this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
734 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

16366 readers
791 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] thejoker954@lemmy.world 191 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

He's like a Scooby-Doo villain but for good? He would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those pesky cops.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 172 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And one, packed with concentrates, labeled "He is resin!"

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 month ago

Is there a pic of this? I wanna put John Brown's face on it.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 104 points 1 month ago
[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 101 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The hero we wanted, but didn't deserve

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 96 points 1 month ago

The Easter Buddy.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In true Easter Egg Hunt fashion, one egg was not recovered until someone's grandchild randomly found it a day later.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thought you were joking

"The suspect posted four photos on Facebook showing each location as hints to locate the eggs," the release said. "He also posted a photo of five plastic eggs in the seat of a vehicle. Officers found four eggs and believed he had not placed the fifth."

Officers learned they were incorrect in their assumption when a man and his granddaughter turned the final egg into the department the next day, having also found it in a park, per the release. In total, officers said they recovered over a quarter of an ounce of marijuana

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)

over a quarter of an ounce of marijuana

So like $100-200 worth of weed? Unless it was like shake or something.

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

Much less than that. I get an ounce for $100 from my dealer. And he’s competing with dispensaries, so it’s not shake, either.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

A quarter oz is $40-$70 at dispensaries in my area (medical legal state)

[–] TronBronson@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I got you for 25$ fam hit me up.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (6 children)

In Northern California you can get a crappy ounce for $50, a good one for $100

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

thank you for the economics lesson i was gettin ready

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Paint greased pigs with the numbers 1,2 and 4. Release said pigs. Watch the hilarity ensue.

[–] yarr@feddit.nl 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This is horrible. Does anyone have the locations of the eggs so I can safely recover them to make sure no one else smokes those dank nuggs?

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

I'll help you.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The police hunted them all down, that had to be a hell of a day at work lol

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 month ago

free my boy he did nothing wrong

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 35 points 1 month ago

Why are the police looking for him?

Dont they have better things to do than give people awards or sth?

[–] dotson@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago

the weedster bunny

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Unscrupulous, no regard for the law in creatively hocking a product, give this man an MBA

[–] jasoman@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Real political material

[–] PacMan@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

The weed fairy is real!

On-on

[–] buwho@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 month ago

not all hero's wear capes

[–] wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

Great, this will just stir up the "omg Halloween candy has razor blades in it" crowd.

[–] lemmy12369@midwest.social 11 points 1 month ago

In my city a guy tapes money to an object randomly in some random neighborhood

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is a great idea.

This kept a bunch of cops busy looking for eggs. States like Florida have a bunch of cops looking for migrants to arrest and deport.

Not saying anyone should do this. It would be an interesting experiment to see what would happen if a bunch of people posted clues to Easter eggs that might contain drugs or maybe just a pretty little flower.

[–] runner_g@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

That would be great. Use a bunch of weed slang, bud, flower, sticky-icky, and then the eggs only contain lavender and chewing gum.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

That's Chad shit

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

This is so funny but also such a poor decision.

[–] phoenixarise@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

How generous! Too bad I wasn’t there lol

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Guy was so high he planned it all in detail, then told everyone .... then later realized he hadn't done anything.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is the worst URL I've seen in a really long time. Story was funny though.

[–] puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

local news: easter egg marijuana scavenger hunt hints online eggs weed pot facebook social media hint picture pictures hid hidden police search investigation five drug drugs narcotics dealer selling sell park parks city around across

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

we just figured out blues clues

we just figured out blues clues

we just figured out blues clues

because we're really smart

load more comments
view more: next ›