to take home with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't LOVE my job, it's not what I'd like to do for the rest of my life or anything, but it's decently manageable most days and I don't have any outside of hours responsibilities.
As an added bonus, I've always been a second shift person ever since highschool and it still works in my life right now. This allows me to spend the hours I have the most energy at home doing what I actually enjoy like my hobbies and such.
One of the major reasons I became self employed instead
It does get easier as you adjust. I went from Uni Art classes, to full time Industry trade job at 55 hours a week. It feels like you have no time for you. You adjust to the me time being late evening or weekends only. A 4 day (40h) work week is a better life balance. A company I worked for out here started that after COVID
i was on a similar situation recently, except boss wasnt so keen on curbing overtime (or paying us for it for that matter)
been working from home for almost 10 years, but in the post-pandemic world they refuse to let it happen now.
it gets easier to deal with as time goes on, but like, unionize. fuck giving our entire life to these leeches. also you don't need to work as hard as they demand you to. save yourself energy to do a bit of stuff for yourself.
Have you considered embracing homelessness? I wish i wasnt being serious but it is an option that if planned for instead of being forced into, is somewhat freeing. The van dweller community is growing extremely fast right now.
A few things help me.
Short commute, so no extra time spent getting to and from the office, and an electric bike that I enjoy commuting on.
Coffee and breakfast at my desk at work, not before going in.
Help at home - husband cleans after supper, and we have a biweekly cleaning lady so I'm not spending all weekend just catching up, can have at least a day to actually relax.
The people I work with are amazing, I like them so much and they like me and each other, it's a good group.
Taking all my PTO. I do a lot of Fridays off, and usually one solid week off at some point but using them to make short weeks/long weekends feels best to me.
If you really can't adjust maybe ask about doing the 40 as 4x 10hours not 5x 8?
Once you fall into a routine it will get easier.
First week is tough because you're learning the job, plus learning the best ways to travel, where to buy stuff, etc.