this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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Lord Of The Rings Memes

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[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 171 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Frodo was Gandalf's chicken. Realistically, how much damage to Middle Earth can one evil hobbit cause?

Edit: Just saw the title.

[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Gandalf corrupted by the Ring would be a really interesting what-if scenario.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Would love to see it. Wouldn't be mass conquest I think, but more knowledge conquest. That ring can't hold up to Hobbit weed man.

[–] Nikelui@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Same as Galadriel, he would march into Mordor and replace Sauron.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

Gandalf with the ring would have a good chance of being able to defeat Sauron, but Galadriel would not. Maiar beats elf.

[–] TastyWheat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Here's a decent video you just reminded me of.

https://youtu.be/U_gFEN-GhiQ

[–] egrets@lemmy.world 79 points 1 month ago (3 children)

In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a hen! Not dark, but round and orange as the dawn sun! Loud as the sea! Scratching and pecking even to the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Scratching and pecking even to the foundations of the earth

"But also it was her destruction: For she pecked too greedily and too deep..."

[–] trungulox@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the chickens, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I came here to find this. Ty!

[–] Nikelui@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

The flaming eye on top of Barad-dûr is now a chicken eye.

[–] Makeitstop@lemmy.world 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Clearly this someone who has never had to deal with an aggressive rooster.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What about using a Capybara

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Capy turns evil. Capy is too chill to care. Hot spring time.

[–] mmddmm@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Every few years around here there appears somebody stupid enough to insist on petting wild capybaras. That's something you can only try once.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I had fighting cocks. I meant not only were they bred for it they had experience. Still not as bad as people make chickens out to be.

Sure the cats didn't fuck with em much.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Isn't that illegal in many places?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not OP, but I suspect the aforementioned chickens might have been rescued.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ah, good point. Given the other... uses we have for chickens, it hadn't occurred to me that "chicken rescue" would be a thing, but it probably is.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It likely would not have occurred to me, either, but I have recently befriended another Lemmy user who has pet chickens. He has considerably expanded my perspective on my matter.

I'm actually a bit surprised he hasn't made an appearance in this thread (that I've seen, anyway).

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hah, I bet its southsamurai, I've also seen him around talking about his chicken(s?). I've never considered having a chicken before but now it's on my mind.

Part of me wants to try and adopt a raccoon but I know I wouldn't be a good parent to such a mischievous little gremlin. A regular puppy is enough for me.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

It is indeed. It's fun that Lemmy is still that small. Besides his interest in chickens, he also has a very recognizable tone - I've seen him talk about comics, for example, and realized it was him before I looked at the username.

I have no advice about raccoons, but I wish I did.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yeah. I think its illegal here too. (Laws dont really matter here, just do what you wanna honestly)

Yeah you can call em rescues, we obviously didnt make em participate since we got em (or any of their next generations), although did cook em up later.

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago
[–] judgyweevil@feddit.it 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

The chicken would have turned invisible as a wraith pretty quickly, and I bet it would have been powerful enough to escape the leash

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also, the Ring was trying to get back to its master. If it realized the chicken wasn't corruptible, it would have abandoned the chicken at the first chance it got.

[–] witty_username@feddit.nl 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Assuming that animals are corruptible, what animal would the ring go for if humanoids weren't an option?
A goose? Could fly the ring to Sauron

[–] DrDominate@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are you suggesting evil rings migrate?

[–] Rozz 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe they used Gondorian or Arnorian swallows

[–] a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

depends on if a single ring counts as laden or unladen

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Laden if unequipped. Unladen if equipped.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Based on it just sitting on a stream bed for thousands of years after isildur was killed gotta at least have more intelligence than a fish.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 1 month ago

Had Isildur been slain by the sea or around a mangrove, a crab would've picked the ring. Rise, Evil Craubron, servant of the Dark Lord

[–] Uiop@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

the Ring is treacherous and may just dissapear by itself.

[–] WrenFeathers@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago
[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago

This guy never played Zelda...

[–] Commiunism@beehaw.org 8 points 1 month ago

Bro hasn't played Runescape, evil chicken is no joke

[–] xia 8 points 1 month ago

What if he dragged it along behind him on a long string, instead of... you know... right up against his chest.

[–] IrritableOcelot@beehaw.org 6 points 1 month ago

"Meat's back on the menu, boys" hits different in this timeline...

(Yes, I know that Taking the Chickens to Isengard is noncanonical in other ways...)

Surely Boromir would have killed the chicken and run off? Frodo only escaped him because the ring was right there on his person.

[–] Anbalsilfer@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago

Ok, someone needs to write this book. Seriously.